Lost Without You
by AvatarBeau96
Summary: "Katara is pregnant with our first child. I couldn't possibly think of anything to be happier of. I knew that this would just be the next step in a happy life with my one true love, until a painful tragedy changed my life forever. I can't function anymore. Everything is pointless to me now. All I want is for her to return to me, but she can't...never again." A Kataang Tragic Drama
1. That Fateful Night

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar**

**Inspired by many works and the episode, "The Dessert" that got me to thinking of this story. And unlike my other works, I will not be so tied to the Avatar Slang I normally use. For example, instead of substituting "God" with "Spirits", I will actually be using "God" and "Hell" to make the story more realistic. Well, if you've read my previous works, you get what I'm saying...**

**Alternate Summary: **Just as Aang and Katara are about to begin their family, a sad tragedy takes Katara's life as she delivers their first child. Her loss deeply saddens Aang, and he has turned to numerous resorts in order to ease his pain. But as his life sinks deeper and deeper, it's up to his best friend and brother-in-law, Sokka, to turn his life around. But things are difficult with the Avatar-he is reluctant, refusing to change. Even worse, his daughter doesn't even know what her own father is like! Will Aang's friends be able to reunite this separated family? Or will Katara's loss tear them apart forever? Read to find out!

**Enjoy :) **

* * *

**Chapter 1:  
****That Fateful Night**

Soft flakes of snow fell down over Republic City, covering the capital in white. It had been going on like this for days, and the city was practically buried in snow. The water was as cold as ice, so not many boats were out at sea. Not many people were on the streets either. The city was practically paralyzed, but in honesty, the city was at its most beautiful. I loved the city when it was like this. I always loved how the snow rested on Air Temple Island. It was like living in the South Pole, in the home that Katara and I had lived in for so long. I had finished building Air Temple Island about ten years ago. And now look where I am—age twenty-eight with a baby on the way...

Yeah, you heard that right—a baby. Katara was eight months pregnant. Her brother, Sokka, and his wife Suki was here with Hakoda watching over her. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. How could I not be? We had been waiting for this moment for so long... And to think that soon I was going to be a father! Luckily, as I mentioned before, Sokka was there to help me keep my sanity.

At the time, I stood on the docks of the island, looking out onto the sea as the fluffy snow rained down softly, wearing my traditional Air Nomad robes with a small beard resting on my chin. I had this huge but calm smile on my face as I waited. I knew that Katara wasn't due for another month, but I just couldn't wait. I even had some of the best healers in the city here as well, making sure that everything went the way it should. Katara claimed that I was paranoid when I did stuff like that. She assured me that everything was fine... but sometimes, I got the feeling that everything was not fine.

"Aren't you cold out here?"

I turned and saw the love of my life standing just behind me in her thick blue parka and the orange scarf I had bought for her a while back. Her stomach was huge, as it was carrying our child. We had picked out two names for it—one fit for a boy, the other fit for a girl.

I smiled at her, "Nothing compared to winters down south..." I answered while approaching her.

She invited me into her arms, which I accepted as she replied, "You are right about that."

Suddenly I felt something move down near my chest and I jumped softly. I immediately realized what it was as I looked into my wife's beautiful, crystal blue eyes.

"Looks like Kya's kicking mighty strong, huh?" she said joyfully.

I made a playful smile as I raised a brow, "Kya? Surely you mean Tenzin, don't you?"

She playfully crossed her arms at me, "Even you and your Avatar powers can't predict whether it's a boy or girl."

We were toying with each other, just as we had done when we were just dating. Our love hadn't weakened at all since they became an official couple. Sure, we had our own ups and downs, but doesn't every couple? Even were weren't perfect...

"Neither can your waterbending! How can you tell it's a girl?"

She began to rub her belly, "I just have a good feeling, that's all..."

Again, I smiled as I leaned down onto the ground and began moving my hands gently across her belly, feeling for more kicks. Katara grunted softly as the baby kicked inside her, and all I could do was smile gleefully.

"The baby's strong..." I commented. "Feels like an airbender to me!"

Katara playfully crossed her arms again as she stared down at me, "And how would you know what an airbender feels like inside a woman's stomach?"

I got up and gave her a peck on the lips, "I wouldn't... But I'm hoping it is."

"And even if it isn't an airbender?" she questioned with worry in her voice and eyes.

"Airbender or not, I'll love it either way," I reassured her with a promise.

I meant what I said. Although one of our reasons for having a child was to try and repopulate the Air Nomads, that wasn't our reason for wanting a child. We wanted to raise a family—whether they were airbenders, waterbenders, or even non-benders, we would love the child that we brought into this world. Katara wanted to have three children, and I had hoped to have twice that amount, but Katara had firmly stated that, for now, we should just stick with three. But I didn't complain a bit. I completely agreed with her—three children even remotely related to me would clearly inherit their father's wild side from my days of youth.

Suddenly, we both heard a voice call out to them.

"Are you guys trying to get colds?" called Sokka, the representative for the Southern Water Tribe on the Republic Council, from the other side of the docks. He had what little hair he had on his head in a Warrior's Wolf Tail and has a short, thinly trimmed beard on his chin. He was also wearing a parka, but his was in a much darker color.

Suki stood beside him, wearing a similar parka but in a dark, grassy-green. "Come on, dinner's ready!" she told us both.

"All right," I called back as I held out my hand for her to take, which she gladly did as we headed down the docks and up onto the island.

* * *

Back up in the dining room of the temple, our entire family sat at a low, dark brown polished table on brown pillows. Sokka and Suki sat on one side of the table, Hakoda sat at one end, and Katara and I sat at the other end. The table had been set with bowls of rice and plates of various types of vegetarian food. One thing Sokka had learned to deal with while staying with Katara and I was eating vegetarian food. Hakoda had gotten used to it on the first go, and found it really helped him keep in good shape at his increasing age. Suki didn't mind it at all either—it wasn't much of a change to her old eating habits. Katara had committed to eating vegetarian food shortly after she and I had started dating. Actually only a year passed before she was insisting to become a vegetarian. I tried to convince her that it wasn't necessary and that I had nothing against her eating habits since it was part of her culture. But, of course, she stayed committed to the idea. Sometimes she was stubborn like that, but hey, I'm not complaining...

As always, before eating each meal, our family said a prayer. We bowed their heads before each other and our meals and joined hands.

"We are grateful for this delicious food, for our happiness, for compassion and life," said I in prayer.

After that, we began to eat, sharing small conversations that led from one thing to another. The subject of mine and Katara's upcoming child was a major topic in each conversation. No matter what, they all somehow led up to our up and coming child.

"So, Katara, you ready to become both a housewife _and_ a mother?" Sokka unexpectedly asked.

I raised an eyebrow, "Hey, I do my fair share around the island! I don't make her do all the work."

"Good," Sokka crossed his arms, "Because if you did, me and you would need to have a little talk."

Hakoda couldn't help but laugh, "Sokka, you're her brother, not her father."

"I'm just looking out for my little sister..." he said defensively, crossing his arms.

"I can look out for myself, Sokka. Besides, Aang and the Acolytes take good care of me..." she turned to me, "Especially the healers that you have hovering over me after every meal and activity."

"I do it because I care," I assured her with a child-like smile.

"Sometimes a little too much," she murmured with a grin.

"So...?" Suki questioned.

"So... what?" her sister-in-law questioned.

"So, _are _you ready to become a mother?"

Katara acted like she was searching her mind for an answer, grasping her chin and looking up into space. "Eh, not really..." she answered. "This entire pregnancy was a mistake."

"WHAT?!" I cried aloud, horrified, as I practically jumped into air. The entire table laughed, catching on to Katara's intentions.

"I'm kidding, Aang!" she reassured me, giggling.

I frowned grimly, "Not funny, honey..." I retorted. "Hey, that rhymes!"

Suki rolled her eyes, "Nah... really?"

I then eyed his sister-in-law, "You are becoming a lot like your husband, you know that?"

Sokka quickly wrapped his arm around the woman beside him and pulled her closely against him, "Isn't that great?!"

"More like a nightmare come true..." Hakoda retorted in a smiling mutter.

Sokka's eyes popped out at his father, "And now you are becoming a lot like them!"

Everyone laughed. Just an average night on Air Temple Island... One big happy family—that's exactly what we were. We had all gone through some pretty rough times together. Like, a year or so ago, Sokka and Suki tried having a child themselves. But just ten weeks into the pregnancy, Suki apparently had a miscarriage. Sokka and I had some of the best healers try and figure out what went wrong. In the end, they found nothing and just found the miscarriage a twisted act of nature. When it happened twice again, that was when Katara stepped in, as she was now known for being the best healer in the world. Unfortunately, Katara found the problem. For some strange reason, Suki couldn't have kids. There was a lot of twisted energy in her stomach. Katara couldn't really explain it, but the feeling of the energy just sort of told her the bad news. Then, when Katara found out she was pregnant... Well, Sokka wasn't exactly the most thrilled about the news, and I admit, for the first time in my life, I had never been so afraid of him.

* * *

_Katara and I were making a visit to the South Pole to see Katara's father, Hakoda. Sokka and Suki also took time off from their jobs in order to come as well. Katara had been more thrilled to see her father than previous times. Sure, she was always happy to see her own flesh and blood, but unknown to everyone else, she had come because of something... well, life-changing._

_Katara and I walked through the door of the large igloo, where we found the chief and his son waiting for us._

"_We're here!" I called as we set our suitcases down._

"_Well, it's about time!" Sokka exclaimed as he got off his seat and approached his sister and me, his brother-in-law. He gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, then moved on to me. "Hope you haven't been giving my little sister any problems..."_

_I had shrugged, "Eh... Not lately."_

_Sokka raised a questioning brow, "What do you mean, 'not lately'?" he asked threateningly._

"_He's kidding, Sokka... When will you learn that?" Suki spoke up as she approached her husband from the kitchen. _

_Sokka moved away from us both so that Hakoda could greet us. He gave Katara and I hugs and welcomed the two of us back home, adding that Suki would probably be done with dinner some time soon._

"_So, how's things in Republic City, Aang?" asked Hakoda as we sat down._

"_Eh, pretty good, I guess. Crime's been pretty low... Really, we've just been focusing on a bunch of witnesses claiming that they were being 'controlled by a mysterious force'."_

"_Sounds like bloodbending if you ask me..." stated Sokka. "But really we've got no proof and most of these 'witnesses' are a bunch of supposed criminals—ones we got no evidence to prosecute them with. So for all we know they could either be getting paid off to do this stuff, or their really is some 'force' controlling them."_

"_What's weird is that it seems that these acts are being performed in broad day, so we can almost immediately rule out that it's bloodbending," I explained to my father-in-law.  
_

_Hakoda made a contemplative hum, then turned to his daughter, "What do you think of it, Katara? I mean, no offense, but you are the only bloodbender we know."_

_Katara just shrugged as she broke eye contact, "In my experience... you'd have to be a very experienced bender, and it'd have to be while your bending is at its most powerful, moreover during a full moon," she turned back to them. "That's what I learned from Hama. But, personally..." she broke eye contact again, "I don't exactly study it..."_

_I knew how hard this was on her. She hated bloodbending, and ever since these claims began, people have been coming to her about it. I rested a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, "We know... We understand."_

"_Thanks..." she said woefully before getting up, "I'm going to go help Suki in the kitchen."_

_With that she headed into the kitchen, leaving us three guys to sit around and talk._

"_So, any children on the way?" Hakoda suddenly asked me._

_I had been completely struck by the question with awkwardness. As far as I knew, were weren't expecting any children, but still... How was I supposed to answer a question like that after we had been married for about ten years now?_

"_Not that I'm aware of..." I answered awkwardly._

"_Huh... I'd think that by now you two would be multiplying like rabaroos..." Sokka retorted with a grin as he crossed his arms._

"_You know, this is your sister we're talking about!" I cried out._

_Sokka just shrugged... then all of a sudden we had heard a crash come from the kitchen, with the sounds of pots, pans, and whatever else clashing against the floor. The three of us immediately got off our butts and rushed into the kitchen. _

"_What happened?" Sokka immediately asked right before I came up behind him._

"_Katara!" I cried her name as I saw my wife crouched on the floor with her hand on her head, seemingly dizzy._

"_I'm-I'm okay... Just-just a little nauseous," she stated as she looked into my eyes reassuringly, "I'm fine..."_

_I came up beside her and helped her up, "Are you sure?" I asked, not convinced that she was alright._

"_She's fine..." stated Suki. "Just three weeks pregnant."_

"_Well that's a relief—WAIT, WHAT!" Sokka cried out in shock._

"_Katara's three months pregnant—Aang and Katara are having a child," she announced as she took my hand in hers, "Congratulations."_

"_Wait, by saying they're having a child you mean that they have been going at it like rabaroos!" Sokka practically yelled in his wife's face._

"_Well, um, I wouldn't exactly put it that way but..." Katara said nervously, "We have, well, you know... had sex quite a couple times."_

"_Katara was telling me that she hasn't had her period in about a month when she collapsed. So as far as we can tell, she is pregnant."_

_I couldn't help but stutter. This had happened so fast. Sure I was expecting the time to come at some point, but never did I anticipate becoming aware of it in front of our whole family. _

_Sokka growled as he grabbed me by the collar, "Little creep!" he shouted as he pressed me against the wall, "You're deeeeeeeeaaaaaad," Sokka growled with eyes of insanity. My face was struck with fear that my insane brother-in-law was going to seriously hurt me. Just the look in his eyes told me that much._

"_Sokka, lay off your brother-in-law," Hakoda told his son as he laid a calming hand on his shoulder._

_Sokka's growling began to die down before his face completely twitched to one of stability, "I mean, congratulations, kid..." _

"_Uh, th-thanks..." I managed to say, still a bit shocked by the current situation._

_Sokka's grip loosened to the point where he had completely let go of me, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was still on the verge of having another mental breakdown._

_Then I practically jumped into the air when Hakoda's hand rested on my shoulder. I was now even more afraid than I had been with Sokka. Sure, Hakoda stopped him from strangling me, but for all I knew he was only doing that so that he could strangle me himself._

"_Congratulations, you two," congratulated the chief with eyes of pride._

"_So... you're NOT going to kill me?" I questioned confusedly._

_Hakoda stared at me weirdly, "Now why would I do that?"_

"_Because... well, you know... I—oh, please, don't make me say it," I shrugged awkwardly._

_"You are excited, aren't you, Aang?" asked my waterbender worriedly._

_I answered immediately, "Of course I am! It's just—well, you're father's right here and..."_

_The chief chuckled, "No need to be so uptight. I'm happy for you both—we all are. In fact, how about I take over in making dinner and make a special Water Tribe dinner just for you two?"_

_I smiled gratefully, "Thanks, that sounds nice."_

"_I'll even prepare my infamous stewed sea-prunes!" _

_I grimaced, "Great..." I said flatly, causing everyone to laugh._

* * *

Suki and I were in the kitchen of the Temple washing the dishes. Normally, I would be the only one doing the dishes since Katara became pregnant. I actually took on a bunch of house-wife jobs when she became pregnant, even before any of the bodily changes came to the surface. I just couldn't help it. I felt an urge to help and do whatever I could to make it easier for Katara.

"Hey, Aang. Why don't you go and be with Katara. I got these," Suki told me.

I continued to wash the dishes, "You sure? I could stick around and—"

"I insist. Besides, I got someone to fill in for you," she said before crying out, "Sokka!"

Just like a trained polar-dog, Sokka came right up into the kitchen, "Yeah?"

I wiped off my hands and approached the exit, laying a hand on Sokka's shoulder, "Fill in for me and finish the dishes, will ya?"

"What? So you can just go and be lazy?"

I turned around, "No, so I can go find my wife and spend some time with her."

"_Alone_?"

"We're twenty-eight years old, Sokka. We're not teenagers anymore," I assured him as I ducked out of the room.

"Yeah but a part of you is still that goofy kid we found in the iceberg..." muttered Sokka right before being handed a wet dish by his wife. He groaned and started to help, but the look on his face made it clear that he had better things he wanted to do.

* * *

"Katara?" I called out my wife's name as I came down a small flight of stairs to where the sky bison caves were located. It had been the only place that I hadn't checked yet, and I was honestly very uncomfortable with her being down there alone. Sure, Appa and the other sky bison were there, and surely Appa would alert me if anything happened to her...but still, something at the bottom of my stomach was twisting and turning, and I was certain it wasn't the dinner she and Suki had prepared.

"I'm down here!" she answered, confirming that she was in the caves.

I almost immediately pinpointed which cave she was in. Not much to my surprise, I found her in Appa's cave—well, actually it was more of a shed, considering Appa's fear of caves—feeding the bison a bale of hay as she pet the long-time friend. I then leaned against the entrance to the shed, watching while she enjoyed the comfort of the large animal's skin as she lied against him. She was laying on her side, her eyes closed as if she was sleeping, with that relaxing smile on her face that was contagious to anyone watching her.

I quietly lied down beside her, resting my hand atop hers as I gently ran my thumb across the back of her hand. Just moments later, she took hold of my own hand and opened her eyes halfway to see me, her loving husband.

"Hey, sweetie..." she said to me with a soft, gentle voice.

"Hi..." I whispered back.

She nuzzled her head against the fur she was laying on as I scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm as far around her waste as I could, trying to be as close to her as I could without squeezing her stomach. I stared into Katara's half-lidded eyes with as much love as a human-being could possibly show. My arm that had been wrapped around his wife's waste began to travel back down to her stomach, where I gently rubbed it in a circle.

"Aang..." she began to whisper as water began to trickle down her skin, "...we're gonna have a baby!" she whispered with excitement.

I continued to smile, "I know... And I couldn't think of anyone else I'd be happier to have it with."

"Me neither..." she replied. She broke eye contact, but returned just a moment later, "Do you...do you think we'll be good parents?"

My gaze of love transformed to one of curiosity and wonder, "Why would you even ask a question like that? Of course we will," I reassured her. But to be honest, I had been asking myself that very same question for months. I knew that Katara already had her own maternal instincts and that she had practically taken a motherly figure after Kya's passing. But me, I wasn't so sure... Would I be a good father? The closest thing I ever had to a father was Gyatso. Don't get me wrong; I know he did a good job raising me. But would I do just as well? I have always worried about that... What if my Avatar duties got in the way and I were never around? Or worse... What if something happened to me? Would Katara be able to raise our child on her own?

I forced myself to throw away those thoughts. All they would do is make me even more paranoid than I already am...

All of a sudden I felt the baby kick hard and Katara yelped in pain.

"Are you okay?" I immediately asked worriedly.

She had her eyes clenched in pain, but thankfully the pain subsided. "Yeah, I'm fine. The baby's just kicking really hard is all."

"You think that maybe we should get out of this cold?" I asked, still a bit worried.

She shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Really..." she continued to assure me, but I still wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

She looked up at me and smiled, "Yes, I'm sure. Remember, I have a lot of experience with pregnancies," she told me. "Remember when we had to take the Serpent's Pass in order to help those refugees get to Ba Sing Se and Ying suddenly went into labor?" she reminded me.

"Yes, I remember..." I replied, thinking back on those days when I had practically abandoned all hope and care in the world. That was just one of the many times that Katara had tried to help me through something that I otherwise couldn't have gotten through by myself. Although it was actually the family that helped me get through my depression, she was still there, trying her best to help get me through it herself. Sometimes I even ask myself who's wiser—me or her? Either way, Iroh was wiser than the two of us combined. That I knew for sure.

"Still," I began again, "We should probably get back inside and be getting ready for bed."

She sighed deeply, "Alright, if you insist," she said before smiling mischievously, "That is, if Appa wants us to leave..."

I knew immediately that she was teasing me.

"Maybe Appa wants me to stay with him tonight. I'd be happy to oblige," she continued.

I chuckled softly, "I'm sure Appa wants to get to sleep as much as I do right now," I looked up at the bison, "Isn't that right, buddy?"

My trusty sky bison agreed with a loud groan, causing Katara to scoff at him. "Why do you always take his side, Appa?" she demanded.

Another groan came from Appa's enormous mouth and my wife sighed in defeat as I got up. I knew she'd have trouble getting up herself, so I created a small, revolving ball of air and positioned it under her, causing her to softly float up into the air and back on her feet.

"Thanks for the lift," she joked, causing us both to chuckle. We started to head out the shed, hand-in-hand. The snow had begun to fall down even harder than before. Before we knew it, the island would be covered in sheets of snow about two feet tall.

We were halfway back to our room when Katara had once again cried in pain, except this time, she appeared to be in even more pain than before. In fact, her cry was loud enough to have Hakoda, Sokka and Suki rushing out into the courtyard; where Katara was doubling over onto her knees as I tried to ask her what was wrong.

"My water just broke," she managed to say.

I had never been so shocked in my life. I practically did a demonstration of Sokka's reaction when Ying had announced that her baby was coming.

"But you're not due for another month!" I cried in panic.

"Well, apparently the baby has it's own damn schedule!" she snapped at me. I didn't take it personally. I realized that when she went through all the mood swings. She was just in a lot of pain—pain that I'd probably never understand.

Luckily some of the Acolytes were nearby and knew what to do when this time came. They quickly got a gurney and placed her on top of it and rushed her to our room. Sokka and I followed closely behind. I still couldn't believe that she was a month early! How might this affect her, or the baby for not matter? Was it even safe to deliver a month early? All these questions and more passed through my mind. I barely even remember the rush to the bedroom. I was in such a shock and panic that I didn't even notice Hakoda stop me before I entered the room.

Apparently, he had stopped me just before I followed my wife and her brother in the room, clearly noticing my state of mind. He had this calm look on his face, but in his eyes, I could tell he was just as surprised about the current situation as I was.

"Aang, before you go in there, there's something I have to tell you."

"Can't it wait?" I quickly replied, "Now isn't exactly the time for chit-chat!"

He rested a hand on my shoulder, "No, you deserve to know this. I know exactly what's going through your head right now. You're worried for Katara and the baby's health, and how this early delivery may affect them both," he quickly said to me, and of course, he was right. "Look, when Kya went into labor with Sokka, she was a month early as well—just like Katara is now."

All of a sudden, I heard my wife scream in agony. Without hesitation, I attempted to rush in there, but was stopped by Hakoda. I remember turning to him with eyes of question. Was this really that important? Okay, fine, Kya was a month early, too. What difference did it make? Sokka turned out fine, right? Why was this so important that I wasn't allowed to be with her at this very second?!

"You have to know that, after Sokka was born, Kya had suddenly become very weak—weaker than most women after giving birth."

It was then that I started to pay attention to Hakoda's words. Where was he going with this? Katara was a strong woman—one of the best and most skilled waterbenders and healers in the world. I hadn't realized it at the time, but at this moment, that strange twisting-and-turning feeling at the bottom of my stomach had grown larger than before.

I heard her scream again. I couldn't explain the worry and panic on my face after hearing her scream with such agonizing pain just twice in the last five minutes.

"Hakoda, get to the goddamn point!" I shouted into his face without thinking.

"We almost lost her, alright!" he cried out, water coursing down his cheeks.

That was the first time I ever saw Hakoda cry. I'll never forget the pain and panic in his voice when he shouted those five words. Even today, I do believe that I've never seen him in such a state of emotion. He was always so calm, so easygoing, so...strong. But for the first time ever—that I'd seen at least—he was the opposite of all those at the exact same time.

"W-What did you say?" I asked, struck by the shock of his words.

He tried to avoid eye contact, but I bet a part of him just wouldn't allow it. "Look, immediately after Sokka was born, Kya became very weak. She fell into unconsciousness at least twice. Every time her eyes closed, I was afraid that they'd never open again."

"Are—You're not saying that...the same thing might happen to K-Katara?" I demanded with a soft, but shocked voice.

"I don't know, I just want you to know that if it does, you gotta hold onto the hope that she _will_ open her eyes again," he encouraged me, relieving me of some of my panic. But still, just hearing that she might do the same was enough for me lose it.

I heard her scream again, but this time, it was a name. "AANG!" she screamed at the top of her lungs in another release of audible pain.

This time I wouldn't let Hakoda stop me, and thankfully he didn't even try. I rushed in there with all my speed, taking her hand in mind the second I reached her. She gripped it with all the strength she could muster. I won't lie by saying that I didn't feel a thing. Believe me, the grip might as well have almost broken every bone in my hand, but I didn't let it bother me. I tried to ignore it the best I could as I stood by her side, watching as her eyes clenched as tight as she could while screaming loud enough to shake the room.

The bed was surrounded by some medically-experienced Air Acolytes and some of the healers I hired. Furthermore, Sokka was gripping his sister's other hand. Every now and then, we'd look up at one another. I could tell just by looking in his eyes that he was just as worried for his sister as he would be if it were Suki being the one giving birth. Honestly, I can't explain the feelings that were building up in my body. If I had to try, I'd say that I felt like a whole part of my life was changing right in front of my eyes; that after today, the entire world would be changed forever.

* * *

Seconds, minutes, even hours passed by without awareness. It felt like an eternity had passed. It had to be, at least, seven or eight when she first went into labor. And now? I wouldn't have even known what time it was if I hadn't to have happened to look up at the clock on the wall across the room. It was now around midnight. She'd been in labor for about four hours. If I hadn't looked at the clock, a month could have gone by and I wouldn't have even noticed. It was a torture watching her in so much pain. The pain was so great that I think she even passed out and woke up numerous times without me even noticing. I wanted to look away because I just couldn't stand the sight of her being in so much pain. But I didn't, and I wouldn't either. After every scream, she'd look into my eyes with an indescribable emotion. In some ways, she seemed happy, but in others, she was going through more pain than I ever could have when Azula shot me.

The voices that filled the room were so indistinct that they were practically garbles. The only sound that passed clearly through my ears were her screams. When would this end? Why wouldn't our child just relieve her of so much pain and hurry to be born? It already decided to come a month early, so why did it insist on prolonging their own birth? Why couldn't this just end?! Why did this have to go on for so long?! I wanted it to end; I pleaded for it to end. Each time I heard her scream, it was like something was tearing me apart bit-by-bit. I felt like passing out just so that I didn't have to go through it any longer than I already had. I thought that maybe I could run and hide, but then I'd be leaving her side, and that was the last thing that I ever wanted to do.

Another eternity passed, and that force that had been tearing me apart, finally reached my heart. My heart couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was running out of hope—that hope that Hakoda told me to hold onto...it was slipping away from me. I thought I had reached my breaking point. But...then...the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life passed through my ears.

All other sounds vanished from the would, and all I could hear was that beauty that lit up my entire face.

It was the sound of a baby—our baby! Katara's screams of pain had ceased. I could tell by that smile on her face that she was hearing it too. Before I could even collect my thoughts, Hakoda handed our child to me. It was a girl! Beautifully wrapped in a pink towel as it cried loudly. It was our daughter, Kya! We had done it! _She _had done it! She was so beautiful! I didn't need to pay attention to her exact description to know that.

"Katara..." I called my wife's name softly as I stared at our child with joy. She didn't answer, so I called her again, "Katara?" When she didn't answer again, I looked down at her and was struck with panic.

Her eyes were closed! "Katara!" I cried out her name, taking her hand and grasping it firmly. I heard her breathe softly as she opened her eyes. I had never been so thankful in my life. That hope that had almost slipped away from me was now in my tight grasp.

"Aang..." she said to me softly in a weak manner.

It was now that tears began to flood my eyes. Even today, I cannot tell whether they were from the worry that she wouldn't open her eyes again, or if they were tears of joy that our child had finally been brought into this world.

"She's right here. You can hear her, right? That's our baby—that's our daughter crying! Look, I was the first to hold her, just like you wanted!"

"Hey, Kya..." she said weakly, her gaze returning to me, "She-she turned out so cute!"

"This is our little baby, Katara. You did a great job!" I cried softly with the widest smile a man could possibly create.

Katara smiled as well as I showed her our baby, "She...has your eyes..." she stated happily.

"And your beautiful hair," I couldn't help but add as water trickled down my cheeks.

"Aang..." she began, her eyelids beginning to drift closed, "I'm feeling a bit tired... Could you let me rest a bit?" she asked as she finally closed her eyes.

Part of me couldn't help but become worried by that. What if she had fallen unconscious? Or maybe she had just fallen asleep... If that was the case, I had no right to wake her after all the work she had done to bring Kya into this world. But something inside me took over. Hakoda's words pounded at my heart and I couldn't help but try and get her to stay awake.

"Wait, Katara...please. Let's talk for just a little longer..." I pleaded. "Look, I'm gonna try calling her name," I looked down at our crying child. "Kya, hey, it's Daddy..." I said to her, but her cries continued and I sniffed softly as I saw Katara's eyes open again. "This is Mommy..." I told our daughter as I showed her the woman that had brought her into this world. But she turned away, her arms waving at the air while she cried even more. She was ignoring me... I don't think she understood a word I said.

Thankfully, Katara's eyes opened once again and she stared into mine. "I...love you, Aang. Please...take care of Kya." Her eyes then drifted closed once again.

That hope that I had gripped firmly then began to slip away again as her words struck my heart. "Katara...no, don't say that. You're gonna be fine. We'll raise her together, as a family, just like we wanted! She'll have parents who will love and support her forever, right, Katara? Soon we'll go clothes shopping. She'll go to school, make all sorts of wonderful friends," I managed to say, the words clawing my throat as they exited my mouth. I brought Katara's hand that I had been holding and brought it to Kya's cheek. "Do you feel that, Katara?" I asked her. "It's Kya's cheek! Come on! Don't you feel it?"

Then, without any warning, her arm dropped to her side. At the very moment, the hope I tried so hard to hold onto, vanished forever.

My eyes widened larger than ever before as hot tears dripped off my cheeks. "Katara...Hey, come on. Wake up!" I cried loudly. "Wake up!"

The realization hit me as I heard Hakoda's voice, "Aang..." he called my name as Kya was taken from my arms by someone I didn't even bother to identify. My whole body was engulfed by sadness and rage as I suddenly snapped at my wife's father.

"YOU SAID THAT'D SHE OPEN HER EYES AGAIN!" I shouted angrily before my head jerked back to Katara, taking her hand in both of mine as tears dripped onto the bed sheets. "Open your eyes...please, Katara! PLEASE!"

It was hopeless... She'd never open her eyes again. Before I knew it, I'd gone hysterical... throwing myself at her, wrapping my arms around her as tightly as I could while screaming up at the ceiling, "WHY! WHY'D YOU TAKE HER FROM ME! SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG; SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!" My gaze returned to her closed eyes, "KATARA!"

I screamed her name hundreds of times while tears poured out of me. I don't remember much after that. I faintly remember some of the Acolytes pulling at my arms, trying to calm me down. Eventually, my anger rose to the surface and I went berserk. I don't remember who I took out my anger on, but I do remember that at some point, I ran out of energy and collapsed on the bed, crying uncontrollably as I gripped her lifeless body.

_We said that we'd always be together... That's what we promised each other, right? You promised me, the moment I proposed to you. We-we knew it the moment we laid eyes on one another. Remember-remember all the great times we spent together? All the laughs, the smiles, the joy... We saved the world together, we built a nation and a city together! We-we were supposed to raise a family together. You...you can't leave! We have to do it together!_

"Katara...please, don't leave me..."

* * *

**Well, that was chapter one. I must admit that I—a fifteen-year-old male—cried and shed tears during the making of this chapter. This is the first time I've ever written in the first-person, so I hope I did well. I tried putting myself in Aang's shoes, but honestly, I don't think I could ever really be in Aang's shoes unless the same thing happened to me, and I pray to God that it doesn't. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I do not know when the next will be up, so just keep an eye out, okay?**

**Please read and review, follow and favorite!**


	2. Return to the City of Pain

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or any of it's characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 2:  
****Return to the City of Pain**

_Katara and I strolled down a paved path in the Republic City Park, with a thirteen-month-old Kya cooing in joy while in her mother's arms. We were heading for the playground that the city had built in the park not too long ago. Kya had just begun to learn how to walk; what distance she could at least. Katara and I had this idea of seeing who Kya would come to if we put her in the middle of her and I. I don't know why we were tempted to find out the answer, but I'm sure it was just another one of our in-the-moment ideas—ideas that just popped into our heads and said to ourselves, "Why don't we give it a try?"_

_So that's what we were doing here. It was a Monday afternoon, so the playground was more likely to be less populated than it would have been during the weekend with all the parents off work. Besides, we kind of liked having the park to ourselves. It was easy to keep an eye on Kya while she played in the sand, and plus, just watching her be in her own little world was a joy that we'd never pass up._

_It didn't take much longer until we arrived at the playground. I'm sure you've all seen a public playground before, so I'll spare you the layout other than the usual—a couple swing sets, slides, seesaws, monkey bars, and a big sandbox. _

_We set Kya down on the ground and onto her feet and she stared at us both in confusion. I doubt I could get into that little head of hers even if I tried. After we made sure she could stay standing on her own, we parted ways. When Katara and I took our short distance from her, she seemed even more confused, wondering what in the world we were doing. _

"_Kya," Katara called with a cute baby voice, "come on, come to Mommy!" _

_Our child turned to her mother and she smiled widely. "No, Kya, come to Daddy!" I called to her, bending my knees as I clapped my hands and held my arms out._

_The baby girl then turned her head to me and made a cute gurgle as she turn her entire body my way. I couldn't help but glance at my wife with a smirk of dominance. She retorted by sticking her tongue out at me playfully._

"_Come to Momma! Come on!" she attempted to become her daughter's destination._

_Just like that, Kya turned around again. I had apparently lost her attention. "Mommy" was now our daughter's choice of destination, no matter what I tried. I couldn't do anything but watch as she slowly walked towards her mother, wobbling left and right, trying to keep her balance. I was sure that she was going to fall...but she didn't. She walked straight into my wife's arms. Katara picked her up and softly tossed her up in the air._

"_Good job!" she exclaimed proudly._

_I sighed in defeat, "Look's like she's a Mommy's girl..."_

"_Don't take it personally," she began, "I'm sure she still loves her daddy. She just prefers her mother," she stated as she rubbed noses with Kya._

_I chuckled softly, "I would, too, if I were her..." I stated as I approached her. We shared a sweet kiss and gazed into each other's eyes. I then took Kya into my arms and placed a kiss on her cheek. "You love your daddy, don't you?" I asked her._

_In response to my question, Kya's small little hand grabbed my nose and squeezed it; filling her with laughter._

_I shrugged, "I'll take that as a yes..."_

_Katara laughed and we enjoined hands as the three of us headed back home...as a family..._

* * *

I was woken up by the sound of the brakes grinding against the tracks and slowing down the train I was traveling on. I had apparently been out for a while... The entire train ride, as a matter of fact. Last thing I remembered was boarding and taking a seat. I must have fallen asleep without realizing it. That had to be it because I had another one of those dreams. These dreams—they'd been recurring for the last five years. Each time it was different, but the scenario was always the same. I'd dream of what my life would be like if...if Katara hadn't passed away. Each time, I could swear that it was real.

I know what you're thinking: "A lot of dreams feel real." Well, I can say with all honesty, that these dreams couldn't feel more realistic. With most dreams you can only remember blurry images and maybe even a sentence or two. But with these dreams, I could recite every detail as if it just happened.

Eh, what did it matter anyway? They were just dreams, and that's all they'd ever be—dreams. But God knows that I'd do anything for them to come true...

* * *

_I guess that you're wondering what I've been doing with my life for the past five years, aren't you? Well, then, just be patient. I'll fill you in... Though I gotta tell ya, you probably won't agree with most of it. Back then, I thought it was all natural. But now, my entire insight on it all, and what I became, well it just makes me sick. I didn't even notice what I'd become until it was too late._

_Well first, you're probably wondering what I'm doing on this train, right? I guess this is as good a place as ever to start anyway..._

* * *

The train had reached Central City Station, the center train station in Republic City. It'd been just a little less than five years since I'd seen this city.

I hated this place. It was too full of memories I wanted to forget. The only reason I was alive was because it'd be too much trouble to die. I tried to run away from here, but no matter what, I couldn't run away from what happened...to you, Katara. The only thing I accomplished by leaving was realizing that you were still here. You'd be forever tied to this city. That was something I could never change, so I chose to accept it. I finally decided to return to Republic City—or in my case, The City of Pain. That's all that this place gives me anymore. But then again, no matter where I go, my pain and suffering follows.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit. The moment I stepped out those doors and caught a whiff of that city air, I knew that there would be no turning back. I was going to spend the rest of my life here...

My usual attire was packed in my bag. At the moment, I was wearing a two-piece suit, containing coal-gray jacket, a white shirt with a stiff, square collar, and some stockings over black shoes. My hair had grown out a lot, as I hadn't shaved it bald in the last few years. My bangs had grown to the point where they practically covered my arrow. I didn't care... I used to be so insistent on wearing it proudly, and now it didn't really matter. Why should it? It was just a tattoo anyways.

I left Republic City some time after Katara's funeral. Zuko offered to let me stay with him and Mai in the Fire Nation while I sorted stuff out. But there was nothing to sort out... She was dead, and that was that. Nothing would ever change that... But either way, after thinking it over, I took up his offer. But really, it was just my attempt at running away.

* * *

_The service had ended. She was now six feet under the earth. That was where she'd stay until time itself came to an end. I'm ashamed to admit that, somehow, I didn't cry throughout the whole thing. The most I did was shed a few tears, most of which were during the eulogy I gave. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to show how much I loved her, but my body just wouldn't let me. I felt like I got rid of all my cries on the night she died. I wish that wasn't the case... _

_If anyone's cries were noticed the most, they were Kya's. She cried throughout the entire thing. I had asked Sokka to take her to the funeral with him for me because I was afraid that I'd lose it again and go hysterical. Like the kind man that he is, he had agreed and brought her with him and Suki. All the while, every time I looked at her, I couldn't help but think, "Only a week old and she's having to say good-bye to the mother she'd never get to know."_

_With the service over, I tried to hurry to the carriage that was waiting for me just outside the graveyard. I didn't want to speak to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone. Hell, all I wanted to do was just go home and hide in a corner for the rest of my life. _

"_Aang, wait!" a voice called after me. _

_I recognized it immediately and stopped in place, turning around to face my dead wife's father as he caught up with me._

"_What do you want?" I asked him harshly. I already said I didn't want to see anyone, but I especially didn't want to see him._

"_There's, uh... there's something I think you should have," he told me, taking a small brown, rectangular box from a pocket inside his coat. It had the national insignia for the Water Tribe carved on the top._

_I glanced down at the small box, then back to him, "What is it?"_

_He shrugged casually, "Open it," he urged me._

_I sent him a cold look before turning my gaze to the box and bringing it into my hand. I slowly flipped it open it to find Katara's most prized possession. I wasn't surprised... I should have known he'd try this._

"_It's her mother's necklace," I said carelessly. "What of it?"_

_Hakoda sighed, "You know it's significance, and, well, I figure that when Kya is old enough to understand, she should learn it's significance to her mother. It was the one thing Katara had of her mother, so I think it seems logical that it should be the one thing Kya has of her mother."_

_I knew what he meant, and I knew he was right. It'd been passed down for generations, and it was only right to continue that passing. I don't know what happened, but then, something inside of me just, sort of, cracked. Tears began to develop in my eyes as I accepted the possession._

"_Thank you, Hakoda..." I managed to say as I wiped my eyes, a smile making it's way to my face. I was glad to know that I was still showing emotions for her. It reminded me that even though I could never see her again, she still had a place in my heart._

"_You're welcome, son," he patted me on the shoulder, trying his best to work up a smile. I knew it was hard on him. Then I remembered what he did. In a way, I wish I didn't. Maybe then I could be relinquished of some of this anger that was dwelling inside me._

_I turned away from him, "I got to go..." I said and began walking as quickly away from him as I could. I couldn't let something like this make me forget what he did to her and I. He betrayed us, made us believe him. I could never trust a word he said, but I did know that he was right about the necklace. Even that I couldn't deny._

_I finally reached the carriage where a driver was waiting for me. I quickly swung open the door and got in, slamming the door shut. I was just about to order the driver to head off when I heard someone knock on the door of the carriage. I turned and saw Zuko peering in. _

_I sighed annoyingly, "Yeah, Zuko?"_

"_Look, uh, I know this is sort of out of the blue but...Mai and I were thinking, and if you need some time to, you know, think things through and get stuff sorted out, you're welcome to come with us back to the Capital," he explained to me._

_I gave it some thought, "I might just have to take you up on that offer, but...could you give me a while to think about? Maybe some time to sleep on it?"_

_Yeah right... I hadn't done much sleeping recently._

"_Sure thing, buddy. Just give us a call, alright?"_

"_Sure thing," I finished, considering the conversation over. The driver then set off, guiding the ostrich-horses out of the graveyard while I tried my hardest to keep my eye on Katara's headstone. Eventually, it vanished from my sight and I was forced to just sit back and...well, just sit back. _

_We were halfway to the docks when I had the craziest idea. "Driver, take me to the nearest bar, please," I told the driver. Before I knew it, we'd changed directions. Not long after, I found myself walking into a bar for the first time in my life. I had no idea what was going through my head. It was like I had no control over it. But, the thing is, I didn't fight it either. I didn't want to fight it; I wanted it to happen! Something inside me screamed, "You can't deal with this on your own! Alcohol will take away the pain!"_

_I practically threw myself onto a bar stool at the front of the bar, throwing my head down on the wooden counter._

"_What can I get you?" asked the bartender. "Wait, aren't you—"_

_I didn't let him finish his sentence, "Just a cold beer; no questions asked..." I told him abruptly, not removing my face from the counter._

_I could tell without looking that he was eying me curiously as he grabbed a regular beer bottle from under the counter and set it down in front of me._

_I remember having second thoughts. I remember asking myself, is this what I wanna do with my life? I hesitated, raising my head and staring at the bottle for what felt like an eternity. Finally, that voice that was shouting inside me took control. I grabbed the bottle and placed the tip in my mouth, chugging down every last drop. _

_That was the first time I ever drank alcohol. Well, other than the few glasses of champagne I had at mine and Katara's wedding. But that didn't even compare to the amount I drank that night. I don't even remember leaving the bar... I found myself on a bench in the park with a bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other._

* * *

_Sometime after that, I left with Zuko and Mai to the Fire Nation. I told everyone that I'd be back in just a few weeks—two at the least. I had asked Sokka and Suki if they could take care of Kya while I was gone. I remember the questioning look on his face when I asked him. But nevertheless, he eventually agreed. I told them what I told everyone else, but only I knew that I'd be gone much longer than that._

_When Zuko agreed to take me in, I talked him into letting me get my own apartment. He was against it at first, but I talked him into it after explaining that I didn't want to freeload off of him. I, of course, knew that wasn't the case. I knew that he would assume it was just my personality, but really, I didn't want him to get in the way of my life._

_I stayed there for about three years until Zuko and I had our falling out. I had been able to hide my addictions to alcohol and cigarettes for years, but one day, Zuko finally realized that my attitude and personality had been changing. He confronted me and tried to make me quit. I wouldn't listen. He had no right to tell me what to do with my own life! And that's exactly what I told him. He soon realized that I wouldn't listen to "reason", and tried to cut me off. That's when things got serious. I wasn't going to sit there and let other people control me. You could say that things got a little "heated." _

_After three years of avoiding my return, I was forced to find somewhere else to stay. I didn't care... If Zuko was really my friend, he would realize that this was the only way to relinquish myself of the pain that was tearing at my heart. Eh, that wasn't entirely true. No matter what I did, the pain wouldn't go away. _

_Anyways, after our falling out, I left the Fire Nation and went back to Ba Sing Se. God, what a stupid mistake! _

_I got myself an apartment in the lower ring. I didn't do much while I was there. I got myself a small full-time job so that I could pay for the apartment. As long as no one in the government was aware of my presence in the Earth Kingdom, they wouldn't send me money like every other place I went to did. So I hid the arrows on my hands by wearing gloves 24/7, and hid the one on my forehead with my overgrowing hair and bangs. Luckily, no one really pays attention to a guy's forehead when their head is full of hair. Well, I thought I had finally ran away from my pain. Just living a normal life, where nobody knew who I was, it was enough to think that I might be able to just forget everything that happened and live like this for the rest of my life._

_But then, the dreams started to become more frequent. I'd even begun to day dream. I remember that about a year into my job, I was presented with an opportunity to move up to the middle ring and start working as a waiter at a restaurant. That's when things got really complicated. _

_You remember how Katara and I got together, don't you? It was right here in Ba Sing Se. Like I said, I made a stupid mistake by coming here. You see, Katara and I spent the first few weeks of our relationship in Ba Sing Se, more specifically in the middle ring. Everywhere I looked, I saw memories of me and Katara. All types... All the pain that I had been trying to avoid then hit me with full force. My addiction to alcohol grew worse. I reached the point where I once stayed up through the whole night drinking and even came to work like that. Needless to say, I was fired immediately. But I still wasn't going to go back to Republic City. Not until I knew I could control my addiction to the point where I could still work. _

_Now that I was out of work, I couldn't pay for my cigarettes nor my alcohol. It nearly drove me crazy. I once attempted to attempt suicide because of the pain. But I couldn't go through with it. That wouldn't make it go away... It'd only make it worse. The suffering—the pain and sadness—would follow my soul for an eternity. What was the use of dying if all it would do is make things harder than they already were? Dying wouldn't bring Katara back._

_Eventually, I gained some control over my addictions. I was able to get to the point where I could maintain some control over myself. That's when I figured it was time to return home—to the City of Pain._

* * *

Memories clouded my mind as I aimlessly walked down the streets of this heavily-populated city. The sun was beaming down at the city with all its heat, making the day a very sweaty one. One thing I knew this city could achieve is great heat and great cold. It had a well controlled climate. It was never too hot during the summer, but you could always hope for a white winter. I guess that's one thing I missed about this city. It's winters were the best. Katara always loved them best, too. It reminded her of her home in the icy South Pole. That's one reason we decided to move out here almost fifteen years ago. Fifteen years... A lot has changed since then. It seems that it was just yesterday that Katara and I married.

Wait! No, not just yesterday. But today! My God... How could I have almost forgotten? Now I really felt stupid; like I deserved a stern slap across the face. That's probably 'cause I did.

Today was the fifteenth anniversary of the day we got married. Now, for the first time in so long, I was happy to be here in Republic City. Of course, like I just said, I hated this city. But this day, every year since her death, I wanted to return but leave immediately afterward. No wonder why I was so persistent in getting back here today! I hadn't celebrated our anniversary in so long because I believed it to be pointless, but now that I'm here... maybe now I can make up for it.

Now I asked myself: What should I do? What would be appropriate? I couldn't take her anywhere... I couldn't make her dinner like I had done for so long. Then an idea come to mind. Maybe it could work! It wasn't much, but I had to show her that our anniversary did still mean something to me. What would she think of me if I just let it pass for the fifth year since she died?

I now had an objective to achieve. My head that had been staring at the sidewalk for God knows how long was finally picked up with a look of determination. I scanned the shops that I passed. I must have walked for hours, looking for just the right place. I couldn't go to just any store. She deserved more than that.

I must have walked for hours. The sun was just starting to set and I was nearing the docks on the edge of the city. I hadn't even realized it until I looked up and saw the large statue of me, standing proudly on Aang Memorial Island. I turned away from it, and coincidentally, I found the place I was looking for. It was a flower shop, specifically for the purpose of birthdays and anniversaries. It was called, "Ayame's Celebratory Flowers", or something like that. I didn't pay too much attention to the name. All I knew is that it was exactly what I was looking for.

I looked up at the sky, recognizing it's orange theme and deducing that sundown wasn't far away. I made no haste as I rushed to the flower shop. A small bell was shaken as I came through the door, alerting the store owner behind the counter that a customer had come in.

"Evening..." she greeted me politely.

"Evening," I greeted back. I looked around the small store. There were rows and rows of all types of flowers. But that wasn't all. There were also these candies lined up near the back of the store. Next to those were various candles and joss sticks. I smiled on the inside. This place had everything I needed. I just hoped that she would like it...

"Is there anything I can help you find? Are you searching for a specific type of flower?" the woman asked me as she came from behind the counter.

"Not really," I replied before considering, "except, maybe... Would you happen to have any panda lilies?"

"Panda lilies?" she pondered, taking in hand a clipboard and scanning the paper attached to it. "Yes, we do. A shipment just came in," she answered with a bright smile. "They're just down that aisle," she pointed down at a row of flowers.

"Thanks," I responded thankfully as I began to head toward the aisle she had addressed.

I hadn't noticed that she followed me down the aisle. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but since you're looking for panda lilies, would I be wrong by guessing that they are for an anniversary?"

I chortled, "No, you wouldn't. It's my fifteenth anniversary," I told her.

"Fifteenth?" she questioned, amazed by the number. "Wow... Congratulations. If I may, might I suggest a box of chocolates?"

The question struck me and I felt the need to admit a sad truth. "Um, no thank you. My wife... she's, uh... she's dead," I explained, avoiding eye contact as my own words pounded at my throat and heart.

The woman seemed to become upset and embarrassed, "Oh... I'm so sorry; I shouldn't have—"

"No, it's okay," I stopped her from blaming herself. "There's no way you could have known. You were just being friendly."

She shrugged, avoiding eye contact, "Still... That must be hard. But I guess I wouldn't know."

I didn't bother asking why. I'd just be trying to find out about her personal life, and really, all I wanted was to just get the things I came for and get out.

I picked up a bouquet of panda lilies. This was really all I came in for, but I couldn't help but head to where the candies were. I had no reason to buy candies. It wasn't like she could eat them anyway... But still, I felt the need to buy them anyway. I guess it was just my heart telling me that, "It's the thought that counts." I scanned the various boxes of candies. If she were alive, what type would she want most? I guess that was hard question to answer, because I must have spent at least a whole ten minutes considering all my options.

The woman must have noticed this, because she came up beside me and picked a white box from the shelf.

"These are our best-selling chocolates," she handed me the box with a thoughtful smile.

I smiled in appreciation, "Thanks."

"Is that all?" she asked curiously.

I took a moment of thought and grabbed a pair of joss sticks and nodded. We then proceeded to the front of the store and the lady took her place behind the counter. I guess she knew the prices right off the back of her hand, because she didn't even have to glance at the tags.

"That will be twenty yuans," she said.

I set the bouquet of flowers on the counter and reached in my pocket. I didn't have much money on me, but thankfully I had the required amount. Once I paid, I made my way towards the exit, bidding the nice woman "goodbye". When I got outside, I noticed that the sun was just minutes from vanishing from sight, only to be replaced by the full moon.

I looked up at the sky, "A full moon..." I thought aloud. I closed my eyes and smiled, "You loved full moons..." I said softly, barely noticing the droplet of water drip from my eyelids. Full moons had become Katara's favorite phase of the moon, and not just because of the increase in power it gave her. She always told me how the moon had it's own meaning of love and beauty. I remember always asking her what that meaning was, but all she did is shrug. Was it because she didn't know that meaning, or was she waiting for me to realize it myself?

* * *

A little over a half-hour later, I was on a ferry heading for my home: Air Temple Island. I had been avoiding this place for so long, just as I had been the entire city. But now there was no more of that. I couldn't run anymore. I wish I could, but there was no point. There was no point to anything, really. The only reason I was celebrating my anniversary was so that I could tell myself that she was still there, in spirit, and that this is what she would have wanted. I don't know if I believe that "in spirit" part anymore, though. If she was, wouldn't she have come to see me years ago? Wouldn't she have summoned me or something? But she never did. Sometimes I think that when she died, I locked my Air Chakra forever, cutting off all my connections to the Spirit World and the Avatar State. What did it matter anyway? I didn't need them... The world was peaceful. There was no need for the Avatar anymore. Avatar Aang had practically fallen off the face of the planet and no one made a commotion about it.

I found myself looking once again up at the large memorial statue of me. I must have stared at it for the rest of the way. When I looked away, I found the ferry parked next to the dock of the island with a few Acolytes waiting for me down below. I grabbed my bag and put it over my shoulder, taking the panda lilies and the box of chocolates from the seat next to me. As I came down the boardwalk, I was surprised that nothing had changed. I had thought that without me, the Acolytes would have disbanded and left the island to become some gang's headquarters.

"Welcome Home, Avatar Aang!" cried out Anil, the head Acolyte and the representative for the Air Nomads on the Republic Council.

I couldn't help but smile at the welcome. I guess it was kind of nice to know I was missed. However, I was curious as to how he knew I was coming, or even how he knew it was me specifically. Well, now that I think about it, Anil was no idiot. He was probably a lot better at noticing my weakly-hidden tattoos than anybody that just happened to glance at me. That...or he just wasn't a guy to forget a face.

"Hello, Anil," I greeted him, shaking his hand as I finally made it off the boardwalk.

"How was your trip?" he asked me.

_Trip_, I thought questionably. _I leave for almost five years and he calls that a trip?_

"It was okay, I guess..." I answered as we walked.

"We were just about to have dinner in the dining hall. Would you like to join us?"

"No, I'm fine," I quickly answered. "I had a long day; I think I'm just going to head to bed."

I caught a glimpse of him eying me in wonder, but I just ignored it. I had a liable reason to be tired. I'd been on a train since ten this morning, and now the moon had taken over the sky. As we made our way up the flights of stairs leading to the courtyard, I began to wonder why Anil wasn't asking why I had a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Usually that would be something he'd ask about, and even offer to put the flowers in a vase. Maybe he already knew, but then again, maybe he just didn't feel like asking. Why am I even pondering this? It isn't like it would make much difference. It would just be a stupid question.

Finally we made it up the stairs. Now I was really tired. I'd almost forgotten how many stairs there were. Or maybe I was just out of shape... I guess I have been pretty lazy these last couple years.

"Is there anything you need before heading to bed?" asked Anil curiously.

"Just silence..." I answered harshly as I left him and headed for the building where my room was. The master bedroom was on the edge of the island where the boy's dorm was at.

I don't know why I had been so harsh to him before I left. I hadn't noticed it yet, but this place brought out the worst of me. Well, what can you expect from a city that only gives you pain?

As I walked down the hall of the dorms, I realized that I hadn't been in this particular part of the island since the night Katara died, especially our room. After that night, I put it strictly off-limits. Even I hadn't gone in there since then. I was too afraid to...

All of a sudden, I thought I heard crying. The crying of a child even. My heart began pounding rapidly, like it was trying to jump out of my chest. Logic wasn't playing any role in my head as I began rushing to the room where the crying was coming from. Not much to my surprise, it was coming from the same room where our child was born. I swung the door open with as much speed and force as I could control, expecting to find Katara lying there, holding our crying daughter. I could almost hear her soothing voice trying to calm her...

But it was only my imagination... The room was empty—dead even. It was dark, only small traces of light seeping in from the closed window on the other side of the room. I let out a deep, depressed sigh, realizing that my mind had been playing tricks on me. Dirty, evil, and depressing tricks...

One thing I noticed was that the room hadn't changed a bit since the last time I came in here. The Acolytes had respected my wishes. I guess they're nothing if not loyal. I was happy about that. The room hadn't even been cleaned at all! Even the sheets were as messed up as they had been the morning that her...her body had been removed from the premises.

A grateful smile rose to my face as I closed the door behind me and began to approach the bed, hesitating almost every step. I had walked into a room that replayed that tragic memory non-stop. Which each step I took, I could see faint, almost transparent figures surrounding the bed. I was one of those figures. And so was Sokka, Suki, and even Hakoda. All the other figures were the Acolytes and healers.

A scream of terrible pain broke the dead impression this room was giving. It was filled with life...well, imaginary life. I knew what I was witnessing in my head. I wanted to turn away, run out of the room and never look back. But I couldn't... What was the use of running from something that would stay locked in your head forever?

That's what I told myself as I forced my body to continue forward. The closer I got to the bed, the more the memory began to fade. The screams began to fade, but the water dripping from my eyes didn't.

I allowed my bag to slip off my shoulder and fall with me to my knees as we both reached our destination. I threw my arms out onto the mattress, allowing my head to stare down at the floor as water dripped from my eyes and onto the carpet.

"I'm home, Katara..." I said, my voice so soft that it's trembling. I brought myself to pick my head up, almost sure that I'll see her lying there on her chest with that beautiful smile of hers. But I don't... but I knew the next best thing.

I sniffle and reached inside my bag and pulled out a small picture frame with a sketch of her in it. She was smiling with all the joy and happiness that her body could create, her hands folded out in front of her while her beautiful, long, silky hair blew in the wind. My mouth curved into a happy, longing smile as I set it up on the bed. I placed it in the middle of the mattress and took the bouquet of panda lilies and placed them on the left next to her picture, and placed the candies on the right. I then took out the two joss sticks I had bought earlier, lighting the tips with my fingers and placing them in front of the small picture.

I sniffled again, rubbed my eyes to clear them of the tears as I reached in my jacket. "One more thing..." I said as I pulled out a small brown, rectangular box with the Water Tribe insignia carved onto the lid. I flipped it open, revealing Katara's prized possession: her mother's necklace. I set it down in front of the incense sticks.

I now sat on my knees, my hands placed in my lap as I stared at her picture. I tried my best to smile as I told her, "Happy Anniversary, Katara."

I ran my wrist across my eyes again, "I'm finally home again. I'm sorry I missed our other anniversaries. I shouldn't have done that. But the good news is that I'm here now for this one."

I tried to maintain a smile on my face, but it was becoming harder by the second.

"Hey, remember when...when you agreed to marry me? It was the sixth anniversary of the day we got together. I planned an entire trip to Ba Sing Se just for us. We spent the whole day at that festival that commemorated the end of the War. Then, at the end of the day, I took you to the Jasmine Dragon. I took you out on the balcony and..."

I stopped, my own words starting to twist and turn in my throat as water coursed down my cheeks.

I didn't bother stopping the newly-formed tears from falling into my lap. I began to grip my pants as tightly as I could. I couldn't take it. I couldn't just pretend to be happy it was our anniversary. I wouldn't allow myself to just pretend that I was happy at all, because I wasn't. Not one bit.

You wanna know the truth? The truth is: I didn't want to just sit here in front of this memorial I made from her. I wanted to get up and punch something as hard as I could and imagine it was the monster who took her from me. I wanted to strangle and pound it with steel knuckles for as long as my heart would allow.

"She doesn't deserve this..." I managed to say through my clenched teeth. "What made you think she deserved what you did to her?" I raised my voice, demanding an answer. "What right did you have to take her from _me_?!" I began to shout, my anger and sorrow gaining control over my actions.

I rose from the ground, walking around the bed and towards the closed window. I grabbed both the shutters and threw them open, revealing the dark sky pouring down rain from the clouds. I hadn't noticed the rain until now. I hadn't even heard the thunderous lightning splitting the sky apart.

I slammed my tightly-clenched fists against the window sill, staring out with a face of anger and rage. An inferno burned in my eyes as I stared up at the sky.

"WHY!?" I shouted as loudly as I could. "WHY DID YOU TAKE HER, YOU DEVLISH BASTARD!? YOU THINK YOU CAN DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES!? THEN COME ON! SHOW YOUR STRENGTH!" I continued to shout, watching as streaks of lightning ripped through the sky with loud claps of thunder.

"YOU THINK THAT YOU CONTROL DEATH? WELL, COME ON! STRIKE ME! IF ANYONE DESERVES YOUR PUNISHMENT IT'S ME! I'M THE ONE YOU WANTED TO PUNISH, AREN'T I!? YOU TOOK HER TO PUNISH ME! LET ME TAKE HER PLACE; JUST LET HER LIVE AGAIN!"

My breath became heavy as I just stood there, waiting for one of those bolts of lightning to take me and leave Katara in my place. But it never did...and never would. This was God's way of punishing me for disappearing for so many years. Taking my entire race wasn't enough. He needed to be sure that I paid for all the souls destroyed during the war. He took her to punish me and to help her. For taking her, He could be sure that she was reunited with her mother; the woman who was murdered because of my absence.

Finally, all my anger burst out at once. My eyes clenched shut and I roared with great volume into the sky, releasing an enormous flame from my throat.

I used all the strength and energy I had left in me. By the time I was through, I was gasping for breath as I began to slide down onto the floor. I found myself lying on the ground, breathing heavy as I cried with sorrow, whispering her name every chance I got.

* * *

**Well, there's chapter 2! Honestly, I think this story won't come out as great as I wish it to. Why? Well, I figure that, in order to write a story like this in the first-person, one has to either have a great understanding of the feelings that someone goes through in a tragedy like this, or experienced it himself. And I have neither... I'm just going on what I believe one goes through, specifically how Aang would go through it. So, yeah, I hope this chapter turned out well. **

**Note: Sections in italics will mean one of two things: It will either mean that it is a thought or memory, or it is a narrative. A narrative will be a section where Aang—the speaker—will be talking about a particular subject directly to you—the readers. Like he's talking directly to you about an event, like in a movie where the main character is the narrator and is narrating a particular subject. You guys get it, right?**

**Please continue to read and review, and thanks for all the support!**


	3. News Spreads Fast

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or it's characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 3:  
****News Spreads Fast**

"_Come on, Kya. It's time to get your bath," I said as I tried to lead my daughter to the washroom._

"_No!" she shouted defiantly at me while smiling._

_I hear a giggle come from my wife as she followed closely behind us. "Sounds like we're going through her 'terrible twos'," she stated in an almost mocking manner._

"_Remind me, why do they call it that?" I asked her rhetorically. _

"_Because it's every parent's nightmare. And more specifically, yours," she replied,clearly mocking me even more._

_Kya continued to resist my hold, trying her best to make me release my light grip on her hand. She pulled with all her strength, but her father was just a little stronger. _

"_Come on; don't you want to get clean?" I tried to reason with her._

"_No!" she replied._

_A cocked a brow at my wife, "I'm starting to think that she may not be a waterbender."_

_Katara placed her hands on her hips and scoffed, "Why? Just because she doesn't want to get a bath?"_

_I shrugged, "Well, from my experience, waterbenders tend to love soaking in their natural element," I stated before deviously adding, "I've seen you do it plenty of times..." _

_She rolled her eyes playfully, "I don't even want to know what's going on in that twisted head of yours right now..." she teased._

"_Probably a good idea," I continued to tease her. My face twinged when I felt a sharp sting on my back from one of her sneaky water-whips. _

"_How did that feel?" she asked me, returning her hands to her hips._

"_How did what feel? I didn't feel a thing..." I mocked her as I continued to struggle with Kya._

"_I don't want a bath!" she cried out._

_I finally decided to deploy my secret weapon. "Would you want to if Momo got one too?"_

_Suddenly all her defiance stopped as she began to contemplate the idea. I watched as she stared at the floor, trying to make a decision. Finally, she looked up at me and cried, "Momo!"_

_Victory was mine! Kya always loved having Momo around when she was forced to get a bath. Actually... she loved having Momo around all the time. _

_In response to Kya's call, Momo flew into the washroom, landing on my shoulder and proceeding to lightly lick my cheek. _

"_Momo!" she cried out the lemur's name again and reached out for him, trapping the winged animal in her arms. She hugged the lemur tightly against her chest. Katara and I couldn't help but laugh as Momo struggled to break free of her grasp, throwing his arms and legs up in the air frantically in hopes of escaping. But our little toddler wouldn't loosen her grip one bit._

_I was able to convince her to let go of our pet lemur before she broke him in two. We proceeded to get Kya into the bath. She had apparently forgotten her decision from earlier and was no longer putting up a struggle. However, she did all the splashing she possibly could. If it hadn't been for Katara's bending, the bathroom would have looked like we were having a flood! _

_It didn't take long for us to finally get her cleaned up. We wrapped her in a rustic-brown towel and dried her off, then proceeded to get her clothes on. Momo stayed in the room, but he wouldn't remove himself from Katara's shoulder. Kya called out to him, but the lemur just screeched in fear, causing both me and my wife to laugh._

* * *

My eyes gradually began to open as I awoke from yet another dream. I sat there in bed—but not my bed. Not the one Katara and I slept in together for ten years. No... I was in one of the Boys' Dorms. I took in my surroundings as my vision cleared from morning blurriness. The bed was placed in the back corner of the room next to a window, and on the other side of the room was a dresser, next to it was a desk with a small book shelf lying on top of it right next to my bag.

I groaned tiredly as I threw the sheets from off my body and swung my legs over the side of the bed, revealing my muscled chest and boxer-shorts. My head was killing me, like my skull was being pounded by gloves of stone. And no... it was no hangover. God, I wish it was... Would have explained my most recent outbreak of anger. They happened every once in a while. I would become totally consumed by my anger and grief that I'd lose all control over it and go hysterical.

_Last night... that was nothing. Remember how I said that I once considered suicide? Well, it was at that moment I was having one of my eruptions. I wanted to end it all, so I stood atop a building during a lightning storm and begged for one of them to just strike me. Just like last night, not one came close to doing anything even remotely related. But I didn't want to stop, so I tried creating my own lightning. I ended up creating an explosion right in front of my face that sent me flying off the building. I woke up, just like this morning, with a splitting headache._

I thought back on the dream from last night. I could have sworn that it was real. I wanted to believe it was real, that fate was taking me into an alternate world where that tragic night never became tragic at all. Alas, all I could do was hold onto those dreams, because that's all they'd ever be: dreams.

I slowly rose to my feet, making my way to the bag on the desk. I dug through it and took out a change of clothes, similar to what I had worn the night before. I wasn't just going to stand around here. I wanted to get off this island for as long as I could. As soon as I was dressed, I grabbed a fedora and some fingerless gloves and slid open the doors to the room and headed out, closing them behind me.

I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was even going to go. I just wanted to get away from here.

Inconveniently, I ran into Anil in the hallway just as he was heading out as well with a newspaper under his arm.

"Morning, Aang. You heading down the the Dining Hall? Breakfast was mighty good this morning!" he told me as I just walked past him with my hands placed casually in my pockets.

"No, I'm fine. I'll get something while I'm out..."

"Oh, you're going out? Well, why don't you come with me over to City Hall? I'm sure Councilman Sokka will be glad to know that you are back home."

_Sokka_, the name echoed in my head... the name of the brother of my deceased wife...

"No, thanks... Maybe I'll stop by there later," I lied. I didn't want to see Sokka. I left this city for almost five years, with the impression that I'd be back in simply two weeks. I left Kya in his care that long for a reason. He and Suki were more capable of taking care of Kya than I ever would be. I couldn't raise her, not by myself. And I wasn't going to let the Acolytes help me in raising her either. Besides, she deserved both a father _and_ a mother, even if they were her uncle and aunt. I knew I could trust them, and that they would come to treat Kya as their own. For all I know, she could be convinced that they _are_ her mother and father. It wouldn't matter anyway. I practically fell off the face of the planet nearly two years ago.

Anil walked beside me down the hall, "Okay, but don't come too late. You know how busy it gets down there near quitting time. And I'm sure you won't be interrupting his work. He may be the chairman, but he always has time for his friends and family. Just ask his father!"

_His father!?_ _His father still steps foot in this city!? I would have thought that after Katara's funeral, he would have realized he was better staying in the South Pole where he belongs!_

"You don't say?" I said, pretending to be amused.

"Yes; in fact, I think the chief stopped by just a little over a week ago. Too bad you weren't here; I'm sure you and him would have liked to grab a drink or something together.

"A...drink?" I questioned, worried that Anil had somehow learned of my addiction. If he found out, I'd never hear the end of it.

Anil let out a loud laugh, "Got you, didn't I? I know you don't drink. The only time you've ever consumed even an ounce of alcohol was at your wedding, but that was years ago!"

I faked a chuckle to hide my relief. "Yeah..." my fake smile disappeared into an ashamed frown, "...years ago..."

_I wasn't ashamed to be drinking, just so you know. It was the only way to ease the pain. I was ashamed about having to lie about it. I should have just blurted out to the entire temple that I'd become an alcoholic. Wouldn't have changed anything; they had no jurisdiction when it came to my health. I could do anything that I damn well pleased, and they couldn't do anything to stop it. _

"Oh, by the way," he began, stopping in place and taking an envelope from a pocket inside his robes, "Since you've been away for some time, I assume you may be short of a few yuans." He handed me the envelope, and I had a pretty good idea as to what was inside. I proceeded to open it and found a nice allowance of about 300 yuans divided into a collection of tens. I sent Anil a look of surprise.

"I'm hoping this didn't come out of your own pockets," I said in concern.

He let out a light chuckle, "Of course it did. It's not much..."

_300 yuans is 'not much'? Now he's just being modest..._

I closed the envelope and handed it to him, "Anil, I can't take this. You earned this money; there's no reason why you should just give it away."

He shook his head in denial, "I want you to have it. I won't let you walk around the city with only 2 yuans in your pocket. Please, just take it..." he urged reluctantly.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't get him to change his mind. He was pretty stubborn when it came to things like this. Then again... so was I.

"All right," I said in defeat, placing the envelope in my jacket, "but don't expect me to not pay you back," I told him with a firm eye.

"Ha-ha, all right..."

We eventually made it out the dorms and into the courtyard. I thought that this was where we'd finally part ways, but then I remembered that we were both getting off this island right about now. We'd probably have to take the same ferry, too... That is, if I don't fly into the city? Nah... I didn't feel like it. I wanted to keep as unnoticed as I could in this city, and flying over it would definitely not go unnoticed. Moreover, everyone would immediately know it was me. How many other airbenders in the city were there? I was the only one...and I always would be. I wasn't going to go and have sex with some woman just so I could continue my race. There was only one woman in the entire world that I'd want to continue my race with...but she was gone...

Finally, Anil shut his mouth when we boarded the ferry. I thought he'd never stop talking. While Anil may have been a politician, he was definitely a talker. If you tried, I bet you could carry on a conversation with him for hours. Luckily for me, I never tried it myself. But Sokka sure did. I'm pretty sure Katara and I went to bed somewhere in the middle of one of their conversations, and I'm not even sure if they fell asleep talking, or completely talked one another into blissful sleep. All I know is that we found them both one morning with their heads collapsed on a table, snoring their heads off.

It didn't take long for us to reach the harbor. This would definitely be where we'd part ways, unless Anil had the intention of following me around all day. If it came to that, I'd just have to ditch him the best I could. It would be fairly easy... It might bring some attention, but it'd be better than being followed around. I'd just simply have to use earthbending to drill into the ground and tunnel my way to an alley or something.

Fortunately, it didn't come to that. He said his "farewells" and grabbed a taxi-carriage. I breathed a sigh of relief and proceeded down the streets, scouring for a decent cafe to fill that pit of mine I called a "stomach."

Eventually, I found a small family restaurant. I had come here a few times before. Whenever Katara and I had some type of disagreement, I'd usually come here for a pot of coffee and a place to think. It wasn't exactly my favorite place to find a meal, especially considering that she was no longer around, but I just shrugged it off. I didn't feel like going anywhere else. I just wanted a bite to eat...

I pushed open the clear, glass door as I removed my hat from the top of my head. I took a moment to look around. It hadn't changed much. It still had that blue and purple layout. It was actually a cafe that served Water Tribe cuisine. Go figure, huh? The one place I went to after an argument was a cafe that served food similar to that of her own culture.

I took a seat in a curving corner booth and proceeded to pick up the menu, which hadn't changed much either.

"Good Morning," a sweet, cheerful feminine voice spoke.

I raised my head to see a waitress in a blue tunic and white apron. She was cute, I had to admit. I could tell by her features that she was definitely from the Water Tribe. She had these sparkling purple jewel-like eyes. Her brown hair was braided into a long, tail-like whip, and she had a betrothal necklace on, so I assumed she was married, or at the least, engaged. She had in hand a small notepad and pencil, ready to take my order.

"What can I get you, sir?" she asked in a tone so nice that is was shocking.

I broke my gaze to take a quick peek at the menu. "May I get a coffee and, uh, just some seaweed noodles, please?"

"Sure thing," she replied as he scribble in her notepad. "Anything else?"

I took another look at the menu to see if there was anything else I required to fill my growling stomach.

"No, thank you," I eventually replied.

"All right, so a coffee and a bowl of seaweed noodle, correct?" she asked to confirm as she looked to me with a bright smile.

"Yes, that's right," I replied, smiling back.

The waitress then headed into the kitchen to add my order to the rack. Now I just had to wait. My eyes wandered around the restaurant aimlessly in an effort to pass the time. All of a sudden, my ears were shattered by the sound of an infant crying loudly. I was quick to discover the source. A small family a three was sitting at one of the booths lined up along the wall. The father seemed to be a dockworker judging by the overalls he was wearing. I assumed that the mother was a housewife and that the small family had decided to have breakfast together before the father had to go back to work.

The mother and father tried to quiet the fussing child, taking turns rocking him in their arms.

Before I knew it, the waitress returned with my coffee and noodles. The first thing I did was take a sip of the coffee, my eyes not removing from the small family. I wondered, _What must that be like?_ I myself would never know... Without Katara, I couldn't raise a family on my own. It wouldn't even be a family then... Just a father and daughter, cursed by the Devil who took she who was most precious to the father.

* * *

Sokka sat at his desk in his office at City Hall with a mountain of papers stacked on the sides. His office was pretty large, but was mostly empty. It was tinted blue with a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, and behind Sokka's desk was a bookcase containing a series books and scrolls. Along the walls were various paintings and yin-yang scrolls. On his desk was a lamp and a few picture frames.

Sokka was always hard at work, forced to look through various documents until the day was out. He was just waiting for something else to come up so that he could get out of his office for at least some period of time. He was always first to arrive in the morning, and usually the last to leave at night.

He heard a knock and raised his head to see Anil in the doorway.

"Morning, Anil," the chairman greeted as his gaze returned to the documents, "You need something?"

Anil made his way into the office, "No, not really," he answered, taking a seat in the chair placed in front of Sokka's desk. "But you won't believe who showed up on the ferry last night..."

Sokka chuckled, "I bet it was my father again, right? He sure likes to drop in all of a sudden..."

"Actually, for once... no," said the Air representative.

The chairman raised his head, "Zuko?" he asked quizzically. "Huh, I'd think he'd come in one of those airships of his..."

He shook his head, "Nope, not the Fire Lord."

Sokka put down his pencil and placed his elbows on the desk, intertwining his fingers and resting his chin on them, "Then who was it?"

"It was our long-lost friend Aang himself..." Anil announced with amazement in his voice.

Sokka's eyes widened in surprise, "Aang...?" he questioned. "Aang's back home!"

He nodded, "Yep. Arrived last night around ten."

Sokka's gaze turned to one of the pictures on his desk. It was of him and I smiling widely with our arms around each other's necks, hugging one another tightly. He smiled lightly and turned back to Anil, "It's been almost five years... and here I thought he'd never come back."

"Me too. I was quite surprised myself, especially when I saw that bouquet of flowers in his hand."

Sokka quirked a brow in question, "Flowers? What would he need flowers for?" he asked himself before the realization hit him. He groaned loudly, practically banging his head against the desk. "How could I forget?" he asked himself with a voice of shame. "It was their—"

"Fifteenth anniversary..." they both said in unison.

Sokka groaned again, "How could I forget? Every year those two would test me and see if I remembered! By now, I should be able to remember it on my own!"

"Well, something tells me he wasn't exactly in a happy mood about it," stated Anil mysteriously.

Sokka raised his head in curiosity, "What do you mean?"

Anil sighed, "The moment he got back on the island, he went to their old room. I don't what happened in there, but later on in the night, I heard him screaming something. He seemed to be angry at someone, too. All I know is that before he went in their, he requested complete silence," he explained.

Sokka's eyes drifted off to the side and his voice quieted, "He must still be upset about what happened..."

"I imagine so... I ran into him this morning and asked him if he wanted to stop by here sometime later."

The chairman shook his head, "He doesn't have to," he said before an idea came to him. "Actually, I think it might be better if I invite him over for dinner tonight. I'm sure he'll be surprised as to how much Kya has grown."

Anil agreed with a nod, "I'm sure he will. I bet you two have a lot to catch up on."

"Yep, that we do," he chuckled. "If you wouldn't mind, ask him to come around six, okay?"

Anil stood up from the chair, "No problem, but, uh, Sokka?"

Sokka looked up at the representative, "Yeah?"

"I think he's changed a bit... He's let his hair grow out, and doesn't even wear his Air Nomad attire anymore," explained Anil with a tone of worry and concern.

"I'm sure he's fine..." he lied, knowing full well that I wasn't.

Anil shrugged in an unsure way, "If you say so..." he said as he headed out of Sokka's office.

Sokka kept the appearance that he had continued work, but the moment Anil left his office, he put down his pencil and looked off to the side where, next to the picture of him and I, was a picture of Katara and I from our wedding day. However, Sokka wasn't necessarily looking at me, but at his sister. Tears developed in his eyes as he looked back on that night where the both of us were more afraid than we had ever been in our lives. He tried his best to muscle up a smile while his eyes stayed locked on her.

* * *

Sundown had come, and my evening temptations rose to the surface. I went out and found a pool hall not too long ago. Right now I sat at the front counter on one of the bar stools with a glass of whiskey in my hand, watching the other patrons gamble their money foolishly. Some of these people were complete idiots, betting at least five yuans each game. The most anyone had won was fifty yuans. About an hour later they lost it to some hustler. I had seen it coming... Anybody with a full-functioning brain could have seen it coming.

Across the room I heard a bunch of guys groan in defeat. Apparently they had just lost a game, and apparently a good bit of money. I made a wry chuckle and pulled out a carton of cigarettes that I had bought earlier. I placed it on the tip of my lips and snaps my fingers, creating a small flame on my thumb that lit the paper-wrapped stick of tobacco. After letting it smolder for a moment, I inhaled the tobacco for a good moment before blowing out a cloud of smoke from my nostrils.

I put the carton back in my jacket and gulped down the rest of my whiskey before getting up off my ass and heading over to an empty pool table. I must have played at least two games by myself before one of the other patrons approached me just before I started my next game.

"You seem pretty good," he complimented with a crooked look on his face.

"If you aren't any good, what's the use of playing?" I shrug to him as I light another cigarette.

"My point exactly. So listen, what's to say you and I play for a little cash?" he asked as he separated in hand a couple ten yuans.

I puffed out a cloud of smoke as I contemplated my response. "That depends: how much you got?"

He smiled and nodded, knowing that I was into the idea. "How much _you_ got?"

I quirked my head to the side in a shrug, "Enough..."

"Same here," he responded. "So how much you wanna play for?"

I chugged down some simple beer before responding,"Fifty each; winner takes all..."

He looked to me with question, "You must have some confidence to risk that much."

I crossed my arms and a grin of competition rose, "It's like I said: 'If you aren't any good, what's the use of playing?'"

We were both game. We took out our money and set them on the edge of the table. I gave him the first move. I couldn't really explain it, but there was a familiar look in his eye. Like me, on the outside we both seemed like normal gamblers who bet all their money on billiards and then wasted it on booze, but I could tell from the look in his eye that he wasn't just here to pass the time. He seemed to have some alternate motive; like he had also gone through some tough times.

As the game went on, we both seemed to be equally matched. I took the solids while he took the stripes. He got in at least four stripes before he finally was unable to pocket one of his own. I took my position, lining up the cue stick with the cue ball with one eye closed as a cigarette smoldered on the tip of my lips. In a quick motion, I jabbed the cue stick forward, sending the white ball on a collision course with my orange 5-ball. I had predicted it would smack against the bright-yellow 1 ball and that both would be sent into separate pockets. The 1-ball made it's way into the upper-right corner pocket and the 5-ball into the right-middle pocket. I heard him groan in dissatisfaction and I looked up at him and smiled wryly. I then proceeded with my next shot, which would pocket both the brown 7-ball and the blue 2-ball, and with any luck, the red 3-ball. Unfortunately, I was only able to pocket my 7-ball.

After failing to pocket my next shot, my opponent took his shot. While he did, I purchased another whiskey on rocks. I won't go much farther into the details. Partially because that was about the time I stopped paying attention to the game. All I can be sure of is that I won the game my pocketing the 8-ball into the bottom-left pocket. He didn't seem to be too disappointed. He gave up the money he bet with no regret.

"You played well," I remarked, suddenly finding an urge to get to know him better. "Why don't I buy you a drink?"

"With my money, no less..." he replied as we made our way to one of the small tables on the other side on the bar.

As a waiter proceeded to pass by us, I called out to her, "Get us both a shot of tequila."

She nodded in response and took off. "I don't believe I caught your name," I said to the man sitting across from me.

"It's Kazuto; what's yours?"

I wasn't stupid enough to give him my real name, so I just gave him the same alias I gave everyone else, "Kuzon," I answered as the waitress sat down our drinks. I tipped her with a few yuans before she left.

"So how long you been playing pool?" he asked me.

"About four years now. I played almost every night when I lived in the Fire Nation, but I left there a little over a year ago."

"No offense," he began, "but you really don't seem like a guy who hangs around a bar all night."

I shrugged as I picked up my small glass of alcohol and threw it down my throat in one quick motion. I sat back in my seat, "I didn't used to..." I responded.

"Me neither," he stated, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a match. "You know, you remind me of myself," he placed the paper-wrapped tobacco in his mouth.

I raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

He pointed at me, "That look in your eye every time you sip a drink or puff a cigarette. I doubt anyone else notices it, though."

I continued to eye him quizzically, "What are you talking about?" I questioned.

He chuckled, "You got that same look I got—the same look I've had for about ten years now. Plus, I can just tell by your actions, Kuzon."

I rolled my eyes. This guy didn't know what he was talking about. He didn't know what I was going through.

Kazuto snorted, "Yeah, go ahead and roll your eyes," he leaned forward, "Look, I didn't join you in that game just to see if I could gain a couple extra yuans. I wanted to get to know you—find out what your problem is."

"Your out of your mind," I rolled my eyes again, "I don't got a problem..." I said firmly. "But if you claim to have one, let's hear it."

He sat back in his seat as he chugged down his shot of tequila and sighed, "If that's how you want it... Ten years ago, I worked a full-time shift at the docks unloading cargo from ships. I usually didn't get home till about seven at night. My wife and I had been married for only two years, and we were expecting our first child. But one night, while I was at work, a waterbender broke into our apartment..."

I didn't like where this was going. I started to think, _Maybe we have something in common._

He broke eye contact, "When I got home that night, I found the apartment torn up. All our valuable possessions were gone. We'd been robbed, but that wasn't the worst part. I found her body in our room, covered in blood. He had killed her; slashed her throat open..."

I remembered that murder. Sokka mentioned it one night when he got back from work. He said that they found the guy, some lowlife in need of money living in an alley not far from there.

My eyes drifted to the side, "I lost my wife about five years ago. She wasn't murdered, but..." I couldn't bring myself to say the rest.

"A lot of bastards in this city don't get it, do they? They think that our methods of coping are irrational."

I thought back on my last week in the Fire Nation, when Zuko discovered my addiction. He said that I was being unreasonable, and that I was throwing my life away. What life? I had no life without Katara. If it hadn't been for her, I would have never mastered the elements, I would have never became a fully-realized Avatar, and I never would have helped create the United Republic of Nations.

"You're telling me," I retorted before ordering another whiskey. "I left the Fire Nation because one of my 'friends' tried cutting me off from alcohol, and now I'm trying to avoid my brother-in-law. "

He shook his head in displeasure, "Alcohol is your only resort?" he questioned.

I shrugged, "The nicotine in cigarettes helps a bit, too. There something wrong with that?"

"No, I just thought that by now you would have heard about the other resorts available in this city," Kazuto began to lead the conversation.

I eyed him curiously as I lean forward, "What other resorts?"

He cautiously looks around for a reason I couldn't fathom. He reached into his coat pocket and took out his carton of cigarettes. I continued to eye him quizzically as he took out a small stick that looked like a normal cigarette, but the tips were pointed, like it had been twisted. He casually slid it towards me.

"What is this?" I demanded as I put my hand over it, catching the impression that this wasn't a public product.

He leaned towards me, "It's got a couple street names, but I like to call it an 'antidepressant'," he whispered softly.

I immediately caught on to what he was referring. My eyes widened slightly in shock, "You carry around drugs? You know that's illegal, don't you?"

He scoffed, "Illegal to those who don't understand how helpful it is. I tried to commit suicide last year, but thanks to this stuff, my life's become five times easier."

_Easier_, I questioned. _Maybe... maybe this stuff will make the dreams go away?_ I contemplated as I thought back on the pain-inflicting dreams. _But the island is full of Acolytes. What if someone found it? If they were as honorable as I believed them to be, they wouldn't hesitate to turn me in._

I slid the drug back over to Kazuto, shaking my head. "Sorry, Kazuto... But I don't do drugs."

The man rolled his eyes, "Look, why don't you just take this one as a trial run, no charge whatsoever. If you are sure you don't want anymore, no problem. But if you do, just say the word," he tried to persuade me.

All of a sudden, I saw our waitress come forth with more of our drinks. Without giving it anymore thought, I quickly snatched the drug out from the middle of the table. What was I thinking? Was I seriously considering to become a drug addict? Maybe I just didn't want Kazuto to get caught with it... Either way, I was now in possession of an illegal drug.

"Here are your drinks," the waitress says as she sets down two glasses of whiskey on rocks.

"Thanks," I responded as I proceeded to take out a couple yuans from my wallet.

"I got it," said Kazuto, handing the woman a twenty. "Could you also get us a couple shots of vodka?"

"Right away," she responded.

Once I was sure she wasn't within distance to hear me, I turned back to Kazuto, "Before I even consider lighting this thing at all, what the hell is it?"

"Cannabis..." he answered.

I was blank. I'd never heard of a cannabis. I continued to gaze at him with no change of expression, signaling that I needed further explanation..

He rolled his eyes in slight annoyance, "It's marijuana; you know: pot, weed, reefer, whatever you wanna call it."

I made a contemplative sigh, "All right, I'll give it a try..."

He smiled in satisfaction, "Good... but if you get caught..." his expression changed and his face tightened firmly with a serious look in his eyes, "...you better not sell me out."

I became a bit uneasy as I nodded in agreement and hid the joint in my cigarette carton. Since that seemed to be the ideal hiding place for Kazuto, I considered it one as well. But still... This wasn't just a bottle of liquor. This was an illegal product being smuggled in from all sorts of farms in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation. Moreover, Sokka and the rest of the Council weren't taking this stuff lightly. When he first heard of all types of drugs appearing in the city, he put together a special task force to stop people from distributing them. But then again, that was about eight years ago, and for all I know, they haven't come any closer to stopping it.

Moments later the waitress returned with our recently ordered drinks. I got to know Kazuto a bit better. He'd been living in Republic City since his honeymoon with his wife ended. They used to live in Makapu Village, and apparently it was Aunt Wu who had introduced them about sixteen years ago.

We drank our shots of vodka, and I immediately noticed the strong buzz it caused in me. We ordered another couple shots of vodka, becoming overwhelmed by the alcohol content. By now we were sure to be completely intoxicated. I don't remember much after that. God knows whatever Kazuto and I did. Before I even knew it, I was sitting alone at the front counter with a bottle of whiskey in my hand. My head lay there on the counter, whereas the rest of my body just slumped forward. My arms were completely motionless. I thought that maybe I had passed out and that I was just now waking up.

I heard the dropping of footsteps approach me. I couldn't hear anything else besides that. The room was completely dark other than a couple lights hanging just over the counter. I assume it was closing time, but I couldn't move a muscle in my body. If I tried, I could probably sleep here all through the night and not even realize it till morning.

Now the footsteps stopped, and a shadow of darkness swept over me and a female voice shattered the silence. "Sir? Sir, are you awake?

I might as well have been passed out. All those drinks had drowned me in a pool of fatigue and nausea. If I even tried to get up, I'd probably fall flat on my face.

I heard another voice enter the room. "Pardon me, but I'm looking to see if my friend is here."

I recognized that voice, but my extreme drunkenness made it impossible to match it up with the owner's face.

The footsteps began again, but this time they were leaving. "This may be him over here, but I can't be sure."

"Thanks," the voice said and the patter of footsteps began again.

Each and every sound made my head ache. I decided that if I went to sleep right now, I wouldn't have to endure it any longer.

"Hmph... Haven't seen that arrow in a while," the voice said as its owner loomed over my body, "Long time no see, buddy."

I must know this person. Not only had the voice become more familiar, but even the woman who had been trying to deduce whether I was passed out or not didn't even notice the arrow on my forehead.

I didn't want to be bothered, especially by someone I knew. I managed to gain some control over my empty hand and proceeded to stick out my middle finger.

"Not the response I was hoping for..." he murmured. "Come on, Aang. Is that really how you greet your big brother-in-law?"

_Big brother-in-law?_ I questioned in my head. _Oh, God no..._

It was Sokka. Now the match was definite. Out of all the people in the world, why'd it have to be him? I managed to pick my head up from off the counter.

He crossed his arms, "You know, I invite you to dinner and hope that you would at least say you couldn't make it. Instead you have Anil search the entire island only to deduce that you're nowhere to be found, and then he has to come to my house to tell me so. And then I have to miss out on dinner with my own family to scour through dozens of bars just to find you."

_You're own family? All you got is a wife who can't have children..._

"I was busy..." I managed to respond.

I didn't see it, but I knew he was rolling his eyes, "'Busy...' Well, I didn't know that getting drunk was such a time-consuming activity."

"Screw you..."

He sighed, "Alright, come on. Let's get you home," he said as he removed the bottle of alcohol from my hand and proceeded to throw my arm over his neck, pulling me onto my feet. Like I said, I could barely move my body, so most of the time we were wobbling from left to right from the difference in balance.

Eventually we made it outside, where Sokka sat me inside an ostrich-horse-drawn carriage. I found myself laying down across the seats, while fatigue and nausea overwhelmed me. Just moments later, my body jerked backwards as we took off. The world grew darker and dead silence took over. My aching head and exhaustion finally took the controls and I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

**Well, there's chapter three. We'll be getting more into the Aang/Kya plot in the next chapter, for those who are wondering. I tried to get more into Aang's personality and how he's changed, but still trying not to completely destroy Aang's true personality, so that he's not out of character. **

**I also hope that this chapter receives more reviews than the last, and hope that you guys can give me a little insight onto what you think I need to work on, okay?**

**Please read and review, and all that other stuff. **


	4. The Pain Never Dies

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar**

**Sorry this chapter was so late guys. School has started back and I must maintain an A-C average or else I can't write, and teachers LOVE giving us sophomores more work to prove that freshman year was only the beginning of the hard work that was to come. Not only that, as some of you may or may not know, I have an Attention Disorder, which makes writing after school rather than during a bit more difficult.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 4:  
****The Pain Never Dies**

_The illuminating glow of the crescent moon seeped into our room from the open window, allowing the cool February breeze to flow past our skins. Kya was three months old, and Katara and I had just laid her down for bed. Our little joy had certainly made the day as enjoyable as her little mind could imagine. She certainly wore Momo out, as he had fallen asleep in Kya's gentle grasping arms. Now there they lay in the crib, sleeping soundly dreaming peaceful dreams till they awaken to a new day of joy. But the day wasn't just filled with our daughter's happiness, but ours as well. Seeing our daughter happy...well, that was enough to make us happy. But every day had to come to an end, and we had to force ourselves from watching our daughter sleep any longer._

_I rested my hand atop hers and gave it a gentle squeeze._

_She turned to me with a puzzled look on her face; like I had just yanked her out of the most blissful daydream she could imagine._

"_We should follow her lead and head to bed ourselves," I said to her, muscling up an encouraging smile. "I have to get up extra early if I'm going to make it to Ba Sing Se by tomorrow night."_

_Her eyes trailed away back to our sleeping daughter. "I wish you didn't have to go..." she said in a soft dismay before returning to me, "Can't you just send Anil in your place?"_

_Me, Sokka, Zuko, Hakoda and Arnook were all meeting Kuei in Ba Sing Se the day after tomorrow. It was part of this arrangement we all made after that whole conflict during the Harmony Restoration Movement. After the Movement was discontinued and Zuko and I founded the United Republic of Nations, we put together an act where all the world's government leaders would meet twice a year—once in the beginning February and again in the beginning of November—to discuss worldly concerns and other subjects of business. Iroh would also make an appearance as one of the Order of the White Lotus' leaders if a certain situation called for it. In the last fifteen years, we've only called in Iroh about once or twice._

"_So do I, but these things are necessary in order to keep the peace," I tried to reassure her. "And you know that if I could send Anil, I would. But I'm the only member of the Air Nomads left, and moreover, I'm the Avatar. It's my job to help maintain the only period of peace since the War."_

_I meant for it sound like I was trying to remain as committed to my Avatar duties as I was to my duties as a husband and father. But I was just as depressed about leaving as she was. Kya was born only three months ago and I wasn't any ready to leave her than I was her mother. Because these meetings were organized so that the world's leaders could meet and solve any problems, I had to leave Katara here because she wasn't a world leader. Sure, she had Suki and all the female Acolytes, but she and I both knew that being apart was like living in an empty world. The only time I didn't have to go to one of those meetings was the past November when Katara was still very pregnant. But that was the only exception. They all understood that with a baby on the way, it wasn't the best time to be traveling and leaving her alone. But now I had to leave both her and Kya alone, and it made me feel ashamed._

_She tried her best to make an understanding smile, "I know, and I respect you for that. It's just..." she drifted back to our daughter, "...I hate being without you; you know that," she continued before turning to look into my eyes with love, "I guess I should look on the bright side: I'll have a piece of you right here with me."  
_

_I didn't understand at first. I thought she was talking about the island or the Air Acolytes at first, until I saw her glance at our daughter—the combination mine and Katara's love in the most precious form._

_I continued to smile at her with assurance. "Come on, let's go to bed," I told her, linking her hand with mine as we strolled over to our king-sized bed, eventually parting ways when our arms would no longer reach the other. We then undressed into our sleeping attire. Katara wore an orange and yellow silk night robe—courtesy of her loving husband—while I undressed into a dark, almost Fire Nation red, orange pair of shorts. Now it was time to head to sleep. We climbed under the sheets and rested our heads against our pillows, ready for a good night's sleep._

_Or at least I was..._

_Not even five seconds after we had laid down I began to feel her fingers walk up my arm and to my shoulder, finally walking up my head until is reached my scalp, where she then began the slide her index finger up and down the middle of my tattoo as she came closer towards me. This was her way of getting the mood started. I knew where she was going with this._

_She began to plant light kisses on my cheek while I just lied there, continuing to try and seek sleep._

_Apparently she saw that as a sign of resilience, and suddenly climbed over on top of my and straddled my hips, caressing my cheeks as she pressed her lips against mine. I wanted to resist, but I could never resist her lips. Passion took over and my arms wrapped around her waist and I pulled her against my body as we kissed with all our passion. She had that seductive look in her eye when we finally had to break away for breath. It was too alluring, and I almost gave it. But I couldn't, or rather, I didn't want to. Not just yet... But even so, I couldn't show it with my facial expressions._

_When Katara caught her breath, she leaned down and began to kiss my neck, sucking on the skin and almost making it impossible to resist her while her hands ran up and down my chest. I admit I was lured into the passionate lust as well, running my hand down to her butt and squeezing it, causing her to moan in pleasure. My free hand rubbed against her back as I nibbled on her earlobe, resulting in throaty moans running against my neck as she continued to suck on the skin. The hand that had been grasping her butt began to rub it as well, resulting in more pleasurable moans. She must have realized that I wasn't receiving as much pleasure from her as she was me, because she transitioned from my neck to my lips, darting her tongue into my mouth and brushing it against my own. She pressed herself harder against me, and I could feel her breasts pressed against the upper portion of my chest._

_I couldn't help but give into the lust. I flipped us over, causing her to yelp softly as I now laid on top of her, staring into her crystal blue eyes. One of my hands gripped the back of her head, crashing our lips together and wrestling our tongues while my other hand went to fondle her left breast. My actions nearly made the left side of her robe slide off, and before I knew it, our hips were grinding against one another, releasing passionate throaty moans from our linked lips. We were heading for the limit—the limit I was reluctant to reach until a certain amount of time had passed._

_My left hand had begun to remove her robe from her shoulders when I finally found the strength to resist._

_I disconnected our lips instantly. "Stop..." I said in a gasp, breathing heavily._

_She stared at me, puzzled, "What's wrong? I thought—I thought we were going to make love?" she said in between heavy breaths, making me feel guilty for my decision._

"_We were..." I told her, "...but..." I sighed, rolling off of her so that I now lay beside her. I had succeeded to revealing a portion of her breast, seeing as how she then proceeded to cover it with a look of dismay. I continued to breathe a bit heavy, but not as much because of my airbender-enhanced lungs._

"_But what?" she questions with disappointment in her voice and her eyes staring at the ceiling, obviously more than just disappointed. She turned her head towards me, "Don't you want to make love to me, though? We haven't done it in almost a year..." her voice began to trail off as she turned back to the ceiling. "I thought that, with me not being pregnant with Kya anymore, we would finally... you know..."_

_Now I really began to feel guilty. "Of course I do. Next to marrying you and having a child, making love to you is the greatest thing I've ever done with you!"_

"_Then why don't you want to now?" she questioned, rolling onto her side and propping up her head with her elbow jabbed into the pillow._

_I sighed, knowing I'll have to tell her. "For years we tried to get you pregnant, Katara. When we found out Suki couldn't have children, and she and Sokka had been trying for just about as long as we had been, we almost thought that you couldn't have children either. There were nights I heard you crying in the bathroom, and it broke my heart. But...that night that we made Kya, it wasn't even for the purpose of getting you pregnant! It was just pure pleasure, and before we knew it, you were pregnant," I explain as I keep my eyes locked on hers._

"_But what does that have to do with making love now? Kya's born, and she's over there in her crib with your pet lemur in a sleeper-hold...literally!" she cried quietly as she gestured a hand towards the crib on the other side of the room._

_My eyes trail away from hers as I contemplate my reply. "Kya is only three months old, Katara; if we made love tonight, and just so happened to get you pregnant again, Kya would be only twelve months old by the time you give birth to another child."_

"_Is that so wrong?" she questions, puzzled._

"_No," I answered quickly, "It's just... What would that say to Kya? I mean, I know you and your brother are only a year apart, but..." I sighed again; knowing I wasn't going to make a real good point; I took a deep breath and started again, "I want to spend as much of my life as I can watching her grow up. If we have another child already, then we'll have to keep up with them both, and of course, the younger one will need more attention for the time being. It could send a bad message to Kya and..." I paused, not knowing how to continue. I just sighed again in defeat, rolling onto my side so that I was no longer facing her, "I'll come clean with you: It's for a selfish reason. I-I want our children to be spaced apart; not born one after another..."_

_After I said that, it felt like hours of dead silence had passed by, and I was sure that Katara had gone to sleep disappointed in me for stating that we would pay more attention to one child than the other. We had turned away from each other, our backs facing one another as we stared at the walls. But out of nowhere, I felt her lips press softly against my cheek._

"_I love you," she said, wrapping her arm around me and pulling herself against me, resting her head in the crook of my neck._

_I turned over and returned the kiss, throwing my arm over her curved body as I slid closer. Now we were facing one another, our noses just centimeters apart, looking into each other's eyes, remembering the day we first met, and the many great times and hardships that followed..._

* * *

Light shined at my now awakened body and blinded my vision as my eyelids popped open, tearing me away from a highly-desired fantasy. Still half asleep, I managed to drift to my left, stupidly and remorsefully expecting to see her there beside me, sleeping soundly in her nightgown. But there was nothing except a plain brown wall. I made a stupid move... For one thing, the bed was designed for only a single user. If two were to try and share it, they'd have to press their bodies against one another. I guess a part of me was hoping that I could still be doing that with her... But that dream, it was different than all the others. Normally my dreams consisted of spending time with both Katara _and_ Kya, but this one seemed to mainly focus only on Katara and me.

I guess I shouldn't be thinking into this too much. After all, these dreams felt completely real.

It wasn't until now that I realized that my brain was being slammed against my skull by a pair of steel fists. I sat up in the bed, rubbing my temples as I grumbled tiredly. I hadn't noticed at the moment that I was completely dressed in my pajamas, but that I had no recollection of changing. That's when I became clear of the previous night and where this great pain in my cranium was coming from. It had to be a hangover, because the only thing I remember for sure is sharing a couple shots with Kazuto, and now I was in my bed, dressed in pajamas, with no recollection of even leaving the bar.

"I'm guessing you slept well..."

The voice came from out of nowhere, but I recognized it immediately.

I turned to see Sokka sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, leaning forward with his arms rested against his legs and fingers enjoined, and a look of patience on his face.

I groaned in disgust, covering my face with my hands in attempt to ease down the incredible force that was smashing against the insides of my head, "How did you get in here?" I demanded with an annoyed tone.

"Well, there's this great invention called a door..."

_Smartass..._

I rub my eyes to get the eye-boogers out, sniffling softly, "No, I mean who gave you permission to be here?"

I heard the chair creak as he sat back, "If my memory recalls correctly, you did...a long time ago. I believe your exact words were, 'anyone's welcome on Air Temple Island!' Or was that just you being modest?"

_I could really go without this smartass attitude of his..._

I sniffled again; throwing the covers from off my body and taking a stand that made my vision go black for a short period of time. I slumped over to the desk on the other side of the room, opening my bag and digging through it. I pulled out a shirt and some slacks and gestured them at the councilman.

"You wanna watch me get dressed or would you mind waiting outside?" I said with much rudeness.

He reached under the chair and grabbed a pile of folded orange and yellow clothes and tossed them towards me, "Long as you dress into these."

I caught the clothes in mid-air, immediately knowing that they were—or had been—my regular Air Nomad attire.

I knew that fighting it would be pointless, so I plainly retorted, "Fine..."

Once he left, I put on the change of clothes. It had been quite a while since I had worn these... I believe it was only a few weeks after leaving this city that I changed my fashion sense. I have to admit, however, that I forgot just how appropriate it felt to wear these. A soft curve took over my lips as I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe... maybe I should start wearing these again?

I slid open the doors to my room to find Sokka waiting just outside. My curving lips turned upside-down as I walked right past him.

"Don't you have work today?" I asked stubbornly as I plotted an escape.

Before I could even get four feet away from him, he was standing right beside me. "I took the day off. Thought you and I could spend a little time together; you know, catch up."

"There's nothing to 'catch up' on... So why don't you just do us both a favor and leave," I inadvertently said aloud.

_Dammit_, I curse to myself. Knowing Sokka, he definitely won't leave me alone now. Odds are he already sees through my disguise, so it wouldn't matter anyway. If I had to guess, I doubt it was Anil who picked me up from that bar last night.

"Sure there is!" he responded cheerfully, "Come on, let's get some breakfast."

I felt like rolling my eyes, but something kept me from doing so and I was tempted to just go along with it. I found myself following him to the Dining Hall where all the other Acolytes were eating their breakfasts. The moment I walked into the room, I was greeted with many friendly smiles and head bows. I just simply tilted my head down a small bit before sitting on my knees at one of the tables in the middle of the room. One of the Acolytes approached us with bowls of some type of egg salad.

Sokka immediately began to consume the meal. Not too surprising... I, on the other hand, was pretty reluctant to eat with this raging headache.

"Try it!" my brother-in-law insisted, "Tastes pretty good!"

What use was there in avoiding the consumption of food? It was just food, and it would probably help with this raging pain. I picked up my chopsticks and proceeded to take a bite. It tasted pretty good! It was definitely better than any other breakfast I've had in a long while. But then again, the female Air Acolytes were always masters at cooking, and so were some of the males, although, the look on Sokka's face made me a bit suspicious. I couldn't explain it, but he seemed a bit—how should I say?—expectant, as if he were waiting for me to make a comment.

"So...? How do you like it?" he asked in hopes of some kind of review.

I'm questioning his intentions at this point, but I simply answered, "It's pretty good."

A confident, proud smile shined off his face, "I would hope so! I made it myself!"

I nearly choked on the leaves of lettuce that were slithering down my throat. _Sokka... cooks? _Normally Sokka would be one to devour food. I've never been able to imagine him preparing it himself, especially in such large quantities!

But I tried to maintain my attitude. For some strange reason, I don't feel like giving him the satisfaction of another compliment on his cooking. Just that one seemed to be one too many...

I continued my meal, keeping a calm, blank face, "Since when did you learn how to cook?"

"Well, when I can get off early, I like to come home and kick Suki out of the kitchen and prepare dinner myself. I started to feel that Suki was doing too much around the house while I was at work, so I thought that maybe I can learn to cook myself and make dinner for the three of us."

_'The three of us..._' Those four words smacked me with a feeling of guilt and depression.

I felt myself slump forward a bit in reaction, "Oh... I see..." was all I could say.

Sokka was clearly remaining as cheerful as he could. "Yep... I made something similar for Suki and Kya this morning."

That caught my attention. My half-lidded, bored, and drowsy eyes shot open. I had just realized that that was the first time in a long while that I had heard her name said aloud.

"You know, her birthday is coming up real soon..." he reminded me.

I don't think I've ever referred to that day as "Kya's birthday." As far as I can remember, it's only been the day that she was taken from me. Now I knew what Sokka was trying to do. He was trying to guilt-trip me; remind me that I've practically given up Kya to him, and that I haven't seen her since she was only a week old. I wasn't going to let him get through to me, though. I made my decision. It's what was best for both me and Kya. She could grow up with a real family that included both a mother and father, filled with love and support. And I could stop myself from becoming a single father, forced to raise a child that he himself knows he cannot raise well. If I even tried, odds are she'd grow up troubled because she was raised without a mother, and a father that could never understand her like a mother would. I would fail... I didn't need to test that to be sure.

I tried to continue with my meal, but now thoughts of Kya were popping up in my head, making the headache become exponentially stronger. I could hear her cries in my back of my mind, and see that crying child held in my arms on the night she was born. Katara's final words echoed in my head: "Please...take care of Kya, please...take care of Kya, please...take care of Kya..." I couldn't stand it! It was too much!

Before I could even take note of it, my eyes were slowly flooding with water. I tried to hold them back. How could I, though? With these images replaying in my mind, it was like reliving that night all over again, numerous times in a never-ending cycle of repeats.

My chopsticks rested in the bowl leaning on the curve of the circular dishware as I covered my face with my hands, trying to regain control over my emotions. The room became dead silent with the exception of my soft sobs.

"I… I'm sorry, Aang. I didn't mean for you—" Sokka eventually said with remorse.

"Sokka…" I began, wiping my eyes clean of the tears, only for them to resurface seconds later, "…just… leave, please," I sniffled softly, "I'll… I'll come over later, okay? I just… need some time to—"

"I understand," he replied with a soft, almost sad voice. I could tell by the look on his face that he must have been feeling the same thing I was, but unlike me, he had better control over how it was displayed.

I was lying, of course, about coming over. He practically succeeded in putting me on a guilt-trip, or at the very least, a trip of grief. And since I knew him as well as I did, I knew that he would be seeing this as guilt, and he would feel compelled to trust anything I said—which he did. Just moments later, he and all the other Acolytes left the room, giving me my privacy. In a way, I guess you could say it was all an act. The tears and emotions were real; however, everything else might as well have been staged. I wanted to be alone, and I knew just how to do it. I admit... it is kind of sick to use such grief and use it as an advantage to keep others out of my business, but it was certainly an effective strategy, if nothing else.

* * *

I eventually found myself on the other side of the island, near the bison caves. The bison should have already been fed, so I wouldn't have to worry about anyone following me down here. I needed to be alone, and I needed booze. But I no long had any money to purchase it with. I knew that I couldn't have spent a whole six hundred yuans at a single bar on a single night. I was quick to come to a conclusion—Sokka had confiscated the money so that I couldn't go off and get drunk again. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Sokka's no idiot… He probably knew that even if I promised to come over—like I had just done—I would get out of it by going and drinking myself to sleep or God knows what else.

Either way, he hadn't confiscated my smokes. I was a bit surprised by that. Maybe he just didn't find them. Good thing, too, because if he had opened them and found that joint I got from Kazuto, I'd be in some real trouble. Since I couldn't get any alcohol, I decided that the nicotine would be a worthy substitute.

I made sure I was alone, glancing in every direction. Not a soul in sight… I proceeded to flip over the lid of the carton, popping up a single cigarette. I hesitated to grasp it, staring at the tipped roll of marijuana. I wonder… Would this drug truly work better than alcohol and cigarettes ever could? I contemplated on whether or not I should try and find out. I felt a strong urge to just light it and see for myself. But a part of me was screaming at me, questioning why I was even thinking over this with so much consideration. Eventually, I made a decision. I proceeded to take the cigarette I had popped out of the carton. I placed the tip on my lips and snapped my fingers.

All of a sudden, I heard a low, almost menacing growl that nearly made my heart jump out of my chest. I turned to the source and saw Appa, my trusty and beloved sky bison. Only now had I realized that I haven't seen him since I got back. I decided to ignore him and once again snapped my fingers, producing a small flame. Appa growled once more, this time much angrier.

I sent him an annoyed look as the flame disappeared, "What's your problem?" I demanded, removing the cigarette from my lips. "You've been fed, haven't you?"

The hairy bison groaned softly, lying down on its belly and keeping its gaze locked onto me. I made a "humph" of annoyance and just put paper-wrapped tobacco back on my lips. I once again made an attempt to light it. Instead of growling, this time Appa blew a soft breeze of wind at me from his mouth that sent the cigarette flying over into one of nearby bushes.

I spun around, "Hey!" I snapped. "What did you do that for?"

He just snorted in disapproval. Knowing him for so long, I knew exactly why. The old version of me would have never smoked, and Appa hadn't known that I had changed some of my ways. He didn't want me to light it, but it wasn't his choice.

I scoffed, "Things change, Appa. _People_ change… and you're just going have to accept that," I told him, proceeding to take out yet another cigarette as I walked away from his stable. I could tell that his eyes had followed me until I was out of sight.

* * *

As the day continued on, I found that I couldn't go any longer without booze. The nicotine wasn't enough. I could still hear her voice replaying over and over again in my head. I was going crazy. I needed that voice to stop! I knew I needed to obtain money somehow. I couldn't just give up because Sokka had taken my money. Besides, I had a safe that I kept in my office in the main portion of the temple.

_You remember how I told you all that the government would always send me money for my Avatar duties? Well, let's just say that they pay their Avatars handsomely well. Anyways, I knew that we wouldn't need all that money; at least, not anytime soon. So what I did was stash the majority of it in that safe. There were only two people in the world that knew the where it was hidden and its combination: Katara and I, so not even Sokka could get a hold of that money even if he tried. I needed to be sure that safe could never be broken into. Safes are usually made of steel, and with Toph's Metalbending Academy and police force of metalbenders, one of them could easily break into it. I could never allow that to happen. The money that was stashed in there, it was there for a purpose and one purpose only. When I passed away, the government would stop sending money, because it was given as a sort of "thanks" for performing my Avatar duties. Even if Katara is my wife, they wouldn't send her money for no reason whatsoever. It was nothing personal... just business. So if I were to be killed or one day die unexpectedly, I needed to be sure that the Acolytes, Katara, and any children we may have had would be financially secure for a long time, and by the time any of it ran out, hopefully, they'd find a new way to make ends meet. There must be at least 500,000 yuans in that safe by now. And like I said, I could never allow anyone to break into it, not even law enforcement. So I had the safe made out of platinum—a metal so pure that apparently even Toph couldn't bend it. Besides Katara and me, the only person who knew about the safe was the metalworker who constructed it. I know that you may be thinking that I may be a little overprotective over it, but this was the money that would keep my wife from having to deal with something like financial stability when I passed on, and if any of our children decided to go to a university, we'd be able to pay for it._

I went up to my office, suddenly becoming very nostalgic as I entered the room. There was a rug placed across the middle of the room, with a chair placed in the corner beside the doorway. My desk was placed near the back of the room, just in front of a circular bookcase that held several books and scrolls. There were times that I had to spend countless hours in here, going through all sorts of stressful and complicated documents. As I stared into the room, an old memory of mine began to come to life before my eyes. An almost transparent figure in my form, only about twelve years younger, sat at the desk with a pile of papers stacked high, as well as multiple papers from that very stack laid out across the desk. I sat there with a feathered pen in my hand, my elbow resting against the edge as I rubbed my temple in frustration.

What came next was a strange sight. An almost transparent Katara, who was instead seven years younger (since she died five years ago), walked right through me and into the room with a small tray carrying a small cup of tea and a bowl of rice in her hands. As she came around to my side of the room, she used a single hand to wipe the papers out from in front of me and replaced them with the tray.

"_Hey, I was reading those!" _my younger self snapped.

She didn't seem fazed by my tone, placing a kiss on the top of my smoothly-shaved head as she rested a hand on my shoulder.

"_You need to eat..."_ she told me affectionately.

I shook my head and slid the tray away and swiping a document back in front of me, _"I don't have time to eat; I told you that. I need to get this stuff done."_

As always, she wouldn't take that as an answer. She once again slid the papers away and replaced them with the food. _"There's no way you can work on an empty stomach."_

"_Katar__a, I don't have time! You know that when I have piles of work to do I need to be left alone! I appreciate the consideration, but I don't need you interrupting what is already nerve-racking,"_ I snapped once again, this time much harsher and irritated than before.

I tried to get back to my work, but she grabbed my shoulders and pulled them against the back of the chair. I tried to pull away, but she gave me a firm "stay" and I gave in. Her soft, tender, beautiful hands began to rub up and down my shoulders and collarbones, making me become very relaxed. I lied back in my seat, my head swaying left and right from the relief of stress. It continued like that for a few minutes until she caressed my chin, pulling my head back so that I was staring up at her to receive a loving kiss from her lips to mine.

"_Feel like eating now?"_ she asked so softly it was practically in a whisper.

I smiled and nodded, _"Yeah... I'm sorry."_

I remembered having several of these moments with her. They were practically the same thing over and over again—me busy, her trying to help me, me snapping at her for it, and her eventually relaxing me. I'm surprised that we—or actually, I—never learned to just accept she was trying to do. To this very day, I find it amazing that she never got tired of it. She always just went along with it and insisted that she do her best to relax me. No matter what I said... she never got mad, she never got annoyed, she never even said a word that would make me feel ashamed of it. I wish she had, though. Maybe then it wouldn't have happened so frequently.

With the memory faded away, I close the door behind me and proceeded to find the safe. I approached the bookshelf and removed an entire shelf of books and placed them on the desk. Then, I removed one of the shelves itself and set it aside. By removing the books and shelf, I revealed a dark-brown, pry resistant recessed door with concealed hinges that was built into the wall when I constructed the temple. On the middle-right side of the door was a small keyhole. I turned around and opened one of the drawers in my office desk and scuffled around until I found a small brown envelope. I opened it and found a small key.

_I told you that I was protective of this safe..._

Once I found the key to the compartment, I unlocked the door and opened it to find the platinum safe. I twisted the dial, entering the complex combination I had set for it over fifteen years ago. As I did this, I remembered my whole reason for even having this safe made. Now it seemed I wasted all that money on the platinum for nothing…

The lock clicked as I entered the final digit. I grabbed the small handle and pulled it downwards, opening the small door to the safe. Inside were piles of yuans stacked all the way to the roof of this box of protection. I don't believe I've ever been is such desperation for money in my life as I grabbed single stack of bills that rounded out to about 200 yuans. I needed no more than that. Once done, I put everything back the way it should be. It looked as though nothing had been touched, and even the books were placed back on the shelf in the same position they had been before, with one book leaning against the side of the shelf's wall.

* * *

Hours had passed. The sun was a bright; blinding orange as it tinted the sky with that very same orange, only weaker, with small traces of blue and purple joining it to give a perfect, beautiful sunset. If only I had taken the time to enjoy it. Instead, after withdrawing 200 yuans from my personal "bank", I roamed around the city aimlessly with a newly purchased bottle of whiskey in my hand, hidden inside a brown paper bag.

I must have allowed that bottle to last until sundown, since I had bought it near noon and it was already sundown. A new record! Usually it took me three whole bottles. I must be getting better at this…whatever _this _is.

Over the course of the day, I debated with myself several times on whether to light that joint hidden in my pack of cigarettes. If it was any consolation, I still hadn't. I thought to myself, _Maybe__ I can find Kazuto at the bar and get him to take this thing back_.

So that's what I did.

I went to the very same bar just around the time I had the night before. I promised myself to not start drinking while I was there. If I started, I probably wouldn't be able to stop. Not in this state of emotion. I was lucky to even be around it all and control it.

But… that didn't last long.

I never took the time to change out of my Air Nomad attire before I left. The moment I got hold of that money, I might as well have been a homeless man who just won the lottery. I had roamed around the city wearing those clothes, chugging down alcohol on the streets in front of random wanderers. They may have been random, but I certainly wasn't. How many men do you see wearing Air Nomad attire while chugging down alcohol from a paper bag? They could have considered the fact that I was a troubled Acolyte, or figured it out altogether.

It's not like mine and Katara's marriage was a secret, and neither was her death. The entire city knew of the happily married couple who were the Avatar and daughter of the Southern Water Tribe chief. When she died, it wouldn't take long for the whole city, the nation, and possibly, even the world to hear of the news that the Avatar who saved all their lives had just become a widow.

I didn't even spend twenty minutes in that bar when I began to hear my name in a nearby conversation. It was like being in that Fire Nation school I had enrolled in for only a few days all over again, watching them all cast glances before whispering back to their classmates, except it wasn't a whole student body and instead a couple of surprisingly sober bums gossiping.

"That guy over there—sitting at the bar counter—don't you know who he is?" one of them asked another.

"How should I know?" he asked. "All those Acolytes look the same to me…"

"Maybe so, but do all those Acolytes have arrows on their hands?"

_Dammit_, I thought, twirling around in the barstool so that I now faced the numerous bottles of liquor and glassware that were placed on shelves against the wall. My hair may have been long enough to cover my arrow from a distance, but the arrows on my hands were left totally exposed. It was no doubt that the man had seen them.

"Dude, you can't be serious…" the man continued with question. "Everyone knows that Avatar Aang is a monk, the last of his kind. Implying that that's him over there, in a freaking bar, is like saying that turtle-ducks can fly. Besides, everyone knows he left Republic City five years ago, and no one's seen him since."

"Do you even know why he left?"

"Who doesn't? His wife died in her sleep, probably poisoned."

"That's not what I heard…"

I heard the other man sigh irritably, "Okay, smartass… What did you hear?"

_Shut up…_ I mentally warned the other patron, who was storming full-steam-ahead into a conversation that I knew would throw me over the edge.

"Well, you do know that she was, like, eight months pregnant the night she died, right?"

"Common knowledge nowadays…" the other patron said, not seeming amused. "But go on…"

_I wouldn't advise that…_

"I heard that she actually died giving birth. I think I heard it was a daughter. Or was it a son? Either way, some say that after her funeral, he gave his child up to Councilman Sokka—"

"His brother-in-law…?" the other man interrupted.

"Yeah, and as we all know, he left for almost five years. But it looks like he's back…"

"Where'd you hear all this from anyway? How do I know you aren't just pulling my leg?"

_Just make him shut his mouth…_

"This guy I know heard it from one of the healers Avatar Aang had hired."

The man scoffed, "Whatever… Assuming that is what happened, you can't possibly still be thinking that bum over there is Avatar Aang. I mean, just look at his hair—it's all over the place! Avatar Aang's head was always shaven; he'd never let it grow out that much."

"Maybe he's changed…" the gossiper continued. "He lost his wife and gave up his child already—wouldn't surprise me if he started drinking. I'm surprised myself, actually. You'd think that even if he lost his wife, he'd at least give her the courtesy of raising their child. Instead he just ran away…"

By now, I had ordered a shot of vodka. Vodka didn't exactly agree with my system all the time, and after consuming almost two shot-glasses full of it, I wouldn't have much control over what I was about to do next.

I stood up from the bar and began approaching the two patrons who were still carrying on a conversation. By now they were playing a game of darts on the other side of the room. As soon as I got close to them, the gossiper became immediately afraid.

"Looks like you were right about that guy being Avatar Aang," the other man said to his friend. He turned to me, seemingly friendly, "Look, he's an idiot—a guy who loves spreading rumors that aren't true. We had no intention of offending you."

I had no control over myself, and after everything they had said, I didn't really care.

"What gives either of you the right to talk about my wife or her death, or my daughter for that matter?" I demanded darkly.

"But it's true, isn't it?" the gossiper cried out, demanding an answer while pointing a finger at me accusingly.

Using quick speed, I grabbed the man's finger, twisting his arm around to the point where if I twisted anymore, it'd easily break his arm. "Whether it is true or not is none of your business," I said and got a firm grasp on his upper arm, just below the elbow, and his wrist and twirled him around, sending him stumbling backwards and ramming his back into the corner of a pool table.

A couple patrons were playing at that table, and one of them had set their bottle of beer on the corner that I had thrown the guy into. When he was rammed into the corner, he had knocked it over and it spilled all over the green layout, with some of it seeping into the slots the corners. They threw curses at him left and right, but surprisingly, no one took a swing at him. Good… I wanted to do that myself.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, which was stained with dirt, and lifted him off his feet. He was looking into my eyes with fear, and it was clear that he was sorry for what he had said. Too bad he hadn't been earlier.

"I-I'm sorry for what I said; just please don't hurt me!" he pleaded hopefully.

He pulled him closer to my face, "You should have thought about that before!" I then threw him against the wall. His back slammed against it, creating a damaging hole in the plaster. He landed on his hands and knees, groaning softly as his friend came to his aid, asking if he were okay.

"Your friend should learn to use his manners," I said harshly as I proceeded to leave the bar.

The moment I turned around, I immediately heard—or rather felt—a piece of earth being removed from the ground. Using the seismic sensing Toph had taught me, I determined the actions taking place behind me. The man that I had shoved into the wall was an earthbender who decided to exact revenge. He removed a rock from the ground of the building, and given the bottom of it sharp points so that I'd be punctured with small stabs when it made contact with my body. He jabbed the earth forward at rocket speed. But I had already anticipated the trajectory of the object. In one swift motion, I caught and crushed the rock from behind and spun around, forming a flame in my fist that I then shot at my attacker. The flame hit him square in the chest and he was pounded against the wall once again, only this time he fell flat on his face, unconscious, rather than catching himself with his hands and knees.

The friend looked to me with shock and horror. "What have you become?" he asked, his whole body quavering.

I scoffed, "Like you ever really knew me…" I said coldly in his face and turned back around, only to be greeted with several staring, shocked eyes directed at me personally. The whole bar had been frozen in time. Patrons playing pool had their cue sticks in hand, standing straight up in the air beside them, drinkers sat at tables with glasses of whiskey that had barely been touched, and even the bartenders had stopped what they were doing. I scanned the room with my eyes. Each and every set of eyes was either full of surprise or fear, and sometimes even both. It was like they were all waiting for me to move, to move even a single muscle so they could all cower behind something. My drunken self didn't feel any change in emotion. I simply continued forward, snatching a shot of tequila from the bar counters and snapping the glass towards my mouth, sending the alcohol directly down my throat. I breathed out my refreshment in satisfaction as I threw the glass straight to the ground, spreading shards of glass all over the floor.

I threw open the door and left the establishment, leaving behind a crowd of stares.

About five or ten minutes had passed as I drunkenly and aimlessly roamed the streets. I didn't know where I was going or what I was intending to do. I just seemed to be walking just to be walking. That is, until something changed up the night.

All of a sudden, I heard a firm, seriously tone say from behind me, "Avatar Aang, I'm going to need you to come with me."

I knew the nature of his voice. It had come from a law enforcer—one of _Toph's_ law enforcers. It was exactly how she had trained them. "Keep firm and stable. Show them that they have to listen to you now." That's what she would tell them. I was always amazed at how much they respected her. Being trained by her was like buying a one-way ticket to a Hell of pain and aching muscles. Either way, they still formed a great and productive law enforcement program. Too bad I was now one of their targets…

I turned around with a friendly, slightly-drunken smile, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

The officer kept a firm, almost stone expression on his face. He tried to show he had no problem arresting me, but even though his face showed it, his eyes didn't. It was like they were shaking in their sockets. He was utterly nervous, but he tried not to show it. Inside, I was smiling deviously. Getting out of this would be easy.

"I've received a report from dozens of witnesses down the street that you assaulted a civilian and refused to pay for your drinks. I'm sorry, but you'll have to come downtown with me," he said, trying to refrain from allowing his voice to shake.

"Sorry, but I have plans tonight," I lied.

He shook his head, gesturing to the canister on his belt, "Avatar Aang, I won't hesitate to bring you in by force if I must."

I snorted in a mocking way, "That wouldn't be a very good idea," I warned him.

He turned to the canister and attempted launch one of the metal wires towards me. This is when his whole firm attitude began to die on him. His hands began shaking like an earthquake, and all I could hear was the sound of metal slapping against metal as he tried to extend the wires rolled up inside. I practically waited for him to succeed in extending them for at least a whole minute before I simply turned away from him, laughing as I continued to stroll down the street.

I wasn't able to take even four steps before I sensed an attack approaching. The sound of metal scraping against metal made me alert. A single metallic wire shot out of the canister attached to the officer's belt. I quickly spun around, dodging the wire by just an inch as I shot a hand forward, sending a blast of air at the officer that knocked him off his feet.

"I told you that it wouldn't be a good idea…" I mocked him as I laughed arrogantly. I began to turn around when one of the wires wrapped around my left wrist. I shot an angry look at the officer as he proceeded to whip out another wire. I wouldn't let him take me that easily. I fired a small flame at his hands, which made him move them away from the canister to prevent from being burned. I pulled at the wire wrapped around my wrist, trying to throw him off his feet so that the grip would loosen enough that I could slip free. But he had strength—I'll give him that. I pulled and pulled, but he didn't let up. I proceeded to launch another ball of fire before I heard an additional set of voices.

"What's going on over there!" one of them shouted.

"Arrest him," the officer I was struggling with told them.

I shot a look at them. I extended my right hand at them, curling my fingers and swiping my hand across them. The movements created a trail of broken, shattered earth directly in front of them. Before they even had the chance to take note of it, they had already tripped over it and fallen flat on their faces. I then proceeded to launch a ball of fire at the officer in front of me. But using his free hand, he pulled up a wall of earth in front of him, blocking the flame and dispersing it instantly.

Immediately after that, I felt wires wrap around my torso, suspending my arms to my sides. Directly after that, a set of wires wrapped around the lower portion of my legs, pulling them against one another and causing me to lose balance and fall flat on my face. My head turned to the side as it made contact with the pavement. I hit the ground with a soft grunt, opening my eyes to show a raging flame in them.

"You okay?" one of the supporting officers asked the one that had approached me.

"Yeah, fine. Thanks for the backup."

"Do we have an ID on this guy?" the other supporting officer asked.

"Yes; his name is Aang—Avatar Aang."

I heard them both gasp as I struggled to break free of the wires. I mentally cursed Toph for not teaching me how to bend metal, but then I cursed myself for not taking the chance when I had it.

"Are you positive?" the first supporting officer asked.

"If the attire doesn't prove it, it would have to be the fact that he used both air and earthbending against me…" he began, "plus, he has the notable tattoos on his hands and forehead."

"Never in all my years would I have ever imagined having someone like Avatar Aang in custody…" said the second officer in disgrace. "Wait, are those smokes?"

I managed to move my head enough to see the pack of cigarettes that had fallen out of my robes sometime during the struggle lying on the ground just a couple inches away from me.

The responding officer bent down and picked them from off the ground. I immediately became worried, with beads of sweat forming the edge of my hairline. The joint was still hidden inside, and if they so much as opened the package, they'd have to be complete idiots to not notice it. I continued to try and struggle out of the wires' tight grip, but it was futile. I was forced to give in and remain helpless. I watched from the corner of my eye as the man flipped open the package.

He shook his head disgracefully, "Now I'm really disappointed in you, Avatar Aang…"

I rolled my eyes, cursing myself with every word in the book.

"What? What'd you find?" one of the officers asked.

He removed the rolled-up drug from the package. "Marijuana," he answered simply, holding it in his fingers for showcasing.

The first officer sighed, "Well, we better get him down to headquarters. I'm sure Chief Beifong would like a word with him."

I groaned loudly. _Just kill me now…_

* * *

It was a half-hour until midnight, and the main lobby was mostly empty, with only a couple clerks at their desks doing paperwork. Most of the officers were off duty, spending time with their families at home. There were only a number of officers on duty who took hold of the night shift, and most of them were out patrolling at the moment, with only a couple waiting to respond as backup.

The night had been quiet so far. Barely any arrests had been made in the last five hours. The most that had ever came through that door tonight were a couple petty criminals busted for breaking-and-entering. That is… until I arrived in one of their police carriages with my hands resting in my lap. After they had read me my rights and placed me in one of their wagons, they removed the wires from my arms and legs, and replaced them with handcuffs to keep my hands from doing anything irrational, while the second responding officer kept an eye on me with his hands placed close to his canister of metallic wires, ready to launch them at any moment if I made any sudden moves. The box I was being held in was like a small cell. It was made completely of metal, with windows on each side of the room, blocked by steel bars. The only way out of it was the same way in, and only a metalbender could open the door by bending a series of miniature locks concealed inside the door.

We drove for about twenty or so minutes before we came to a stop in front of the police headquarters. I heard the two officers riding in front get out while the guard and I were left alone. The entire ride I had been staring at the floor, but I knew with an utmost certainty that the man sitting directly across from me was eying me with scorn. Could I blame him? I mean, seriously? I was the Avatar, and co-founder of this city, not only that, I prevented an entire country from being destroyed and helped prevent another outbreak of war, and now here I was, arrested for a number of offenses that no one could have anticipated I would commit.

Inside, the two officers found Toph roaming the lobby, just waiting for someone to get busted so she could interrogate them and put them behind bars—if only for a short while, until a trial began.

"Well, Akio... Looks like you actually made an arrest for once," said Toph teasingly.

"Yes, we did. I was first on report and Officer Chan and his partner assisted me when the situation got out of hand."

Toph nodded in approval, "So it sounds like the offenses are assault on an officer and evading arrest, right?"

The officer known of Akio nodded, "His first offense began with an assault on an innocent civilian at a local bar and damaged the property in the process, as well as leaving in a form of robbery by not paying his bill. After assaulting me, Officer Chan and his partner, he tried to evade arrest. After subduing him, we discovered marijuana concealed inside a pack of cigarettes."

Toph seemed impressed by the officers' work. "Well done; not bad for a bunch of rookies such as yourselves. So, have you yet to identify this man?"

"Yes... we have," answered Akio, becoming a bit nervous.

"Well, then, give me his name so I can put it on his record."

"You, uh, might want to reconsider that." It was Officer Chan who had spoken this time.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Just trust me on this one..."

Toph scoffed, "With offenses like these, I'd love to know the name of this sorry sap," she began amusingly before quickly demanding, "So out with it!"

The two officers exchanged glances and Akio sighed nervously. "The culprit's name is... well, it's Avatar Aang," he blurted out quickly, unable to deliver the news slowly.

Toph was practically holding in that old belly laugh of hers when she heard my name come out of his mouth. It took her a moment to pull herself together and retake control of her serious attitude.

"You got to be joking, right? Avatar Aang hasn't even set foot in this city for the last five years. I know him personally, and I can assure you that he'd never commit these types of crimes, or any for that matter."

"We're not joking, chief. It is really him; the tattoos prove it, not to mention his attire."

Toph became questionably silent after that. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling—not that it even made a difference. She remained like that for a while before taking in a deep breath and sighing in an almost annoying way.

"Bring him in and take him to the interrogation room immediately; don't take the time to book him or file a report. I want to have a couple words with him first..."

The two officers bowed respectively to her, "Yes, Ma'am," they said in unison before heading back out to the police carriage I was being held in. They opened the door and ordered me to disembark the carriage. The guard keeping an eye on me followed closely behind as I leaped down out of the miniature cell and onto the ground. The two officers gripped my arms tightly as they "escorted" me into their headquarters.

They escorted me down a narrow hallway. The walls were all blank—no pictures, no plaques, no nothing. It was just a narrow hallway that was like a one-way trip to Toph's world of harsh words and scorning. I have to say that I wasn't looking any more forward to seeing her than I was anybody else from my past. In fact, she would be last in line if I had to form one out of all the people I didn't want to see. Sokka would be right in front of her.

Toph always said she would recognize my "twinkle-toes" anywhere. Well, I guess she still did. When we entered the lobby heading for the interrogation room, she turned in my direction, looking straight at me even though she was blind.

My pace slowed down almost to a halt before the officers shoved me forward and ordered that I continued at the same pace.

The interrogation room was basically a large metal box. The only way to get in or out was to use metalbending. An opening about the size of a doorway slid to the side and into the wall in response to one of the officer's movements. They walked—or rather, pushed—me into the room. There was nothing inside but a steel table and two chairs facing each other, and a single lamp concealed in the ceiling that illuminated the room. There were cuffs attached to the table to keep criminals from doing anything harming to the interrogator and any other person accompanying them in the room. After linking the cuffs together, they removed the other set of handcuffs and took a couple steps back, placing their hands behind their backs.

The wall slid open and immediately closed after Toph stepped in. She directed her attention to the three officers.

"Give us some time alone, you three," she ordered in a respectful manner.

It amazed me how much her attitude had changed in the years since I met her.

She maintained a friendly smile as she sat down across from me. "Nice to see you back in town, Aang. Too bad we couldn't meet on better circumstances..."

"Are you kidding?" I began sarcastically, "I did all of this just so I could see you!"

I frown formed on her face. "So, I heard you were arrested for assault, robbery, damaging property, assaulting an officer, resisting arrest, and possession of marijuana..."

"I wasn't planning on lighting it!" I barked defensively.

"That doesn't matter, Aang. Possession of any illegal drug, whether with the intention of use or not, is punishable by law."

"I remember a time when all you cared about were breaking rules..." I retorted wryly.

"Look, let's just cut to the chase," she began. "I just have one question: What in the hell is the matter with you!" she cried out as she suddenly stood up from her seat, planting her hands hard against the table.

I tilted my head to the side in amusement. I was still a bit intoxicated, though, so it wasn't like it wasn't expected.

Suddenly, a peephole was revealed by the sliding of a metal place as one of the officers peered in.

"Chief, Councilman Sokka is here."

Toph kept her eyes fixated on me, "I'll be out there in a minute..." she responded. The peephole was concealed once again.

"Hm... Looks like Sokka's here to bail me out," I said with a crooked smile.

Toph snorted in doubt, "Just because we're friends, don't think you are going to get off so easily—even if you are the Avatar."

She spun around and exited through the sliding metal plates. Sokka was sitting in the lobby on one of the benches, a sense of tiredness in his eyes. He had received word of the arrest from many of the patrons at the bar I had been at. It was the first place he looked for me, since that was where he found me the previous night. When he saw Toph approaching him, he immediately stood up and proceeded to meet her halfway.

"So what did he do?" he asked with an annoyed tone.

"What, no friendly greeting?"

"Toph, right now, I'm not exactly in a friendly mood. Just tell me..."

She sighed, "He's being held for assaulting a civilian and three officers, robbery, property damage, resisting arrest, and possession of marijuana..."

A flame of anger sparked in Sokka's eyes as he breathed inwards out of aggravation. But it didn't last long as he began to think of the consequences of my actions. He exhaled all the anger in a sigh, "He'll have to spend about two years behind bars with offenses like those..."

The chief shrugged, "Sokka, I'm not worried about the offenses—I can take care of those. It's Aang that's worrying me," she sympathetically said. "This is nothing like him... The smoking, the drinking, and now the acquiring of drugs? What could be going through his head?"

Sokka sent her a disgusted look, as if the answer was obvious. "What happened five years ago is what!"

"But he's dealt with death before, hasn't he? Finding out his entire race had been killed didn't spark this kind of behavior," she stated.

"But he didn't have to watch it happen. He watched Katara die... and so did I; not to mention Suki and my father. But you were nowhere to be found! We couldn't even notify you of what happened until a day later because you were just trying to stay as busy as possible."

Toph placed her hands on her hips, "How was I supposed to know she was going to come a month early! It's not my fault I wasn't there!"

Sokka rubbed his eyes and sighed regrettably, "I know... I'm sorry I keep bringing that up. I just—I get a bit out of hand when that subject comes around."

"I know," said the earthbender, placing a comforting hand on Sokka's shoulder. "So what are we going to do about Aang?"

The councilman took a few moments to think it through. "You think you can get the charges dropped?"

She shrugged, "I probably can, but considering that there were a total of four physical assaults, it won't be easy to convince the victim and my officers otherwise. Not to mention what kind of message that could send. The public wouldn't be too keen towards the idea of letting Aang roam free just because he's the Avatar."

Sokka knew she was right. "What if we could find another sentence?"

The earthbender grasped her chin in thought, "We could put him under house arrest? If we do that, we could try and force him into changing his ways."

He shook his head in the negative, "We both know Aang doesn't respond well to force. With the state he is in now, he'd do anything to get out of it. I doubt he'd think twice about running away again and going into hiding."

"Well, what do you think we should do?"

He made a contemplative hum. "Perhaps we should put him under house arrest. Kya's birthday is coming up... If I can convince Aang to go, then maybe once he sees Kya, it will make him change his ways."

The chief formed a doubtful frown on her face, "You don't really think will work, do you?"

"It's worth a shot," he shrugged hopefully.

She sighed deeply, "Alright, we'll go with your idea. But if it doesn't work, we'll do it my way," she finished sternly.

"Which is...?"

A smirk appeared on her face, "You'll see..."

* * *

**I won't try and make this chapter any longer than it already is. I just wanna say this: I'm sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed. I was in a hurry to finish because I have a whole lot of writing assignments coming my way from English II, and if I didn't upload now, you'd all probably have to wait another week or so for the upload. So yeah, just letting you guys know. I'll try and get started on chapter 5 A.S.A.P. **

**Please read and review! Thanks!**


	5. A Separated Family

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 5:  
****A Separated Family**

Almost three weeks had passed since I was put under house arrest. I might as well have been behind bars. Metalbending police officers guarded the island, and the chefs made some type of strange tea with a special herb in it that weakened my ability the bend. The most I could do was create a soft breeze… There was no way I would be able to swim off the island because patrol boats surrounded it non-stop. I was confined to only go as far as the courtyard. It irritated me… I was going insane without any alcohol, and I could almost swear that I had started to hear voices.

At first, they were like whispers, but gradually became screams. I could make out that they belonged to a female, and it seemed like she was screaming my name. It only made it all even worse. The dreams had become more frequent. I had started having at least two a night, sometimes three. It was becoming worse and worse with each passing night, and I was on the brink of insanity… literally.

On top of that, I could have sworn I had started hearing things. Every night, usually around the time I went to bed, I could hear someone's voice—a woman's—screaming my name. When it first began, it was only quiet whispers, but as the days passed, it grew louder and louder until it had become screams. I could hardly make any of them out. I knew that whatever they were screaming contained only one syllable, and I knew I had heard the voice somewhere before. But it was distorted, sometimes garbled. I wanted it to stop, but no matter what I did, the only thing that stopped them was sleep. But I couldn't sleep all day… From the time I woke up until I went back to sleep the voice would shout. No one else could hear it, and certainly Sokka was noticing that I was going insane. I'm pretty sure I heard him talking about putting me in a mental institute if this continued any longer, and in a way, I wasn't against it. Maybe I was going insane. Maybe all the alcohol had done in the past is keep me mentally stable. However, that only made my desire for alcohol rise.

Sokka forced me to shave my head back to its bald nature, and since the first hours of my home captivity, was forced to wear Air Nomad attire. I was expected to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the Dining Hall with the other Acolytes, to meditate at least an hour a day (surprisingly that was Sokka's demand, even though he had once said that he never understood the whole purpose of it). It was all meant to reinforce my old Air Nomadic beliefs and virtues, and I have to admit, the meditation did help to keep the voices away.

I exited the washroom, my head shining its baldness.

"Ready to go?" asked Sokka, waiting for me just outside the door.

"Not really…" I answered flatly.

Sokka frowned, "Tough luck then. Let's go," he started for the courtyard. "I told Suki we'd be there by five."

Today was Kya's fifth birthday, and I'd been in a rather sulky mood today. This wasn't a day that I felt like leaving my room, or bed for that matter—much less the comfort of my own home. In the past, when this day came around, my spirit practically left my body. I did nothing, I said nothing, and I didn't even acknowledge that I was still breathing. Some days I'd just lie in bed, staring at the wall for hours and hours with no sense of time. Some days I'd stock up on alcohol the night before and drink myself into a mini-coma that I wished would just last forever. Maybe then I wouldn't have to feel all this pain. Maybe then I could enter one of my dreams, and unknowingly live it until my body finally shut down for good. Unfortunately I was never given that opportunity…

We started for the docks where a ferry was waiting for us. Hundreds of thousands of snowflakes fell down onto the city. The water was as cold as ice. The roads were covered by a white substance, and piles of snow rested on top of almost every surface.

Sokka tried to convince me to fly Appa to his home, but I didn't give in, because something told me that Appa wouldn't have been happy about that decision either. I could tell by the look he had had in his eyes a few weeks before. We boarded the ferry and proceeded towards the mainland. Sokka had a carriage waiting for us just across the street. We got inside and headed downtown. Sokka owned the penthouse floor of a hotel. Somewhere deep inside me, I didn't agree with the idea of having a five-year-old living at the top of an eleven-story building. I tried to ignore it, though. She wasn't my problem—but theirs. Still… I couldn't help but feel worried that Kya could climb her way onto the balcony edge and slip in an instant. It could happen in just a few short moments. Suki or Sokka could turn away from her for a moment to answer the door and she could already be descending to an instant death.

Why was I thinking of this?! It was just making things worse! It was a worry that was causing me to sweat, and Sokka noticed this.

"You nervous?" he asked me.

"Nervous about the idea of having a five-year-old in a penthouse eleven stories up…" I muttered under my breath.

"Say again?"

He hadn't heard me.

I turned to him, "Nothing… I'm fine."

Sokka rolled his eyes, "If you say so."

The carriage came to a stop in front of the hotel and two bellhops proceeded to open our doors for us. Sokka slipped them both a couple yuans and we proceeded inside. The hotel was certainly classy. Nothing too extravagant, but it was definitely not cheap. The walls were painted white, and in the center of the lobby there were three reddish-orange cushioned chairs surrounding a coffee table. A little away from that was an octagon of various colors painted onto the floor with a round table holding a vase with flowers in it. Beyond that was the front desk where the manager was reading a book. Sokka and I proceeded towards the elevators, where an earthbender awaited us. We walked inside a metal rectangular room, with a layer of stone surrounding it. Sokka informed the earthbender on the floor we were ascending to and closed the metal gates. The earthbender sent us up; throwing his fists up in the air that forced the elevator to ascend to the proper height.

We were met with a short narrow hallway that contained only one door. Next to it, attached to the wall, was a letter box, a small rectangular box with a narrow slot in the middle, with Sokka's name written on a card propped inside a frame. Sokka flipped open the flap and pulled out a number of envelopes. Some had the words "Happy Birthday" written on them, and Sokka made sure that I noticed that.

He slid open the door to the large apartment. "Suki, I'm back!" he called as we entered.

Suki came out of the kitchen wearing an apron over her dress. She immediately looked to me, "Glad you could make it, Aang!"

I shrugged, "Good to be here, I guess…"

_As if I had any choice_, I thought to myself.

She and Sokka exchanged a kiss, "Where's Kya at?" Sokka asked.

His wife broke eye contact to look down a short, narrow hallway, "She's been in her room ever since she got done eating breakfast," she informed him.

"Why is that?" asked Sokka.

Suki leaned towards Sokka's ear. She tried to speak at a volume I wouldn't hear, but it wasn't low enough. "I told her that Aang was coming over. I thought she deserved to know ahead of time. After she ate breakfast she ran straight to her room. She's been in there since…"

Sokka sighed, "Okay, let me go talk to her."

Sokka started down the hall and Suki invited me further into their home. Their living room consisted of a glass coffee table surrounded by a loveseat and couch. A bookshelf was placed diagonally in the corner. I scanned the walls. There were portraits of Sokka and Suki lining the walls, ranging from when they were teenagers to the age they were now. There were also a couple of Katara and me, but I tried to avoid them. Thankfully the voice had stopped once I left the temple, and I didn't intend on allowing anything to trigger it again. My eyes continued across the walls until they intercepted a fireplace. I didn't think much of it at first, until I saw what was placed on the shelf propped above the fire pit. There were two small vases with a bundle of flowers placed in each them, and placed in between them was a picture of Katara smiling in her wedding dress. Placed in front of the picture were lit incense sticks.

It was there for a reason… This day wasn't just Kya's birthday. But that picture also meant something more. Kya must have known that her mother had passed away. Whether she knew when or how her mother died was a blank to me.

"Would you like some tea, Aang?" Suki suddenly asked, holding a pot.

I nodded, "Yes, please." My throat was dry from being so nervous…

She poured a cup and handed it to me. I sipped it gratefully.

"So how have you been?" she asked.

Sokka had already told me that his wife knew what I was going through. My guess was that she was at a loss for words.

"Fine, I guess…" I answered. I heard Sokka's voice down the hall, and even though I wanted to ignore it, I found myself listening intently.

There was a knock on Kya's bedroom door. "Kya…?" he called her name. "Come on, sweetie; come out now." He knocked on the door again, "Please, Kya? Don't you want to see your daddy?"

My eyes widened at the sound of those two syllables. _Daddy_, I thought to myself. It was clear to me now that she knew who I was. She hadn't ran to her room because she was shy and that a stranger was coming over, but that today would be the day that she finally saw her father—the man who gave her up to her uncle and aunt. _Maybe s__he hates me_, I thought. I certainly wouldn't blame her…

I heard the sound of the door sliding open, but only slightly. Kya hid behind the door, revealing only enough of herself so she could peek an eye out the door. She seemed sad, possibly even scared.

"What's wrong?" asked Sokka. "Come on, come out of there."

She shook her head in denial.

"Please, sweetie? Your daddy wants to see you. Don't you want to see him?"

She looked off to the side in consideration, and then threw the door open and lunged at her uncle's leg, hiding behind it as she gripped the cloth of his pants.

He smiled, "Alright, close enough…" he said and started down the hallway, his niece following close behind as she covered herself from view.

I saw Sokka come into view. I began sweating intensely. I received the temptation to run away, to jump off the balcony and attempt an escape. But I couldn't find the will to do so; it was like my butt was glued to the seat.

Kya still hid behind Sokka's legs, out of sight. He turned his head towards her, "You don't have to be shy."

His niece gripped the cloth tighter before sliding aside a bit, revealing only a portion of her arm. Sweat was dripping off my arrow now. I was only moments away from seeing my daughter after five whole years. I felt like shouting, or maybe even crying. I felt almost completely guilty for what I had done to her in the past. I thought that maybe I could change that, right here and now. _Maybe…_

Finally Kya revealed herself. Time froze all around me. I practically stopped breathing; the only indication of my still being alive was the pounding of my heart against my ribs. She… she was so beautiful! More beautiful than any child I had ever seen in my life. She inherited her mother's hair color, which was braided into a short ponytail, and my nose. Her ears were that of her father's. Her skin was tan, like her mother's, but her eyes were a light silver-gray. She wore a blue shirt and brown pants.

The five-year-old still hid shyly behind her uncle's leg, revealing only half of her whole self. I felt my heart thud against my chest and I realized that time was still in action. I glanced at the picture of Katara and compared it to Kya. They looked so much alike! I felt like crying, but I couldn't. Somehow I wondered how I could have done this to her—completely shut her out of my life. I was now tempted to swoop her up in my arms and run away with her, but something stopped me.

I remembered what had happened five years ago today. I remembered what caused it. My stomach twisted up in my gut. I felt a surge of sadness course through me, a surge of anger, as well. Once again I felt like running away. But I didn't… I stopped myself.

"Kya…" Suki began, crouching beside her niece and sending a glance my way. "…this is your daddy."

She poked her head farther out from behind Sokka's leg, "Daddy?" she called in a soft, shy and scared, gentle voice. I had heard many voices fill in as hers in my dreams, but hearing it now, in the real world… well, I felt like my heart was about to pop out of my chest and launch itself across the room!

I tried to say something—anything. But I was at a loss for words. All I could do was stutter incomprehensible words. I tried to find the skill necessary to speak fluently.

Finally I just blurted out the first thing that successfully came up my throat. "Hi…"

She smiled softly, and it caused pools of water to flood my eyes. I couldn't figure out why! A part of me was crying over the fact that I abandoned her, but another, more influential part of me was crying over the whole reason _why_ I abandoned her. For the last couple years, I had told myself that I wasn't capable of raising her all on my own. But now I realized why I really gave her up. I was afraid—afraid of her. I was afraid that raising her would make my whole life become a personal Hell, that every day when I looked at her I'd be reminded that she had been granted life in sacrifice of her mother's. I had hated her for that… and a part of me still did.

Kya continued to slowly reveal herself and a soft smile grew on her face. _Why is she smiling?_ I asked myself. _Doesn't she understand what I've done?_

All of a sudden, she began running back down the hallway where her room was apparently located. I frowned softly and looked away. I thought she was running away from me—that she believed a smile was all I deserved from her. I couldn't blame her for that, just like I wouldn't blame her for hating me.

But then I heard her frantic footsteps come speeding back into the room. She had an object in her hand—some type of rag doll. She kept the doll firm in her grasp, almost covering it completely as she was holding it against her chest as she ran towards me. She might as well have gone ahead and jumped right in my lap with how she stopped, practically running right into my legs. My arms threw themselves out of her reach, like she had a contagious disease that I wouldn't dare risk catching by touching her. She looked up to me with her sparkling silver eyes, smiling.

She held the doll out to me, "Is this you, Daddy?"

I lost it there. I couldn't restrain myself from crying any longer.

The doll—it was modeled after me, a toy you'd buy at any retail store. It was made from colored cloths and stuffed with fluffy white cotton. Many of its details were off, but the primary aspect of the design was spot on. It had on my old Air Nomad training attire that I had worn before they had become scraps. The head had an oval shape, and it had a childish smile—a couple threads of yarn stitched at an angle that might as well have been circle cut in half. The eyes were stone-gray buttons, clashing with the color of the cloth resembling my skin tone. The arrow was pretty well put together, though.

I brought me to tears seeing that she actually had a doll modeled after me. Not only was it an amazing relief that didn't appear to hate me, but it also showed me that by not taking responsibility in raising her, and missing out the majority of her life, she had resorted to a cheap rag doll to remind herself who her true father is. I could see it in my head. So many nights she'd lay in her crib or bed, holding that doll tightly with no intention of ever letting it go and smiling in her sleep, knowing that it would keep her safe, like a real father would.

As the tears streamed down my face, I managed to make a short, soft chuckle. "Yeah, that's me…"

Her smile widened to where it showed her perfectly white teeth. Kya linked her arms around my waist and I chuckled again as the tears dripped off my chin, placing my hands around her as well. Doing this… I felt like I was hugging her mother. In a way, I was. I was hugging a part of her—a part that she and I created. Suddenly, the voices stopped. The screaming, the yelling that had been trying to get into my thick skull just ceased, right then and there.

* * *

About two hours had passed and we were finishing up dinner. To my surprise, Sokka had discovered a couple years ago that Kya was a vegetarian. Her favorite dish was fried rice with a variety of herbs, spices and some pepper. As we prepared it, I realized that I hadn't said a kind word to my brother-in-law up until that point. My craving for alcohol continued to remain as strong as forever, but for Kya's sake, I resisted it. I had to. It wasn't easy, believe me. It was a complicated and difficult process, but luckily I had a considerable amount of control over it… when I wanted to. That's another thing I realized. I'd become so addicted to alcohol because I wanted to be. I wanted to believe that alcohol was the answer to end the majority of my pain. But all I really needed was something to remind me of all the good things in life.

That something had been Kya…

Kya took her final bites and slid her plate towards the center of the table, as we had all done. Suki began to rise up from her seat but I beat her to it.

"I got the dishes, Suki," I told her. "I can get them."

"But you are our guest, Aang," she argued. "You shouldn't have to clean up in our home."

I sent her a smile, "Believe me, after everything you've done for me, this is not even remotely close to being the least I could do for you two."

I collected the plates and continued into the kitchen. Sokka smiled at his wife and I knew what he was thinking. The plan of his that he had put together had turned out just as well as he had hoped. I hadn't wanted to believe it would, but look at me now—happier than I've been in a long time...

I set the dishes in the sink and pumped the lever that flowed water from the faucet and onto the pile of dishes. I was finishing up when Kya linked her arms around my leg.

"Daddy, are you going to stay here tonight?" she asked me, excited as if I had already said yes long before.

I shrugged with a smile, "I'm not the one you should be asking," I began, talking sweetly to her. "That's something you should be asking your aunt and uncle."

Sokka and Suki rose from the cotton-stuffed seats. Kya sped over to them, linking her fingers together in a plea, "Can Daddy stay over Uncle Sokka?"

He looked up at me, smiled, then back down to Kya, "Sure, he can."

Kya hugged him and then her aunt, telling them both that she loved them before grabbing her rag doll from the arm of the couch. She ran into the living room and stopped at the fireplace. I stared at her and cocked a brow. _What is she doing?_ I asked myself.

She tried reaching up to the shelf where her mother's memorial was set up, but her arms were too short and the shelf was too high. I came up behind her and lifted her up. She placed the rag doll on the shelf, directly against the picture frame of her mother. I nearly began to cry when she turned to me.

"Now you and Mommy are together again, Daddy!"

I made a soft chuckle as I tried not to cry. I stroked her cheek, "We sure are, Kya... But your mommy will always be with me—with us both. I bet she's looked down at us right now."

My daughter smiled and rested her head in the spot between my head and shoulder. I stared at the picture. This is what she would have wanted... This right here.

Suddenly a knock came to the door.

"Who could that be?" I asked curiously. I had thought I was the only one coming to this little party.

Sokka rushed to the door, swinging it open and smiling widely in surprise.

"Dad, you actually made it!"

My eyes shot open, my heart began racing as if it was getting ready to pop out my chest, my grip on Kya's shirt tightened like I was about to rip the fabric, my teeth gritted so hard it was like I was trying to bite down on metal.

_What is _he_ doing here?!_

"I'm sorry I got here so late. The snow has really piled up out there. I practically had to dig through the snow to get here," Hakoda explained to his son.

Kya began to wiggle out of my grasp. I set her down and she rushed to her grandfather while I stood there with fire in my eyes. He shouldn't be here—he had no right!

"Gramp-Gramp!" she cried as he scooped her up in his arms.

"How's my little sea prune?!" he asked as he picked her up.

As he stood up, I came into his view. His age was definitely showing. He was about sixty now, maybe a little older. His hair was a silver-gray with a couple strands of dark-brown hair still showing. He had wrinkles all over his face, some stretching longer than others. His eyes had surprise in them.

"Aang," he began, surprise in his voice, "you're back in town! I didn't even know you had returned."

"What are you doing here?" I demanded in a low, firm voice.

"Visiting my granddaughter for her fifth birthday, what else?"

My eyes narrowed at him, "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have come all this way."

"He always does, Aang," Suki pitched in, bringing in a fresh pot of tea from the kitchen. "Hakoda comes every year for her birthday. He hasn't missed one yet."

I looked away from her and back to Hakoda. He had Kya leaning against his shoulder. How dare him! Touching my daughter—the girl whose mother he practically killed! My hands balled up into fists, clenching as tight as possible.

"Yeah, well, he should start now."

Sokka sent me a disgusted look, "What are you saying, Aang? He just came for his granddaughter's birthday!"

"I don't care!" I snapped. "He doesn't deserve to be here! He killed Katara!" I shout angrily.

Kya had fear in her eyes after I said that. Not at Hakoda, though; at me. Tears swelled up in her eyes from it. She said only a single word, "Mommy...?"

"Aang, what's gotten into you?" Hakoda demanded, stepping into the room. He set Kya down and she grasped the pants of his leg. "I never did anything of the sorts, and you shouldn't be saying such things in front of Kya!"

"Maybe you didn't kill her physically, but you're the cause of her death!" I continued to shout, raising my voice higher.

Suki began to approach me, holding her hands up in a 'calm down' manner. "Aang, I think you're just confused—"

"—Confused?" I cut her off. "I know what happened that night!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the chief, "He tricked us all—no, he betrayed us!"

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, Aang! Please, just calm down!" he insisted as Kya hid herself farther behind his legs. "Now, let's just talk about this for a minute. I think your emotions may just be judging your thinking a little,' he explained, glancing at the small memorial set behind me.

That only angered me more. "Nothing is judging my thinking, Hakoda. I know what you did and so do you; you just can't admit it!"

Kya poked her head out from her hiding place, "Daddy…"

I turned to Kya and saw tears flowing down her cheeks. I had never seen her crying before, not since the night she was born. For some strange, unjustifiable reason, I blamed Hakoda for her tears… even though, deep down, I knew they were caused by my anger and aggression. At the time I didn't accept that, though.

"Now look what you've done!" I shouted. "You've got her crying now!" I continued with scorn.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I jerked my head to see Sokka, staring with disappointment and shame in his eyes. "I think you should leave, Aang…"

I glanced back at Hakoda with a dark sparkle glistening in my pupils. I glanced back at Sokka.

"Maybe you're right…" I began. I shook my head and proceeded for the door. "I knew it would be a mistake coming here," I finished as I slammed the door behind me.

I left them with a sinking feeling in their stomachs—that feeling you get when someone you love has become very angry and you can't help but feel it's your fault. It's a hard feeling to describe. All of a sudden you feel the need to hide, or do something that will help that person, without confronting them in any way. You can't help but stare at the floor or a wall, or anything that isn't alive. You're at a sudden loss for words, you become extremely quiet. And when you can talk, your voice is too soft for anyone to even understand you. That's how I left them feeling… That's what I felt leaving.

Hakoda was the first to regain his will to speak. He curved around the couch to where Kya was sitting curled up, holding her legs against her chest while her chin rested on her knees, streams of water coursing down her cheeks. "Kya, sweetie—"

She suddenly stood up and ran past them all and into her room, closing the door immediately behind her as hard as her small arms could. It was no doubt that she had gone to weep.

Sokka's eyes closed and he took a breath. "It was working— I mean, I thought that maybe he finally changed. I was sure that—" He sighed, "I don't know…" he tripped over his own words.

Suki laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it didn't help any. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"And say what?" asked her husband. "She knows what happened. Dad showed up and hers got angry. Neither of us understands it, so we shouldn't try and make her."

Her eyes drifted, "I suppose you are right."

"He is," Hakoda spoke up. "I can't understand it either. I can't even begin to fathom where these accusations may have come from."

"He said something about you betraying us…" Suki began. "Any idea what that might mean?"

Her father-in-law looked away, "I've barely spoken to Aang since the funeral; actually that's the last time we spoke, when I gave him her necklace." The chief glanced at the memorial made for his daughter, but only for a brief moment.

"Maybe it had more to do with something you said that night," she suggested.

"Yeah," Sokka added, "Didn't you pull Aang off to the side when she went into labor?"

He made a contemplative hum. "Maybe I should go talk to him…"

"You sure that's such a good idea?" asked Sokka.

Hakoda turned away from them and directed himself towards the door, "Only one way to find out…"

* * *

I sat on a windowsill near the top of the base of the temple, my back leaning against the frame with my legs outstretched as far as the space would allow, with a bottle of tequila being chugged down my throat. The sun had been dominated by the full moon. The sky was pitch black, a thick layer of clouds stretching across the city. I could still, but only barely, see the moon's illuminating glow behind the layer of air and water. I was practically in a trance as I stared at the orb of light. I needed something to distract me.

The voice… It had returned only moments after I stormed out of Sokka's home. But it was much stronger this time, much louder. It wasn't as distorted as before, but I still couldn't make it out. I didn't want to anyway. I needed something to block it out again. That's what the tequila was for. So far it was working…

I saw the ferry arrive at the docks, returning from the city. My eyes narrowed. I had had enough of Sokka for a while. I had had enough of it all. I remembered that, long ago, when some of the monks achieved spiritual enlightenment, they would leave their respective temples and go someplace far away and live in solitude until the day they died. I had always thought that they were going a little too far. But now, it didn't seem like a bad idea. I could go someplace, without anyone knowing where, and live the rest of my days alone, with no one to tell me how to run my life. _Yeah. I might just do that, _I once said to myself.

Eventually, the visitor revealed himself not as Sokka, but as his father.

I titled my head back and chugged more of the alcohol. _What's he want?_ I asked myself as the liquid slid down my throat.

The chief made his way up the stairs and to the courtyard. His eyes roamed the area. I could tell that a nostalgic feeling had struck him, especially when he looked toward the path that led to mine and Katara's former dormitory.

A part of me was hoping he'd turn back around and head back, finding this visit completely pointless.

Unfortunately, I wasn't granted that satisfaction.

An Acolyte approached him and they engaged in a short conversation that led to my location being revealed to the chief. He looked up and saw me seated on the windowsill with a bottle of tequila. He bowed respectively to the Acolyte and proceeded to enter the temple. Minutes later I heard his footsteps approaching. I didn't bother removing my eyes from the sky. As far as I was concerned, the moon was more important than his presence.

"That's not a healthy habit, you know."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"I suppose not…"

I chugged more of the alcohol. "You come just to inform me of my health risks or do you actually have something to say?"

He took a deep breath and starting pacing a bit. I presumed he was trying to put his thoughts into words.

"Why, Aang?"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," I said.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I thought the answer was obvious?"

"That stuff's going to kill you; you know that, right?"

"Let it. Not like I haven't tried to do so myself…"

"Is that what you really want from life, though?" he asked in concern.

I tilted the bottle as I thought out my answer, still looking out at the sky. "You know something? I don't know what I want anymore. Right now all I want is for you to leave."

Hakoda took in a breath, "I've thought about it over and over again on my way over here, but I still can't figure it out… Why do you have this sudden hatred of me?"

For the first time, I looked to him, "Think back, five years ago today, at just about this time of night, Katara went into labor, but before you even let me stand by her side during all that pain, you said something to me. Don't you remember what you said?"

The chief broke eye contact as he thought back. I was surprised it took some actual thought. I remembered his words clearly, word for word even.

"You told me about what happened to Kya when she gave birth to Sokka. You told me that she opened her eyes again, and that Katara—my wife!—would do the same," I eventually answered for him. "You told me to hold on to the hope that she would! And look what happened!" I raised my voice, smashing the bottle against the wall as I got up. He flinched a bit as the shattered glass spread with the alcohol across the floor.

My eyes, narrowed, were darting at him with hatred.

"Aang, you can't logically blame me for that! I had no way of knowing—"

"She told me, before she died! She already knew happened with her mother! She said you told her before! She knew that she was going to be weak, that she'd lose consciousness! That's why she didn't fight it! She knew she was going to die, all because of what you said!"

As I shouted these words of hate and anger, I remembered when she spoke those words...

_Thankfully, Katara's eyes opened once again and she stared into mine. "I...love you, Aang. Please...take care of Kya." Her eyes then drifted closed once again._

_That hope that I had gripped firmly then began to slip away as her words struck my heart. "Katara...no, don't say that. You're gonna be fine. We'll raise her together, as a family, just like we wanted! She'll have parents who will love and support her forever, right, Katara?" I managed to say, the words clawing my throat as they exited the mouth. I brought Katara's hand that I had been holding and brought it to Kya's cheek. "Do you feel that, Katara?" I asked her. "It's Kya's cheek! Come on! Don't you feel it?"_

"_Please..." she managed to say, her voice too soft to be heard by anyone else. Her eyes were still closed, but... she was alive! Thank God, she was alive! "...come closer."_

_I didn't argue with her request. I leaned in closer, "I'm here, Katara. Please, you have to stay with us! You have to see our baby!" I pleaded._

_Her head shook ever so slightly, "This is how it's supposed to be. Dad told me...I'd be weak. He told me about my Mom," her voice was almost too soft for me to hear, her lips barely moving. But I didn't care. I could still hear her voice. That's all that mattered. "I can see her. I can see Mom again..." At tear dripped down her face as she managed to turn her head in my direction. She opened her eyes slightly and a soft smile rose from the surface. "This is how its supposed to be..." Her eyelids began to slide downward. She had to be blinking! She had to be! She couldn't leave like that! She shouldn't be convinced this is how it should be! _

_Finally... her eyelids closed, and her head fell with that smile still on her face. _

_Then, without any warning, her arm dropped to her side. At that very moment, the hope I tried so hard to hold onto, vanished forever._

"I thought she had the right to know!" Hakoda argued. "She deserved to know the risks she'd be taking—I told her all that not long after we found out she was pregnant."

"And you didn't tell me until that night?!" I shouted angrily. "What about my right to know, huh?! She was pregnant with _my _child!"

"Trust me, Aang, the way you've been acting these last few years, I don't think you even deserve to be Kya's biological father. You've abandoned her, left her to believe she doesn't have a mother _or_ a father!"

"Because of you!"

"All that alcohol really is screwing with your brain cells, isn't it? What I said wasn't meant for her to accept death—"

"But it sure did convince her to do as such!"

Hakoda growled irritatedly, then took a breath. "Look, we both know we can't forget what happened in the past, but you have to move on! When I saw her in your arms, she'd never looked happier... But you've let your need to blame another and poison yourself overcome your true emotions."

"Get out..." I ordered as I turned away from him. "Get out of my house, get off _my_ island, and get out of my city!"

Hakoda shook his head in disappointment, "You may have helped found this city, but you don't have the authority to exile me from it."

I spun around, my fist creating a trail of fire, "I SAID GET OUT! I don't ever want to see you again! I want you out of my life! I want you out of Kya's life! Hell, I wouldn't care if you dropped dead by tomorrow!"

He left with a look a shame on his face, but also great sadness. The last time I had seen him so sad was... you get the point. I sat back on the windowsill and waited for him to leave. Minutes later, I saw him walking through the courtyard. He made it halfway when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He bent his back downwards, like he was in pain or something. He stood there, bent over, for a couple seconds before he collapsed into the snow, face down. My eyes widened and I suddenly found myself jumping from the window.

"Hakoda!" I yelled his name as I softened my fall with airbending. I sprinted towards him. Why had I suddenly cared for his well-being? Why was my heart about to leap out of my chest? I wanted him to leave. I didn't ever want to see him again. But now I was on my knees on the ground, yelling his name as I turned him over. His eyes were close, hand clutching his chest where his heart was buried. He wasn't breathing! He was having a heart attack!

"Someone! Someone get help!" I shouted desperately. "Hakoda, come on!" I shouted, but he was unresponsive. I had to take matters into my own hands. Using thin slice of air, I quickly ripped open his shirt and started CPR. I started pumping his chest. He still wouldn't respond. "Come on, Hakoda! Please, breathe, goddammit!" I demanded desperately. I pinched his nose and proceeded to do mouth-to-mouth, manually sending air into his body. I then continued pumping his chest. My attempts seemed futile, but I couldn't give up. No, I _wouldn't_ give up! "I didn't mean what I said, Hakoda!" I told him as my eyes began to flood. "Katara already died on me, don't you do it too! You hear me? DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"

* * *

**Well, isn't that a dramatic cliffhanger? You know, in my other, most popular story, my reviewers are always in agonizing pain after my cliffhangers. That's why I like to call myself "The Devil of Cliffhangers". Kinda stupid, I know. But sure fun to say!**

**So, what will happen next? Will Hakoda survive his heart attack, or will he die and leave Aang with the loss of yet another family member? More importantly, will Aang's experience with Kya and Hakoda force him to change his ways, or will he only fall deeper into the pit of depression?** **Find out in the next chapter!**

* * *

**I'd like to send a shout-out to the anonymous reviewer "Maria", who asked for me to upload this chapter by October 12****th**** for her birthday. At first, I didn't think I'd get this chapter done in time. But after that request, I knew I shouldn't—couldn't—let her down. I got hard to work on the final touches of this chapter. Maria, if you're reading this, I hope you have a Happy Birthday and many more to come!**

**Sincerely,  
****AvatarBeau96**


	6. Losing Myself

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 6:  
****Losing Myself**

_I stood at the edge of a cliff, staring out at a seemingly endless ocean. I was twelve years old again, wearing my traditional Air Nomad training attire. It was late at night, a few clouds floating in the sky below the bright curving moon. My entire face was blank. It didn't even appear that I was staring at the ocean. It was more like I was looking past it—or rather, through it._

_I must have been out there for at least an hour, maybe a quarter past. I had no real reason for being out here. I just wanted to get away and be by myself._

_Soon enough I heard footsteps approaching from behind me. They were light, careful. Their owner was approaching with care. I knew who it was before they even spoke._

"_You know, it's okay to miss Appa."_

_I remained silent, not moving a muscle to show any indication that I had anything to respond with._

"_What's going on with you?" she asked with concern. "In the desert, all you cared about was finding Appa and now it's like you don't care about him at all."_

_My eyes drifted closed as I remembered my past actions, "You saw what I did out there. I was so angry about losing Appa that I couldn't control myself." My face tightened up as I felt angry with myself, "I hated feeling like that." My eyes drifted shut again._

"_But now you're not letting yourself feel anything," she told me, the concern in her voice rising. "I know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. But you have to promise me that you won't stop caring." She held out her arms, "Come on, you need a hug."_

_I can't remember ever denying a hug from her up to that point. I simply turned to her and bowed respectfully. "Thank you for your concern, Katara." I turned and walked down the cliff, leaving her behind. I didn't have to look back to figure out what kind of state I left her in—hurt, worried, and unneeded._

_Suddenly I heard my name being called. "Aang!" I turned in response, but there was no one there. She… she was there, just a minute ago! Wait, the ledge was broken! I heard my name called again, this time it sounded more desperate. I raced towards its source. When I reached her, I could see her fingers clinging to the side. The ledge had somehow given way and she must have slipped! Her fingers began slipping. I dived forward, catching her wrist in both my hands just as she lost her grip. She let out a terrified gasp as she was almost lost to the crashing waves below._

"_I got you!" I cried out to her. I saw the look in her eyes—terrified beyond belief. Her hand was sweaty from the fright, slipping out of my grasp. I tightened my grip. I knew that my added strength was hurting her, but I couldn't let her go, even if it meant breaking her wrist. It was better than losing her._

_I strained as I struggled to pull her back to safety. "Aang!" she screamed my name as I made no progress._

_My eyes clenched closed, my teeth grinding. I was pulling muscles in my arms as I tried harder to save her._

_Suddenly I heard crying. But it wasn't hers, and it certainly wasn't mine. It was a child's, a newborn's even! Suddenly my eyes opened in surprise and they followed the sounds of the cries. They directed me towards the space where the moon had just been. It wasn't there anymore. Instead… it had been replaced by the image of the newborn crying. Immediately, I recognized the baby. It… it was Kya! Her cries were just the same as the night she was born. I stared in shock and awe. I didn't even notice that, until she called out my name again, Katara was slipping out of my grasp._

_I couldn't keep my eyes off Kya. I found myself becoming oblivious to the fact that she was still slipping from out of my grasp. It was like some imaginary force was compelling me to become distracted by the sight of my daughter._

_I was brought out of my trance when I felt a sharp, stinging pain build up in my wrist. I turned to her, noticing that as she was slipping, she was accidentally lodging her nails into my skin, scratching away the surface of my sleeve and skin._

_Eventually, our sweaty palms replaced the friction and we began sliding out of each other's grasp. I contemplated on whether or not I should try to build a platform of earth beneath her. I was still in training, though. If I tried, I might fail and the movement could cause our grips cease and have her falling into the water below, but not before breaking multiple bones on the many rocks that rose a couple of feet above the water line._

_Kya's wailing cries grew louder, and on impulse I redirected my attention towards her. Then without explanation, she was gone. I was left with a dumbfounded expression and complete confusion. I thought that maybe it was all my imagination, until I heard two sets of desperate cries. I jerked my head towards them and saw that I now had both Katara and Kya in my grasp, struggling to pull the both of them back to safety._

_She was no longer a newborn. She had been reverted to her five-year-old state. She had both of her small palms wrapped around my wrist as I gripped hers. Katara was still slipping, though! Before I knew it, our hands had become like hooks, our curled fingers now being the only hope of saving her from an instant death._

_I transferred the majority of my strength into my left arm, not even aware that by doing so, my grip on Kya loosened and she was now clinging to the fabric at the edge of my wrist._

"_Aang," Katara called my name in desperation, "save Kya! Forget about me!" she urged._

_No, there was no way I could do that. "I already lost you once. I'm not going to let you slip away from me again!" I told her firmly._

"_Daddy!" Kya screamed in sheer terror as the fabric began to rip._

"_Aang, save Kya!" Katara screamed to me, her voice firm with absolute demand._

_I found my eyes crisscrossing between the two women whose lives were literally mine to hold onto to. I found myself trying to make the ultimate decision. The fabric was moments away from breaking off from the rest of the outfit, taking Kya with it to an immediate death. If I was to save her, there would be no doubt Katara's life would be taken. But… if I saved Katara, not only would we lose our only child, but she'd hate me forever for allowing our daughter to die. But... if I saved Kya, she'd hate me forever for allowing her mother to die. I had to choose. It was either save our only daughter, or save the love of my life._

_I couldn't make a decision. No matter what, I'd lose the two most important people in my life. It was all about whose life I believed deserved to last longer._

_I took too long to choose… The cloth ripped and separated from the rest of my torso and Kya began to fall. Impulse took over and I took my grip from Katara's arm and attempted to take hold of Kya's hand. But I was already too late. By the time I let go of her mother, Kya had already fallen out of my reach. When I tried to grab hold of Katara again, she too had fallen out of my reach. I was too stunned at the image to move any muscle in my body. I could only lie there and watch as they both fell to an instant death._

_I could have saved one of them… I should have saved one of them…_

* * *

I was woken up by a violent shaking, followed by the desperate calling of my name several times. I hadn't even remembered falling asleep, much less sitting down. I'd been pacing back and forth across the hallway. I don't know for how long, but the next thing I knew was that I was being shaken awake.

"Aang, wake up!" the voice demanded. My vision readjusted and I found my brother-in-law hovering above me.

I shoved his hands off of me, "I'm awake, alright!" I said with grumpiness from my sudden awakening.

"What happened?!" he demanded as I rubbed my eyes. "What happened to my dad?!"

I was immediately reminded of the events that took place only an hour or so ago. For a moment, it seemed like he was just coughing or something. Next thing I knew, he was lying face-down in the snow, no longer breathing. I had started CPR, what I knew of it at least. All the monks were taught it at some point in their lives. We had the ability to control air, and though it was barely useful during most medical emergencies, CPR and airbending seemed to fit like a glove. I did everything I could, but I couldn't get his blood pumping again…

"He-he had a heart attack," I answered. "Didn't they tell you anything?" I asked out of confusion. Surely whoever alerted Sokka that his father was in the hospital could have at least given him the basics of the incident.

"No, all they said was that he was here," he explained. "Is he alive?!" he asked desperately.

I sent a look to him, of concern and surprise. They…didn't tell him?

"Sokka…"

"Is…he…alive?!" he said it louder, spacing out his words as if I didn't hear them the first time.

I breathed calmly. Even after I gave the news, the outcome would surely end up in me being the cause. That wasn't entirely inaccurate…

"He's alive…" I began before adding, "…barely, though."

Sokka breathed a large sigh of relief. "At least he's alive; that's the main thing."

"You seem to be taking this well?" I inadvertently said aloud.

He cast me a look, "Because he's still alive. I know my father—he can get through anything long as he's still breathing."

I turned my eyes away from him, "He wasn't for a minute there…" I muttered softly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing—Are Suki and Kya here with you?"

He nodded, "They're outside in the carriage. I wanted Suki to stay home with Kya, but she must have overheard that her grandfather was in the hospital and insisted on coming," he stated, soon thereafter adding, "That's the first time she's left her room since you left."

That hurt, really. "Did you come here to check on your father or see if I had anything to do with it?"

He rolled his eyes, "Honestly? A little bit of both. He said he was going to talk to you, and then an hour later I'm being told my father's in the hospital. I have to admit, my first thoughts weren't all that pleasant towards you."

"Well, you're welcome," I said harshly. "If it hadn't been for me, he'd probably be dead right now!"

Sokka scoffed, "If it hadn't been for you, he probably wouldn't have had a heart attack in the first place!" he retorted. I couldn't help but admit that there was a certain truth to that statement. "Tell me, Aang, when did he have that heart attack, huh?"

"He was just leaving," I answered, hiding the details as best I could.

But Sokka could see the full truth was hiding in my eyes, "And what happened before that?"

"Nothing," I insisted, unknowingly avoiding eye contact as I stared at his boots.

"Tell me, Aang!"

The anger building up inside me was becoming tenser. "Drop dead," I spat.

The councilman misunderstood my response, and I could tell by the look on his face that he was on his wits end with me, "I…said…tell me!"

I stood up from my seat. "I just did," I sneered before turning away from him and heading down the hall towards the exit. As I swung open the doors to the hospital, I spotted an ostrich horse-drawn carriage parked by the curb. I recognized it immediately by its navy blue paint job, not to mention the five-year-old peeking out the window. She stared at me for only a brief moment before she sat back down in her seat, a depressed look on her face.

I halted myself and thought for a moment. They still didn't if Hakoda was okay or not. Right now Sokka was probably in his father's room, talking to the doctors or something. No telling how long he'd be in, though. I breathed a sigh and approached them. I tapped the window with a comforting smile.

Kya glanced at me only briefly before turning away. Suki reached over her niece and slid the glass window down. She was speechless, but her eyes asked for the news.

I looked to Kya, "Gramp-Gramp's going to be okay, Kya," I told my daughter. "His heart just didn't agree with him tonight."

Suki caught on to my meaning and breathed a somewhat sigh of relief, as her husband had done.

Kya just turned away, scooting closer to her aunt and burying her face in the clothing. She was mad at me; I could tell. Earlier she couldn't keep her eyes off me, now she wouldn't even look at me for more than two seconds. I reached in to brush her hair with my hand but she swatted it away. A look of disappointment rose upon my face and I brought my hand back. I stared at her, marveling her beauty and the similarities to her mother for only a few minutes more when I heard the hospital doors open from behind me. Sokka was coming down the steps.

I left the carriage with a final statement, "I'm gonna make this right; I promise."

* * *

The voice and the dreams—they'd come back again. It had been impossible to sleep. I'd been trying to keep from drinking, and every night I hadn't, it'd take hours just for me to fall asleep because of the screaming I could swear was coming from someone standing over me. On top of that, I'd wake up countless times in a single night from dreams. They varied randomly, but the basis of each was pretty much the same: what my life would have been like if Katara hadn't died.

I couldn't take it anymore. They had to stop. I started drinking again and I didn't regret it one bit. They kept the voice quiet for a while, but the dreams continued without any lag whatsoever. Soon enough, the voice grew stronger as well. Not even drinking would shut it up. I tried again and again without any success. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to get in touch with Kazuto.

I sat in the bar at a table, wearing a hat and gloves to cover my tattoos, waiting for him to show as snow fell outside. I had asked the bartender about him earlier, if he was a regular. The bartender stated that he was usually there on Friday nights from sundown until an hour before closing. It was past sundown and the sky was pitch black, not even a star in sight during this new moon. I was beginning to think he wasn't going to show when he finally arrived. I sent him a wave and gestured him over to the table in a corner, separated from the main area of the bar. He greeted me and sat down.

"Haven't seen you here in a while," he said. "I thought you skipped town."

"I've been in a little trouble with the law," I stated.

Kazuto's attention was suddenly caught to the fullest. He leaned towards me, his eyes firm with stone. "Did they find it?"

I nodded in the affirmative.

He suddenly gripped my shirt collar, pulling me across the table so that I was only inches from his face, "You didn't rat me out, did you?"

I grabbed his wrists and shoved him off of me, "Calm down. I didn't tell them anything, all right."

He sighed in relief, "Good." He cast an apologizing smile, "Sorry, Kuzon, but when it comes to stuff like this, a guy like me can get a little tense at times."

"Just don't take it out on me," I warned. "Listen, you got a little something on you?"

"And little 'something' more," he retorted.

I looked around for a bit; making sure no one was in hearing range. I leaned in, "Kazuto, I keep hearing this voice all the time. It's screaming in my heard. I can barely get to sleep at night, but even when I can sleep, I keep having these dreams."

"What kinds of voices?"

"That's not important," I said, disregarding the question. "What's important is I need to know if you got something to make them go away!"

"Ever try tequila?" he asked, cocking a brow as if I was insane.

I rolled my eyes, "You think I haven't tried that yet?"

Kazuto made a contemplating eye roll and sighed, "Alright, follow me."

We departed from our table and proceeded outside. We crossed the street and walked into a nearby alley. Kazuto looked around, specifically the street surrounding the area, and continued farther down until we reached an empty area. He told me to wait there before proceeding cut around the corner on the opposite side of the alley we came from. A few minutes later he returned, breathing fire into his hands. It was freezing outside, but nothing compared to temperatures I had endured in the South Pole.

He took a small capsule from out his coat pocket. Inside was some kind of white powder, like flour or something. I cocked a brow in question, "Flour? You're giving me flour?"

Kazuto made a snorted chuckle, "Sure, 'flour'. Just don't use it for baking or nothing."

I stared at the capsule for a while, and hesitantly began to reach out for it when a thought came to mind. "Are you sure this stuff will get rid of the voices?"

"Yes, I'm positive that it will. Trust me—just, uh, be a bit careful with it, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, handing him some money. He swiftly removed it from my palm and slid it into a pocket hidden inside his coat. He cast a soft smile, somehow seeming pleasured by my purchase. In all honesty, at the time I still found what he was doing to be quite vulgar and sick, selling illegal substances to anyone who seemed interested. But I didn't really care at the moment. Right now I had gotten what I wanted and just wanted to get out of there. I stuck the capsule in my pocket and proceeded out the alley, scanning the areas and tipping my hat down to cover my arrow as I strolled home.

* * *

The days passed quickly, so much I rarely was able to keep track of time. I kept myself isolated in the house, positioned just on the edge of the island. No one bothered me, no one dared to come near me. The only time I left the house was to go and grab some cigarettes and a new bottle of booze. I'd pick food from the greenhouse, too, but that only took minutes. I was in my own world—a world I no longer had any control over. There was no use trying to regain control. I'd lost it completely the night she died. What did it matter anyways? It had become clear I didn't have what it took to take my own life, so I might as well just let the universe do whatever the hell it wanted to with it.

I woke up to find myself sprawled out on the couch. My brain was pounding against my skull with the force of a thousand boulders. Upon the resurrection of my other senses, I discovered an empty bottle in my hand, dangling off the edge. I was momentarily confused. I hadn't any recollection of even lying down the night before. I groaned groggily, knowing that I was awake and that there was no point in returning to the blissfulness of sleep with my skull taking punches from fists of ragged stone. Hell, it wasn't even a peaceful sleep. I didn't remember any of it, fortunately. No dreams. No voices. Maybe now I could convince myself I wasn't insane.

My body was forced to its feet by an unknown force, driven to hide away in the bathroom and take my "medicine" the "doctor" prescribed for my hallucinations.

On the outside, I looked like I had just woken up after only a few hours of sleep; however, inside I longed for someone to just come and take me away from this constant masquerade known as "coping with life."

I opened the door to the bathroom and closed it behind me. I placed myself in front of the sink and began searching my pockets. I took out a small capsule and opened it, sprinkling two lines of white power across the counter, then closed it and put it back. I shoved my hand into my pocket and ripped out a cripple banknote, rolled it up, and leaned down toward the counter. I snorted the lines of drugs, feelings the near tingling sensation as it coursed up my nose and into my system. I sniffed softly; making sure none hadn't been left any behind in my nostril. I then continued to pump some water into the sink, cupped some in my hand and splashed my face to wake me up, using the remnants of the water to clean off my upper lip and right below my nose.

All of a sudden, I felt weaker. I gripped the edges of the counter, trying to keep on my feet. I felt drunk. Huh... five years ago I never even wanted to experience anything like it, and here I was comparing it to what I suspected was exactly what I paid for: something to finish me off.

I was so lightheaded I figured my heart-rate was raging so fast that it was about to burst.

I began to cough violently, like I had nails stuck in my throat.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Aang?"

My eyes widened to a voice, one I hadn't heard in a long time. I was sure I'd never hear it out loud again.

I forced my head to look up, into a glass mirror, where I saw a figure standing behind me, one that was all too familiar.

"Gyatso..." I whispered the name, shocked and confused. I saw his face; his old, shriveling face, yet kind and nurturing with the smile that rested below his snow-white fu-manchu mustache.

However, his smile quickly turned upside-down into a disappointed frown. "Why, Aang? You had always been such a good boy—a bringer of peace and love. Everyone around you looked up to you; knew that with you around anything could be done."

"That was the old days..." I muttered below my breath before looking back into his eyes. "I was foolish; a child who knew nothing of the real world and all the pain it brings people. There is no happiness in life, not without that one person you love to keep you going."

"Love is a form of energy, Aang, and it swerves all around us. Love can never be destroyed; it can only be reformed."

"You aren't the first person to convince me of that lie, Gyatso!" I said angrily. "Seeing love being ripped away from you is what destroys it, and without love life is nothing but a barren wasteland!"

"Then what is Kya?"

My eyes widened again.

"Nothing; she's nothing to me..." I said, turning away from him with my eyes shut.

"She's your daughter, a bundle of life formed by the unity of two loves. That is the reformation of love, Aang."

I tightened my eyes, trying to prevent the tears from escaping the wells of my face. "Like you'd ever know," I growled, turning back around and looking him dead in the eyes.

"The Air Nomads never kept their children! No, they gave them away to others to take care of them for them! I'm simply carrying on the tradition!"

"You never believed in that tradition. You always found it vulgar and dishonorable."

"Well, maybe it's time I stopped being so childish about that as well. Maybe she doesn't deserve her real family, rather one that will actually care for her!"

"You're being foolish, Aang. You know well that these aren't the new traditions of the Air Nomads that you are trying to put forth with your Acolytes. You just don't want to escape the fact that you have to move on, and stop living in a world where everything is pointless. Life is for a purpose, not to be thrown away because you just can't let go of Katara!"

"Shut up!" My fist pounded against the counter and the marble bent around my fist. I growled angrily as I suddenly punched the mirror out of sudden rage. The glass shattered all over the place, breaking into even smaller bits and pieces upon impact with the floor. I found myself leaning against the wall, sliding down against it as I cried into my palms before finally resting on the floor and into the fetal position.

* * *

"Councilman Sokka, your father can see you now," the nurse told him.

Suki's comforting hand retreated from Sokka's leg. He got up from the chair in the waiting room and followed the lady to his father's room. He had asked the nurse that the moment his father had awakened to come and get him. They had asked him to come in tonight due to the possibility Hakoda would have enough of his strength back to have visitors. He'd been awake for days, but the heart attack he had gone through had taken a lot out of him.

He was led down a corridor of hospital rooms; almost each one had a patient in them. She began to slow her pace.

"Now he might still be a bit weak. Though, this is common with most heart attack victims. We've given him some herbs to help keep his heart at strength. His blood pressure simply got too high, so the causes could very... though we're fairly sure that stress or irritation was the cause," she informed the councilman. "Try to keep him away from stressful situations from now on, and he'll be just fine." She gave him an assuring smile.

"Thank you, ma'am," he bowed softly to her and headed into the room.

His father saw him coming in immediately and smiled, "Heyy, I know that handsome face..." he said softly, weakly.

Sokka smiled softly; glad to know that his father was feeling well. He took up a seat next to Hakoda's bedside.

"How are you doing, Dad?"

"I've been better. The healers here know what they're doing, but..." the smile on his face vanished for only a moment, "...I've been attended by better."

The councilman knew who Hakoda was referring to, but decided against commenting on it. "You sure gave us a scare, y'know. Kya and Suki are waiting to hear from you. They've been really worried, especially Kya."

However, Hakoda didn't seem interested in the fact that they were there. In fact, it almost didn't make a difference to him. Currently he was only worried about one thing only.

"What about Aang?" he asked.

Sokka was surprised by the question; his eyes widened and then sighed softly, "He's not here. He left after we first arrived the night you were admitted. I haven't seen him since."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah but, uh… we aren't really on the best of terms right now."

His father sighed, "Sokka… You can't just give up on him, especially not now when he needs you the most."

"He told you to drop dead, Dad, and you nearly did! What if the Acolytes hadn't found you? What if you had been left there to die in the snow?"

"Sokka—"

"He doesn't care for you anymore, not the one of us!"

"Sokka," Hakoda barked, startling his son with his sudden burst of noise, "it was Aang who saved me."

"What?" his son question in near disbelief.

"I was in a daze, but I know what I saw, Son. He was trying to revive me, shouting my name as loud as possible. I don't think he even realized that I regained consciousness before the medics came," his father explained.

The councilman was surprised by this, but at the same time relieved. It could be seen in his eyes, how they widened and small tear he managed to hide from his father's view. Perhaps Aang was still himself, but trapped deep down inside the pit that alcohol and nicotine had formed around his kind spirit.

"Aang may still be who he is deep down, Sokka; but the truth is…he's had every right to be angry with me this whole time."

Sokka shook his head, "You didn't do anything wrong…"

Hakoda sighed in self-shame, "Yes, I did…" he began. "When Katara went into labor, I spoke with Aang outside the room in private. I never told you this, but when your mother went into labor with you, she lost a lot of her strength, and became very weak. She lost consciousness over and over again, but she always woke up, eventually."

"But she was fine, Dad. Last time I checked, she didn't die from giving birth to me," Sokka interjected.

"I know, but that's not the point. I was afraid that, like your mother, Katara would go through the same pain, and felt I should warn Katara and Aang. I managed to tell her a couple weeks after we discovered her pregnancy, but only told Aang the night she went into labor. I didn't want to worry him or make him more paranoid than he was already becoming," Hakoda continued, voice shaking. "Right before she died, she told Aang what I told her, and she seemed to believe this was how it was supposed to happen. She somehow felt she had to accept that she might die that night… And she did, and now Aang believes that I encouraged her to accept death and not fight it."

"He feels betrayed…" Sokka muttered to himself.

"You need to help him," his father told him, interrupting his train of thought. "You and Suki and Kya, you're the only ones who could possibly help him."

"I've tried, Dad. You don't think I have?"

"I'd never doubt you on that," his father reassured. "But you'll find a way, Sokka. I know you will."

"I don't know, Dad. It seems like every word I say to him just goes in one ear and out the other. I can't get through to him," Sokka shrugged, looking away from his father from lack of self-confidence.

"You just have to find the right words."

Sokka nodded, "I'll try."

Hakoda looked at his son with confidence, "Now, go on home. Kya needs her sleep."

"Okay; I'll come visit you again in the morning."

"Don't rush yourself. Put Aang first, alright?"

"I will." He hugged his father, "Bye, Dad. Get better while I'm gone, okay."

"I'll do my best," the chief chuckled.

Sokka left for the door, taking a final glance at his father before finally leaving and reuniting with Suki and Kya. Suki was still wide awake, waiting for her husband to return and for good news, meanwhile Kya slept in the seat next to her aunt, snoring lightly with drool hanging off her bottom lip, and the doll of her father in hand, clutching it tightly in her sleep. She seemed to be sleeping blissfully. It was almost a shame to wake her in order to get her into the carriage.

"Is he okay?" asked Suki as Sokka entered the room.

"He's fine; still a bit weak, but he'll make it. Like I said: As long as he's breathing, he can make it through anything," Sokka stated confidently, reassuring his wife.

Suki turned to Kya, watching her sleep for a moment. She smiled, but it soon faded as she turned back to her husband.

"What are we going to do?"

"About Kya?"

"About all of this!" Suki exclaimed as quietly as she could, sitting back down next to her niece, softly stroking her brown, silky hair. "She doesn't deserve this, Sokka. No child does. She's forced to live everyday of her life, feeling unloved by her own father. But still, she has hope for him…" A tear dripped from her eye. "That's the hardest part, Sokka," Suki continued. "It is hard watching her have so much hope for Aang, and we don't even know if he is ever even going to look at her again, not to mention accept her as his daughter."

Sokka sat down next to her and grasped her shoulders in comfort, "I know, Suki. It's hard for me, too. But we just have to keep trying with Aang; it's the only way."

"I try to understand what he's going through," Suki continued, twisting her body around to meet Sokka's and nudging her head into his chest, "but sometimes I just want to hate him for what he's putting _her_ through."

"I know, Suki, I know. I'm going to go see him again tomorrow. He was himself for a while when he was with Kya. Maybe all we have to do is get them back in the same room," Sokka suggested, nestling her in his arms.

"I hope you are right…" she murmured.

Sokka sighed, glancing at Kya, "I hope I am too." Sokka yawned and separated from Suki. "I think it's time for us to head home for the night, and get Kya to sleep."

Suki nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we should, shouldn't we?"

"Mhmm," acknowledged Sokka, getting up from his seat to scoop Kya up in his arms, as gently as he could to keep her from waking. They left the hospital and got back in Sokka's carriage, and he took the reins and guided them back home. It was nighttime now, and the moon was nearly full. It was almost that time of the month for the full moon to return. Sokka kept his eyes on it more than he did the road. Before when he would look up at the radiant moon, he would think of Yue, but now all he could think about was Katara. She would cross his minds hundreds of times a day, but he would barely acknowledge her image. He didn't want to turn out like Aang, unable to get her off his mind and letting the depression sink in and devour him. It was something he couldn't allow to happen, no matter what.

It didn't take long before they were back hope. They took the elevator up to the penthouse, with Kya in Sokka's arms. He got the keys from out his coat pocket.

"I'll go put Kya to sleep. Could you check the mail?" he asked Suki as he stepped inside their apartment.

Suki nodded and opened the mail slot outside their door, taking out a small pile of letters and bills. She flipped through them, looking to see what all needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. She took the letters inside with her as she flipped through them, and one caught her eye.

Kya was set gently in her bed, still clutching her doll. Her uncle softly put her blanket over her, tucking her in. She could tell she was in the comfort of her own bed, grasping the blanket and pulling it up to her chin, uncovering her feet. Sokka chuckled softly and left her be. Normally he would put her in pajamas, but it would just wake her at this point. She would be fine.

Sokka closed the door behind him, meeting an illuminated hallway. He looked down the hall to the living room, finding the light on. He thought Suki would have gone to bed immediately after checking the mail. Why was she still up?

He strolled down the hall to fetch her. As he got closer, he heard what sounded almost like sobbing. As he reached the end of the hall, he found Suki in one of the chairs, reading a letter while tears rolled down her face. She was shaking, barely able to hold her hands still. Sokka, now shivering and curious as to what she was crying about, approached Suki, kneeling by her side.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

He brought her wet, tearing eyes to meet her husband's. Her voice quivered, "H-he is getting rid of her, Sokka. He's setting Kya up for adoption…" she gripped his collar tightly, "He's going to take her away from us!"

Sokka was shocked, and angered. For a moment, he couldn't believe her words. He took the letter from her hands and scanned over it while she continued to sob. After reading over it, he crumpled the paper in his fist, clenching it tightly.

"He's gone too far now," he said, angered, hugging Suki tightly, trying to ease her sobs while trying to hold back his own. They had treated Kya as their child for five years now, and if in the event Aang never would change, they knew they would take Kya into their custody in a heartbeat. But now Aang had other plans. He wasn't going to give Kya to them; he was going to take her from them, and set her up to be taken by strangers she's never seen before. She'd gone through enough without this! That's what angered Sokka most, that Aang just couldn't accept her as a member of this family, in any way. He wanted to keep her out of his life, but he crossed the line with adoption.

"I'm going over there," said Sokka, breaking the tight embrace. "I'm going to knock some sense into that boy's head."

Suki grabbed his arm when he started to leave, "You can't! That will just antagonize him more, Sokka; you'll encourage him."

He knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit it. He just wanted to knock some teeth at this point. He was ruining this family, a family that had brought him in when he had nothing.

"Ugh, fine…" Sokka groaned, "But I'm still going to go talk to him. This needs to stop—he's out of line."

Suki wiped her eyes with her sleeve, "I-I know, but I don't want you to hurt him."

Sokka couldn't make any promises. No, there weren't any promises to be made. Whatever happened between them was going to happen, and Sokka wouldn't hold back if it came to that. He turned to Suki and nodded, giving her some satisfaction that he would at least consider her words, without necessarily promising to keep them. She let him go and he left, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Suki continued to sit where she was, trying to control her sobs. She was afraid this might happen to her. She was becoming too attached to Kya that she was beginning to feel she truly was her mother, and the thought of losing her was too much to bear. She had to control herself. Unfortunately, that became much more difficult when she emerged from the shadows.

"Suki, where is Sokka going?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eye and still half asleep, trying to make sense of her surroundings.

Suki sniffed and put herself back together so she wouldn't be seen like this in front of her. It was easier said than done, but she managed to accomplish doing so.

"He's just going out for a while. He will be back, and you need to go back to bed," she told the little girl, as nurturing as her emotions would allow her to be at this moment.

"But why?" she asked, confused.

"He just has something to do," Suki answered as she scooped Kya up in her arms, causing her to drop the ragdoll of Aang. "Let's get back to bed now, alright?"

Kya's eyes remained fixated on her doll. She wanted to reach for it, and demand her aunt to get it back, but something stopped her. She didn't know what it was or why it didn't want her to beg for the lifeless object. She was put in her pajamas and set back to bed. Suki planted a kiss on her forward and bid her sweet dreams before leaving the room. She had tried to hide it, but Kya had noticed she'd been crying earlier.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of something pounding at my door.

"Aang! I know you are in there! Open up!" yelled a voice. It was angry, but I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood for someone else's own drama. I'd had a busy day, and had been aching for some sleep. Now this jerk comes over and wakes me up? Guess his parents never taught him no manners...

I picked myself off the couch, taking a minute to wake up. I grabbed the half bottle of beer from the coffee table in front of me and took a sip of it to wake me up, as if the pounding on the door wasn't enough. Meh, it wasn't enough to wake me up though. Luckily, I had something else that would wake me up just enough.

I reached in my pocket and took out the capsule of coke. It hovered over the table as I tapped it, making a line of drugs. I closed the lid to the capsule and placed it back in my pocket, replacing it with a rolled up yuan. I bent down and sniffed up the drug, making sure to get it all up. I coughed quite violently as the buzz hit me. I shook my head to shake it off and made sure I got it all, ensuring no fragments of it were left on my nose.

"Aang, wake up you lazy bastard!" the voice yelled, pounding on my door some more with the bottom of his fist.

_Calling me names now, huh?_ I thought to myself as I turned to the door. _Ever heard of a respectful guest?_ I got up from the couch and approached the door, my head aching from my hangover and my hair drenched with sweat. I swung open the door, not finding the face of my visitor to be a pleasant one.

"Well, hello, Sokka… What brings you here at…" I glanced at the clock across the room, "…one o'clock in the morning?"

"I came to talk to you," he said, his eyes narrowed with what I suspected to be anger. I didn't acknowledge it. Like I had said, I wasn't in the mood for someone else's drama.

"Can't it wait till morning?" I asked leaning against the door frame some more, grinning with my bloodshot eyes.

"No, it can't, unless you're too doped to talk," he retorted.

I chuckled, "Well, now that you mention it…"

Sokka groaned in disgust, brushing past me into my home without at least giving the courtesy to invite himself in.

"Sure, come on in, Sokka," I said sarcastically, closing the door behind him. "Want a drink?" I should have at least offered him a drink, right?

"I'm fine…" he said, looking around my small cabin home. It was crazy in there, dirty bowls and plates scattered everywhere, beer bottles doubling the number of dirty dishes, and clothes scattered. Right now I was only wearing a pair of pants, and my shirt was somewhere in there. I just couldn't remember where.

"No, I'm fine," he finally answered.

Sokka glanced to where the bathroom was, and the door was left open. He looked inside and saw the shattered marble on the ground. He walked towards the restroom and took a peek inside, finding glass shards and fragments of the marble sink spread across the floor. He looked disgusted by the current state of my home. Like I was supposed to care what he thought. He didn't live here.

I leaned against the wall across from the bathroom, just waiting for him to comment. Something inside me wanted him to pick a fight with me about something, anything really.

"So how's your dear old daddy? He gonna live?" I suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Sokka shot a look at me of annoyance and disgust. Seemed like that was the only look he gave me these days. "He'll be fine. No thanks to you."

"Hey, let's not forget who was there when he collapsed, and quite possibly saved that old fart's life!"

"Let's also not forget who _caused_ him to collapse!" Sokka retorted, not pleased by my words...obviously.

I rolled my eyes, "Well if you're looking for someone to blame, looks like I'm the guy you're looking for. It seems everything's my fault nowadays."

Sokka growled in annoyance, trying not to get sidetracked. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? Like I said, seems that I'm being blamed for everything."

He twirled around facing me, "Why are you putting Kya up for adoption?!"

"Ohhhh, that!" I remarked, a smile forming on my face as I walked into the kitchen, feeling dazed and my balance wobbling. I grabbed a beer from the freezer box and popped the cap off on the table, immediately bringing it to my lips. I took a breath of satisfaction, "Well, Sokka, it's quite simple. Unlike you, I don't have a mother, or a father. I don't have brothers or sisters. It's just me, and that's how all Air Nomads are. We don't have families, only guardians. We never see any of our biological parents, and that tradition has been carried on for centuries."

I sipped down more of my beer. "So, I figured the best way to fix this whole mess is to give Kya away, follow the traditions of my ancestors. Set her up for adoption, give her to some guardians."

"What's wrong with me and Suki?" Sokka demanded.

"Simple: You're her biological uncle, meaning you are a biological relative. And the Air Nomad's wouldn't allow that, no, no, no," I explained, deliberately trying to antagonize him with my inconsiderate tone and facial expressions.

"So, adoption is the best decision. Besides, there's a bright side. You and Suki get to stop playing pretend with Kya. Now you can get back to your mediocre lives and stop acting like you are actually parents. Clearly there's some force in the world that doesn't think you're fit to be parents, or else Suki would be able to have kids of her own."

"You leave her out of this," Sokka warned sternly.

"Maybe Katara was wrong; maybe it's not Suki's defect, but yours instead," I stated harshly. "Maybe you are the reason you can't satisfy your own wife with a child, and have to rely on my daughter instead. That's why you are afraid to lose her isn't it? Not because of me, but your own selfish needs."

Sokka tried to ignore my words, and focus his intentions. I was making it difficult for him though, getting under his skin.

"Kya doesn't need this, Aang," Sokka began again. "She can't be taken away from the only family she knows and put into the hands of strangers! She won't be able to handle it!"

I shrugged, "It took me a while. I should have made this decision long ago, when she was still a toddler. That's my mistake, but it must be done either way."

"No, it doesn't!" he rejected. "What she needs is her father, a family that will care for her!"

"I'm sure the adoptive family will take good care of her," I argued, sipping more of my drink.

Sokka growled, "Would you stop being so stubborn, and realize what you've become! For God's sake, Aang… what are you?" he shouted at me, more desperate than demanding. I hated how he tried to care about me. I knew the truth. He didn't care about me. He only cared about himself, Kya, and Suki. He was just here because I was trying to take Kya away from him. Couldn't he just understand I was trying to help her! If she didn't have to deal with this detached family, she would be happy. I know she would be.

I turned away from him, chugging a great amount of my drink before responding. "The result of nothing but pain and misery…" I mumbled to myself, leaning all my weight against the wall as I chugged the alcohol some more. Before I knew it, the bottle was empty. I tried to gather the very last drop before accepting that it was time for another.

"You sure you don't want a drink, _bro_?" I offered once again. "It would help you accept what's going to happen to your dear niece. Trust me; I know it makes the pain go away."

"I'm not going to become like you, Aang. Unlike you, I dealt with the pain of losing Katara, and accepted it, just as I had to accept the loss of my mother!"

I made a sarcastic gasp, "Congratulations! What, do you get a reward for every time you mention your 'acceptance'? Get over yourself, Sokka…" I said as I retrieved another beer. I opened it and began chugging it, "See, this is the difference between you and me. You forget too easily. You wanted to forget she died so you wouldn't have to deal with the loss. You didn't accept it. Hell, I doubt you accept it even now. You want to leave her to rot in the past, just like how she's rotting in her grave."

Sokka's fists clenched and his eyes were narrowed, glaring at me from across the room. I knew he was trying to hold back, but it wouldn't be long until he started the fight I was itching for, whatever the reason was.

I strolled into the kitchen and retrieved another bottle of alcohol, quickly removing the cap and bringing the bottle to my lips, chugging about a quarter of it down easily. I took a breath of satisfaction.

"But you didn't come here to talk about me, now did you? You came to talk about the adoption, probably even to get me to reconsider, right? Well here is my final decision:" a smug grin formed on my lips, "She's going to be adopted, Sokka. I'm going to get her out of this broken family, and put her in the arms of some strangers. She'll never see me, you, or Suki ever again, and I can promise that. All I have to do is say the word. Because whether you like it or not, it is my complete right to do so, and you have no right whatsoever to say otherwise."

He stomped toward me. _Come on. Let it all out._ He was on the edge, and he and I both knew it. He was on the brink of starting the fight I was dying for. He didn't strike me though. He stood toe to toe with me and looked me in the eye.

"I will not allow you to do that to her," he stated with emphasis.

I tipped the bottle into my mouth and drank the rest, then set it on the table. "What are you going to do, Sokka? Punch me? Go right on ahead; it won't change a thing."

We glared into each other's eyes. He was about an inch or two taller than me, but I wasn't intimidated in the least. Finally, he broke eye contact and shook his head, turning away from me.

"Where are you going, Sokka? Going to run back home and tell your wife to stop playing pretend with Kya?" I taunted him, watching him with a smug look.

"I told Suki I wasn't going to do this, but you leave me no choice…" Sokka suddenly twirled around, swinging a balled fist toward my face. I stepped slightly to the side, grabbing the upper part of his arm and leaning backward, raising my leg and kicking him in the chin with a counterattack. He stumbled backward upon the impact.

"Careful, Sokka; some drunks are stronger and faster than you'd think," I taunted him again as he grasped his chin.

He growled, raising his fists, "Or is it the dope enhancing your performance? I saw your eyes, Aang! I never thought you'd actually resort to drugs."

"You don't know me…" I snarled. I charged at him, hoping to deliver another blow. I had been lucky earlier, but the truth was, I was too drunk and stoned to actually fight. This would be an easy fight for Sokka, and he knew it.

He stepped to the side, enough that I ran right past him. As I passed, he jabbed me in the back with the side of his hand, his fingers straight. It was enough to make me clutch my back. I turned back around and balled my fist, aiming for his face. He executed a counterattack similar to the one I used on him earlier, except his was stronger. I was put into a daze and stumbled, bumping into the back of the couch I had been sleeping on. There was an empty bottle on the back of it. I didn't even have to think about it. I took it in my hand and chucked it at him. Of course, he dodged it and came back for me. I tried to focus my senses enough, and gather some form of speed. As he approached me, I was able to kick him in the gut, causing him to bend over in pain. I grabbed his shoulders and began to thrust my knee into his chest repeatedly. Each was strong enough to make his body jump, and he grunted loudly from each blow. I struck him about ten times before I began to lose my strength. I shoved him away from me, knocking him into a wooden chair which fell over and snapped once he fell into it.

"Get out of my house… Get off my island…" I ordered him, bending over and breathing heavily, about to lose balance.

Sokka was set in a daze, his ribs throbbing. His right sleeve had been ripped by the wood of the broken chair, leaving a nasty cut on his upper arm. As he regained his focus, he saw I was kneeling over, trying to keep my balance and grabbing the couch to support me. He forced himself back onto his feet, launching a strong punch across my face. My face jerked to my right from the force of the attack, disorienting me. He curved his fist into my chest, forcing me to kneel over where my face met his kneecap. My head lurched back, making everything blurry and my lip cut and bleeding. As stunned as I became, I could still feel each of the following assaults. He grabbed my shoulder, holding me in place while he punched me with two right hooks, and then switched to a single left hook. By now, I was backed against the wall, at the mercy of his anger being unleashed.

In a daze, I saw the bottle I had set down earlier. I managed to reach out and grab it, shattering it against Sokka's skull. It was enough to stop him from attacking me again while he grasped the spot where the glass shattered, groaning from the sharp pain. He looked at his hand to find small spots of blood. As minor as the injury seemed to be, it hurt like hell to Sokka.

I didn't have the energy to fight back, much less move. I slumped down the wall, ending up on the floor. I could barely control my breathing and my face stung like hell. But Sokka was hungry for more.

The cut on his head had taken its toll on him, and he could now get back to beating the shit out of me. He grabbed my collar and picked me up onto my feet. A left hook snapped my head to the right. With all the other pain I was experiencing, I felt hardly anything. Sokka was ready to finish me. He grabbed my collar again and swung me to the left, shoving me toward the couch. I flipped over it and I landed on the coffee table, breaking both it and the glass cover. The glass shattered under my back, and the wood slanting downward toward my limp body. I was left in the debris of a broken furniture piece, my face bruised and my lip cut and bleeding. The glass ripped some of my clothes and cut me in numerous places, but none very severe.

Sokka approached me, grabbing his arm where he'd been cut. He looked down at me, breathing angrily in a soft growl.

My breathing was rugged, straining as I coughed. "What… are you… waiting for?" I demanded in between short breaths, "Why don't you just… kill me now?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Aang. I would never hurt Kya like that. Killing you would hurt Kya and Katara more than you have already."

I resentfully raised my head, "I never hurt Katara…"

Sokka looked away from me with disgrace, "If you truly believe that, then you _are_ lost."

I sighed in annoyance, dropping my head against the debris, "Fuck you…"

My words didn't reach him, or at least he didn't let them faze him. "You stay away from Kya," he warned. "Do you hear me? Stay away from her, stay away from me, Suki, my father—ALL OF US! All you care about is yourself; you don't even care about Katara anymore. You blame all your pain on her loss, but really it's just you trying to justify yourself. At this point, you can rot in Hell for all I care," he growled.

"Your words… won't affect my… decision…" I interjected. "She's not yours to raise…"

"Go right on ahead, Aang. I dare you to try and take her from us," he continued. "I will use every last bit of my power to make sure that _never_ happens. Just because you're the biological father, doesn't mean you know what's best for her."

I was silent mostly the next couple minutes. I wasn't thinking about anything. I just wanted to lay there, let the alcohol, drugs, and fatigue put me to sleep. Finally, I spoke for the final time that night. "Get out… Just… get out."

Sokka just couldn't leave without having the final word. "You were my brother, Aang. Now… you're nothing to me."

The next thing I heard was the door slamming shut. Afterward I didn't even think to get up and at least prop myself on the couch. I just laid there the rest of the night in the pile of debris until I fell asleep, hoping I would never wake up. I would never admit it openly, but Sokka was right. I was nothing to anybody now. The only reason I was alive was because it would be too much trouble to die…

* * *

**Ugh, finally this chapter is done! After finishing DoD I got straight back to work on this chapter. It took me awhile to get readjusted to the mood and tone of the story, but I managed to do so and finished it within three or four days. Thank you all so much for being patient and I am sorry for the long delay in updates. I've been focusing my attention on my other story with its higher viewer count and success, but now I'm going to finish this story, and I'll try not to get behind this summer.**

**And just a reminder to everyone—if you don't like the idea of Aang drinking, smoking, or doing drugs, but still want to continue reading the story, you just have to deal with it. I'm sorry, but in order for the story to have the impact it needs, things must be changed. Many might even say Aang is out of character. Well, to be honest, you are right, but you are also wrong. You are right because normally, Aang would never do ANY of this stuff, but you are wrong because anyone, even the most moral of beings, can completely collapse under the pain of a close one's loss. You can't always just say it's "water under the bridge" and move on. It's difficult for others, depending on how close the person was and the amount of impact he/she had on them. So yes, even Aang could fall into this type of depression, especially with how much impact Katara had on his life.**

**So anyways, read, review, and check back for the next chapter.**


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